By Dicky Sykes
No ladies I don’t mean what you think because we’ve been faking that for years so I didn’t have to convince anyone to participate, we’re all pros. I said ‘fake it’ in my previous article entitled ‘In This Economy You Better Learn How to Fight.’ In that article, I asked how much confidence you have or are willing to fake to get the life you say you want. Some of you may have misunderstood what I meant by fake it. Don’t ever fake who you are; your authentic self places you in proper emotional and spiritual alignment to express your passion and talent to the world. Authenticity makes you believable, credible and sells your story. Authenticity and the power of your voice is what changes the world and sets you free to do miraculous things. What you can fake is how you feel because in this economy you are not going to feel enthusiastic, confident and hopeful every day. Faking positive behaviors changes the trajectory of your day, of your life.
Fake standing tall when you normally stand with your shoulders slumped and eventually you’ll stand and walk tall all the time. And we all know standing tall gives you the look of confidence and authority. Fake smiling when you feel annoyed, frustrated or fearful that the America of your childhood doesn’t exists. Smile because you live in a country that allows you the freedom to become anything you can imagine. Smile because the Chilean miners are free. Smile because it attracts people to you, gives you energy and just plain makes you feel good. No one wants to be around a grouch or give a job to one. Fake speaking with passion, unbridled zest and excitement about why you love what you do. You see research has proven that it isn’t just about what you say but how you say it. People who exhibit charismatic gestures are more successful in job interviewing, business presentations and negotiations. I’ve been part of many business presentations where the presenters sound as if they were on life support. They were subject matter experts but enthusiasm which is derived from the two Greek words ‘en’ and ‘theos’ was non existent and it showed. Fake confidence and soon you’ll be taking a new class, moving to a new location, writing HR managers to ask for informational interviews and writing articles for your local newspaper. Confidence gives you the courage to ask difficult questions, behave in ways that feel uncomfortable and try unfamiliar career strategies.
Fake a sense of humor; if you can laugh, you can handle many of life’s adversities. Stop taking yourself so seriously. As you’ve often heard, laughter is the best medicine. They have groups that get together just to learn how to laugh, its called laughter therapy. To join a Laughter Yoga club or to find out more about this movement visit www.laughteryoga.org . Fake feeling good; so many unemployed people that I meet don’t realize the hostility and fear they exude. It’s palpable. Those non verbal’s can kill a job interview or any other opportunity.
Now for the big fake out, fake charisma and soon you’ll have some of that too. Charisma comes down to how well you communicate; how well you engage people and act interested in who they are, what they do and what they like. You show charisma by not multitasking. You show charisma by being fully engaged and tuned in. You know those multitaskers who don’t seem a bit interested in who you are or what you have to say because their checking their blackberries, accepting multiple phone calls, typing furiously on their keyboards and looking at everyone and everything else other than you while talking. These behaviors don’t make people feel good or represent you positively. Come on now I know you know how to fake charisma. Some of you do it when you’re watching sports with your mate or while your BFF asks you numerous times “do these pants make my butt look fat?” We all know how to show a little fake charisma. Charisma is shown when making good eye contact, smiling, nodding your head to show agreement when another is talking and active listening.
You don’t have to have charisma, confidence or courage to fake it. You see, faking tricks the brain in believing you really are confident and courageous. Your brain responds to behavior, it cannot distinguish between real or fake. If you stand tall, smile, speak with authority, act courageously and exhibit charisma than that’s who you are and that’s what others see! They don’t see a faker and within a few months you won’t be. Those new ‘fake’ behaviors will come to represent the ‘real’ you! The combination of confidence and charisma will place you way above your competition in any arena. These are the behaviors that corporate superstars exhibit. Whether you’re looking for a job, wanting to upgrade your job, giving a business presentation or speaking at the local high school’s career day, fake it.
Are you a faker? Leave a comment on my blog http://askdickie.dgsconsultingllc.com telling me what behavior you’ve faked.
Dicky Sykes, the President of DGS Consulting LLC, is pursuing a Masters in Psychology at Walden University. She is a featured guest columnist for We Magazine for Women, Kalon Women, The Savvy Gal and Women Online Magazine. Need a career coach? Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org or 404 567-5790. To order ‘Yes You Can Still Find a Job’ on audio CD, log onto www.dgsconsultingllc.com Job tips offered in Spanish $5.99 –MP3 version only and Korean MP3 and audio CD at http://korean.dgsconsultingllc.com.