4 Ways to Increase Self Confidence by Eldonna Lewis-Fernandez
It’s been said that FEAR stands for “Forget Everything And Run.” It’s that uncomfortable, disconcerting feeling that causes us to take a back seat in our own life and prevents us from proactively moving forward to reach our goals and aspirations. Instead of facing a personal, business or workplace situation head on and taking control of the proverbial handlebars of life, fear causes us to turn theother way, freeze in our tracks, or poke our head in the sand. Fear is rife with insecurity, uncertainty and timidity. One way to counteract fear’s adverse impact on your life and career is to increase your self confidence, which can be easier than you think. Apply these rules of engagement to your life and you will be will on your way to accelerating down the road toward success:
1. Turn Negative Self-Talk to Powerful Self-Talk. What that means is change that voice in your head that tells you that you can’t do it, I’m not young enough, smart enough, attractive enough to a voice that says, I can do anything, I’m awesome, successful.
The world we live in is so full of negativity that it’s actually harder to find things that aren’t negative. The news, media, Internet, TV, everything we come across is mostly full of negativity. We have to work extra hard to stay positive in a negative world.
One thing you can do to combat negativity is to use a tool to change the self talk. One of the tools I use are power questions I ask myself to change my thoughts to something more powerful. The main question I like to ask myself is “What do I absolutely love about myself today?
Ask yourself this power question when the negative self talk is going through your mind and you will help combat the negativity.
2. Release All Resentment – Resentment is the poison we take that we think kills others but it really kills our spirit Do you have any resentment towards people that is no longer serving you? Who is it hurting to carry that resentment? I resented my mother for over 30 years. She died when I was 12 and I stayed angry at her most of my life. Who was it hurting? Not her. She’s dead!
Even if you resent someone who is still alive and did you so wrong, that you feel justified in being angry for what they did, there is no freedom in resentment. The freedom is in the release. Letting go of the anger and the energy that it takes to be angry and resentful will give you more freedom and happiness than you can imagine.
3. Surround yourself with people who hold you to a higher standard, not people who bring you down. Your close inner circle of friends needs to be people that are supportive of your goals and dreams. They are people that encourage you, believe in you and have good things to say to you. Do you have any friends or co-workers who are always complaining or seeing things from a negative point of view? Do you have any friends that are into “mad drama” and always stirring things up? If you’re friends are not helping push you up the ladder and instead wanting to pull you down, you might want to take a look at who you are spending your time with.
In order to reach your dreams, one of the most important things you need to do for yourself is make sure you hang around people who are going in a positive direction. It’s beneficial to keep company with those who are further along than you are, you can learn so much from them and it will help you elevate faster. Perhaps you have a best friend that you engage in negative talk or gossip with. Maybe together you can make a pact to hold each other accountable to encourage each other and be supportive of each other. Sometimes it’s easier to do it with an accountability buddy than by yourself.
4. Take Positive Action Toward your Goals and Dreams – Dreams without action are just fantasies. If you want your dreams to come to fruition, you have to take action to make things happen. Many times we have a list of goals but don’t have a plan to take action and make the dreams come true.
I have things I plan to get accomplished on a daily basis.
They are small goals to get to my larger goals. For me, if I don’t make a “6 Most Important Things to Do” list, then I don’t get anything done. I will sit there staring at my computer, playing solitaire or playing around on Facebook and waste time. When I make a list, it keeps me focused and helps me be disciplined in completing the tasks. I may multi task and slip some other things in but having that list keeps me focused on my goals.
For instant, this past weekend it ended up being a fourteen most important things to do list. It was a daily list that turned into a weekend list. Writing this article and getting my newsletter done was one of the goals on the list. I got 11 of the 14 things done on the list and felt great about it. Some of the things were income-producing activities, which put money in my account.
The best way to stay focused on your goals is to have something to keep you disciplined and focused. The Most Important Things list works well for me. Use that or find something that works well for you and will keep you heading toward your goals and dreams.
Eldonna Lewis-Fernandez, an engaging motivational speaker known internationally as The Pink Biker Chic – a brand developed to empower individuals to take control of the handlebars of their lives through the power of PINK: Power, Integrity, Negotiation and Knowledge. Don’t let the pink fool you. Master Air Force contract negotiator Sergeant Eldonna Lewis Fernandez is a force to be reckoned with. She trains women and men how to re-think and re-direct their energies for higher performance and better bottomline professional and personal decisions. She may be reached online at www.PinkBikerChic.com.
