love and relationships / Love and Romance / Relationships


"WHEN ROMANCE ENDS WITH REGRET, MANY FIND RELEASE IN DECOUPLING CEREMONY"For many couples hurtling towards divorce or the end of a serious romantic relationship, the love ends before the divorce decree is signed or someone moves out.  For some though, the emotional circumstances surrounding a break-up are more complex.  A growing segment of this group participate in a rite called a Decoupling ceremony to find closure with their ex-partner that a divorce decree or returning an apartment key don’t provide.

According to Gillian Harris, who holds a master’s degree in spiritual psychology and runs Bless & Clear Sacred Ceremonies in Malibu, California, studies show people involved in diDear Heidi,vorce believe they spend too much time thinking about their ex after the end of the marriage.  “The Decoupling ceremony enables people to shed feelings of victimization, to recognize shared history and to acknowledge and accept the journey into the future with no baggage,” says Harris.

The ceremony takes different forms based on the individuals involved but usually entails an initial consultation with the two participants followed by a private ceremony where both parties declare their mutual forgiveness and release.  Candles may be used and crystals that vary but may include selenite for purification and rose quartz for heart chakra energy.  At a certain point, rings may be removed.  Children from the marriage participate as witnesses to the powerful act of forgiveness.

One of Harris’ clients who participated in a Decoupling ceremony remarked a few days after the ritual was performed that “I feel like our love is deeper and more fully expressed now than it ever was before.  I’m newly single and going into it blissfully!”

The ceremony lasts approximately 20 minutes. Fees begin at around $250.  Although recommended for both ex-partners, Harris notes that the ceremony can be conducted with individuals.  “Often, the emotional toll of divorce weighs heavier on one party and we accommodate them,” says Harris.  “The Decoupling ceremony benefits everyone who places equal significance on ending a marriage as they did when they entered it.”


Gillian Harris discovered her gift as a clairvoyant as a young teenager and spent her life discovering the true nature of humans as spirit beings.  Rev. Harris is an ordained minister with a master’s degree in spiritual psychology.  She is a Reiki master and teacher, transition midwife, medium, channel, intuit, and the founder of Bless & Clear Sacred Ceremonies in Malibu, California.  She is the author of The Secrets of Lost: The Validity of Multidimensional Existence, available wherever books are sold. To learn more visit

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