By Kathy Williams
It seems our life journeys, especially as women, can be very trying at times but in hindsight the experience really prepared us, gave us strength and offered insights we’re able to benefit from during future endeavors.  Sometimes we feel fortunate, we had a close call and only the tip of an ice berg surfaced and, other times, we are less fortunate and it feels like the iceberg just took down our ship leaving us gasping for air! 

When such tragedy strikes and our worst fears come to pass, it is so important to be present; to feel the situation.  Do not choose to ignore it in hopes it will just go away; denial is not the answer it only prolongs the agony.  It is scary to embrace a fear but it is necessary so you can begin to process and free the negative energy.  Otherwise, your raincloud will turn into a severe storm.  Have you ever had a bad moment turn into a bad day that turned into a bad week and so on?  Your destructive reaction to the drama fed the bad energy.  Let’s face it, we’re all human and therefore, most of us initially react to drama negatively. 

As women, we tend to take ownership of the problem regardless if we caused it or not.  We blame ourselves; maybe if we would have done something differently or recognized the problem sooner etc, it may have been avoided.  This second guessed self torture is unhealthy and only escalates emotions.
Beyond the initial reaction, it is critical to figure out how to get over the impact and how to find something positive from the misfortune to change your energy.  It helps to think of what you might do to support a girlfriend if she were in the same situation your are struggling to overcome.  As women, it is our nature to nurture and help others; when we place ourselves in a loved one’s shoes it helps us to see the situation more clearly.  

This builds a new foundation; a grounding course of action essential to find our footing.  Once the initial shock is over and the impact is felt, process the situation and begin searching for its silver lining.  What lesson can this hardship teach?  When we’re able to find something positive from the trial, the glass is suddenly half full instead of half empty.  Perhaps, now you are more educated and less naïve, maybe you are more cautious or maybe you found a new friendship, someone you would have never met without the mishap.  It is critical to take something from the ordeal; this validates the encounter and helps you to avoid reliving the tribulation time and time again. 

We all know the old sayings, “live and learn” and “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” This strength carries us through life’s valleys and instills our appreciation for life’s mountain highs!
About the Author: Kathryn J. Williams has transitioned her career to healing arts from an executive level business woman in the automotive industry.  She works as an author and artist to increase spiritual well-being through inspirational poetry and unique commissioned drawings.  Her book was written to help those suffering sudden life hardships.  If this article resonated with you, click here to review Kathryn William’s book, What Can I Say When Words Escape Me, being present in times of sorrow.

This article is excerpted from the Winter 2010 Issue of WE Magazine for women. You can read more articles for women here: