I often hear my clients say “I just want things to change in my life.”
They go into the various ways that they have been trying to change and how it’s not working.
My first question is, “What have you done and why do you think it is not working?” They answer “Well I started this, or that and I said this affirmation or that, made a vision board etc.”
Usually they report that 1 of 3 results happened: Things changed for a little while a nd then they changed back a short time later. Two, things got worse and then started to fall apart. Or three, they stuck with their process and nothing makes sense anymore, “I look around and nothing makes sense. I don’t fit in with my friends, my family, my job and things feel kind of empty and dark.”
Although there are others, these are 3 of the most common points of change and if you’re feeling any of these you’re on the right track!
Let’s take a look:
This is the process of expansion and contraction. Your mind and your higher self expand but your inner critic prefers to be the old way.
can make that lower self quite anxious as it’s very comfortable to be the old way. First of all it’s a habit, second it’s easier and third it’s the known vs. the unknown.
Here are 3 ways to handle it:
1. Be aware that when we are expanding and making big changes there is always a bit of contraction back to what we were used to in the past. It’s like stretching out a piece of leather, you stretch it, it expands a bit and then contracts, you stretch it a bit more and it expands further and does not contract back as much.
Patience and persistence are key here. You are building new habits. If a toddler takes a step and falls she gets back up and tries again. With each attempt she is building her muscles, finding her balance and gaining strength. Before you know it one step turns into two, two to three and she is running across the floor.
As adults we take ourselves so seriously and expect a straight line to success. But this is an unrealistic approach. Each time we stumble we are being strengthened and educated. Stick with it and soon you will be “running across the floor!”
At this point it is important to focus on healing or clearing out the old stuff. There are plenty of techniques for clearing and healing. Taking hot sea salt baths, quiet walks in nature and journaling are all great tools for easing the way. Meeting with a trained spiritual practitioner or mental health practitioner is also a powerful way to get support and accelerate your progress.
2. Things seem to be getting worse This is very common! You ask for those big new things and suddenly your job goes away or your relationship falls apart or something else seems to go haywire. This is to make room for the new. There is always a limbo period for things to configure. Ease it up by taking an honest inventory and letting it all go. Don’t hold on unnecessarily. As you are changing your physical circumstances your mental perspective has to shift as well!
If you are asking for 1 thing and not willing to let go of something else you will short circuit your desires and create stuck energy for sure! If you go to fill up your mug with fresh coffee, you must dump out the old coffee first and clean out the cup right?
3. You feel like nothing fits anymore – “I feel numb and lost, like I don’t know what to do next.” This is actually a great sign that the change you’ve been seeking is already here! You’re on a new playing field and have a fresh set of tools that you may not be aware of yet. This is a great sign. The best thing to do to is be still and listen to your inner voice.
Sit quietly for a few minutes. Then go out and play. Insight actually comes when you STOP focusing on what the “problem” is and switch your attention to something else, preferably physical activity. When you get a small hunch, take action! The new path will be revealed.
Making real and lasting change is a long term process. But being aware of what it actually looks and feels like can really help and give you the encouraging news that you are closer than you think! So don’t give up!
Mariana Cooper (Mari) is the Founder of Aha! Moments,Inc. and the Host of the International Aha! Moments Radio Show dedicated to the Inspiration, Education and Celebration of Enlightened Entrepreneurs Worldwide. The Aha! Moments Inc. Community and “bloggazine” are all about living life joyfully 1 Aha! Moment at a time! www.ahamomentsinc.com