…But I Can’t Trace Time By Adele Alfano

Time May Change Me…But I Can’t Trace Time” are the famous words from the song “Changes” by David Bowie! Just turning 49 and knowing that 50 is around the corner, I cannot begin to trace where the time has gone. Time is passing at light speed at this age! Just this past weekend, we celebrated a friend’s 50th birthday. There are five of us girls that all met in high school and we have known each other for over 30 years. We still feel and act like we were in high school. But, time has certainly changed us.

I use to love filling out surveys until I reached my 40’s! It was fun filling in the survey box when your age was between 25-31 or even 32-44. Now I am filling in the age-box between 45-52 years old! So, I have decided to ban filling out surveys that ask my age…no matter what the prize is!

I am a typical woman, bombarded by the media, in her mid- 40’s, who speaks in front of hundreds of people for a living. I need to always put my best face forward, because that is the first thing an audience notices. I do not get a second chance to make a first impression. I have noticed an extraordinary amount of people selling and promoting wrinkle reductions, injections, age-defying creams, age-reflecting powders and wrinkle pumping spritzers. At a recent women’s show, my head was reeling, caught up in the moment, the excitement and in the promise of looking younger! I tried every product, calculating in my head how much looking younger actually costs.

Looking in the bathroom mirror at this event, I decided to be a volunteer for a wrinkle- smoothing demonstration on the last day of the show. What can I say…they caught me at a vunerable moment. I was 15 minutes away from having my wrinkles smoothed out, when a colleague asked where I was going and I laughingly said that I was getting my wrinkles zapped! She stopped me at the doorway, arms outstretched and refused to let me leave! I am glad that she did because upon further reflection I thought:


Sure, it would be great to have the wrinkle-free face we had in our 20’s. But, I would not like to have the insecurities, the lack of confidence, the lack of acceptance that I had in my 20’s. It was so self-defeating and energy draining! I would not give up being this age and all that comes with it…a sense of empowerment, self-acceptance, confidence, wisdom, a passion and zest for living! No wrinkle free cream can replace that! As my life partner always says…you are now a woman of substance!


Oh…Confucius was so smart and he did not have to deal with all this age-defying stuff! There is no such thing as perfection, and yet we are constantly trying to achieve it. Even the most educated and well read women can succumb to the pressure of looking perfect. Wouldn’t it be better to be that diamond with a little imperfection than a rock that is supposedly perfect. You do not need to be perfect, just perfectly you! Only a diamond (you) would know that you have a flaw. There is nothing wrong with taking care of ourselves. I am the first one to admit that I faithfully moisturize, love makeup, masks, facials etc. But, there is a fine line between moderately preserving ourselves against getting older or obsessing over it.


One of the nicest compliments ever given to me was ‘that when you walk into a room, sunshine walks behind you’. If I am paid no other compliments in my natural existence, this one I will always treasure. Because I have worked hard to polish, brighten and shine my treasures inside. That is where our true glowing and translucent skin comes from. It comes from the age-defying remedies of laughter, joy, happiness, sharing, having a loving attitude, being encouraging, friendly, optimistic, non-judgmental and accepting of all…especially ourselves. It is not packaged in a bottle or a cream…but just waiting to be excavated, opened and brought to the surface.

Think and be good to yourself…your inner self. And put your best face forward not filled with chemicals, peels or scrubs…but filled with luminescent and brilliant glow stemming from the inside out! So I will proudly continue filling out surveys, taking pride in my age and not succumbing to the pressures of the media and others. It is free and does not cost anything!

NOMINATED FOR CANADA’S 100 MOST POWERFUL WOMEN Canada’s Diamond Coach Adele Alfano is “The Speaker with a Spark” and Best-Selling Publisher and Author Visit her online at www.AdeleAlfano.com

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