Balance & Lifestyle / Careers and Work / Communication

Selecting the Appropriate Voice

Selecting the Appropriate Voice by PamelaKay D. Griffin

Have you ever gotten to the office expecting to find a report on your desk only to discover that the person responsible for generating the data was at the dentist and wouldn’t return until an hour after your deadline for presenting or publishing the report content?  Maybe you were the respondent who tried to explain with a Novocain numbed mouth that you weren’t aware of the deadline.  Both positions are frustrating.  Our typical unempowered response is to deduct points from our personal effective communication scores while blaming the other person for the confusion.

You can unravel these miscommunications with the pop psychology theory that divides the population into one of two types of “verts” — introverts and extroverts.  The source from which we draw our energy is the criterion that distinguishes us as one “vert” or the other.  Simply put, if you’re energized by being in the company of others, and your energy’s diminished after periods of alone time, you’re probably an extrovert.  If you find that socializing drives you to crave a retreat into solitude for reviving and restoring your soul, chances are you’re an introvert.

Introverts often spend much of their alone/rejuvenating time preparing for the next social encounter.  They’re inclined to “rehearse” conversations repeatedly over and over in their heads.  Occasionally, introverts confuse the conversations they’ve had aloud with the ones that were restricted to the inner workings of their minds.  Consequently, introverts can find themselves on a rant perceiving that what they’ve communicated repeatedly has been ignored.

So, if you recognize that others frequently appear to have ignored what you’re certain you’ve told them, consider that you might benefit from paying closer attention to the voice you use to communicate.  The voices inside your head don’t inform anyone around you of anything.  Select one of your outside voices — the ones that are audible outside of your head.  Other people can hear your outside voices and can better respond in accordance with your desires.

If you’re often on the defensive because of information you never received, you might be dealing with introverts who honestly perceive that the information you needed was disseminated effectively.  Resist the temptation to doubt your competence and to belabor what was or wasn’t said.  The situation is what it is.  The powerful response is to focus on getting what is to resemble what is desired as closely as it can under the current circumstance.


PamelaKay D. Griffin is a humorist and writer living in Tampa, FL. A former social worker turned writer to help inspire, enlighten and yes, make you laugh.

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  1. Todd Goewey says:

    Very insightful. I want more. You have wetted my appetite. Now I want to know more of what drives the extrovert, and what may happen if one is dealing with extroverts in the workplace. Or what happens when both “verts” (I love that term. I wil be using it in a sermon.) are co-workers on a project?
    Very good stuff. You’ve got me thinking, and at the end of the day – that is a very impressive feat!

  2. Was the voice in my head giving the directions, or as it the words comming out of my mouth as a major source of “Miscommunication. Very stromg point with a great hook “Verts”.
    I think I can use the ‘HOOK’ to access my accountability for my daily ‘Communications. Good article.

  3. Great Job! I’m with Todd! Being an extrovert myself, I’m anxious to hear more on that!

  4. Dianne Silliman says:

    Quite thought provoking. Put’s a whole new light on how one may communicate with co-workers, even spouses! Give us more!

  5. julie cortese says:

    i loved the article. is it possible to be an extrovert some of the time and an introvert at other times? when i have a number of social times in a row, i crave to be alone and quiet. once i have my alone time, i seek social outings to energize myself. it is a fairly consistent schedule. years ago, i called this quiet, alone time as “wall time”. i sit, my mind wanders and then i usually take a nap. no radio, no TV, just silence. some people have no idea what i am talking about and apparently don’t need this time.

    i believe there are times when i am talking and i think the other person is not “tuning in” to the conversation versus the person who intentionally “tunes you out”.

  6. Linda Pearson says:

    Interesting thoughts. Your article spoke to both of the Gemini twins within me–one “vert” is “IN” at least for part of the day or night and the other is always “OUT” where she belongs! Your article brings a whole new light to the importance of knowing and understanding the “INs” and “Outs” of our business and personal worlds! As little Oliver would say, “More, please.”

  7. David Deerfeeder says:

    What?? Didn’t I already tell you my response?? I’m sure I did!!

    (Just kidding…I’m an extrovert!)

    Love the article. Keep up the good work!

  8. Barbara Lane says:

    Introvert, that’s me! least one side of me…the Gemini that I am.. lucky me for I’m sure ‘myself and I’ are both introverts!
    Thought provoking article Pam… I like it!

  9. Joan Cichon says:

    An all too brief take on just two of our “verted” population: what are we to make of our interactions with converts? Perverts? Reverts? Diverts? Inverts? Please key another article soon to answer these and other pressing questions, such as … (I’m thinking very loud) …