Me, myself, and my mother…

From the time a girl is born until she becomes twelve or thirteen, her mother is basically the only person that matters. Her mother is a fairy godmother in the flesh. You envision yourself becoming like her when you grow up. But the mother-daughter relationship is bound to have rifts sometimes.

Adolescence is a trying time for the mother-daughter relationship. Who was once thought of as the greatest human being in existence suddenly becomes otherwise. Her inquisitive nature is not so amusing anymore. Your usual intimate conversations gradually makes you feel like you’re on trial.

Whether mothers admit it or not, they are reluctant to let go of their little girls. They want to shelter their daughters from any hurt, failure, and unfavorable situations. Mothers sometimes find it difficult that their daughters are slowly becoming independent individuals. This independence is often the cause of conflicts in mother-daughter relationships.

When girls are in their teens, they learn to be interested in other people. They find out things from people other than their moms. Even if most daughters do not mean to detach themselves from their mothers, they will eventually be sharing less and less time with each other. After all, there are other people to spend time with. Not all adolescent females break free from the bonds of the mother-daughter relationship. If the relationship is built on firm ground, this phase of life could even mean a stronger connection between a mother and her daughter.

And yet, there are issues that dampen a lot of mother-daughter relationships. Mothers still want to have a say on what a daughter wear, where she should go, and who she should see. Daughters see this as a blatant invasion of privacy and abuse of power.

The bright side is that when the daughter grows up, they “see the light.” Sometimes it happens when they reach adulthood or when they become mothers themselves. The point is, it will happen.

So moms, take heed, have patience and enjoy this time in your lives. If you are the mother of a teenage daughter, remember that “this too shall pass.” Do your best to keep the lines of communication open, to try not to judge too harshly and to allow her to make some decisions on her own. They won’t always be the right decisions, and like all human beings sometimes making the wrong decision turns out okay.Its important to allow your daughter(s) to become the woman she was intended to become. After all, you are her role model. And you turned out okay. Right?