Interview with Lisa Hein, Speaker & Parenting Author of THE BOOK I’m Doing the Best I Can!
“This is a great book for parents at any stage of parenting. It’s never too late to start being a really great parent. I recommend you go out TODAY and get your copy.” Heidi Richards Mooney
1. What inspired you to write THE BOOK “I’m Doing the Best I Can!” (They won’t always be cute and adorable)?
It was really quite amazing how this all got started. You see, when our child was younger, we had the best time with him. He was the only child, so we thought nothing of providing him with everything we never had. He always had the best of everything, whether we could afford it or not. As he began to grow up, the demands were getting greater and I did everything I could to keep up with them. It didn’t matter if we could afford it or not, I just wanted to make sure he had everything he wanted. Still not thinking that maybe this was eventually going to backfire on me. My husband would tell me to stop, but, being the “new attitude” mom, (making sure he had everything I didn’t as a child), I couldn’t understand what the big deal was.
Well, eventually I saw what the big deal was. I had stripped my child of character, ethics, humility and dignity. His attitude was demanding and full of expectations. The worst thing was out of all this, I had to come to grips with what I had created. My innocent behavior came back and knocked me on my butt.
2. Why did you feel that sharing your story would be helpful to other parents?
Once he went into high school, I started listening to the horror stories that other parents would share with me. I really wasn’t sure why, all of a sudden they felt like they had to talk to me, but maybe that was how my journey was to start to realize that other parents were experiencing the same situations and they weren’t sure what to do.
3. What do you see as being the most common problem parents want to share with you?
How self-centered and self-absorbed our children are. I mean there isn’t a problem with providing your children with necessities, and sometimes a little more, but when they become so expecting of you, it really makes parents mad. Now, what do we do with that anger? When I speak at different PTA Meetings or conferences, many parents will ask, “What do we do now?” Well, we have a couple of things we can do. First and foremost, STOP DOING WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND LEARN TO SAY “NO!” or keep doing what you’re doing and being frustrated!
4. How have you been promoting yourself as a self-published author?
With wonderful sites such as WE Magazine for Women, it makes it very nice to share your information with others. I have been on numerous television and radio shows, as well as having articles written about me in local magazines and newspapers.
I have also been invited to speak at PTA Meetings and conferences around the state of Florida.
5. What inspires you to continue your journey?
Because I see the need. Parents are, at times, embarrassed to let others know they are struggling in their relationships with their children and it’s not easy for them to talk about it. When I go to my venues, I never know exactly what is going to happen. The last conference I spoke at was for teachers and educators. There were a total of ten sessions going on at the same time I was speaking, most of them dealing with education . There were approximately 650 participants in which over 300 of them showed up at my Parenting Session! That’s what keeps me inspired.
6. Lisa, what is the most important thing you wish to get out of speaking to parents?
That we reach our children and teach them how to be good, wholesome young people with morals, ethics and character.
7. Do you feel that your audience is being touched by your story? Have you heard feedback from them after they read THE BOOK?
Absolutely! You can go to my website and read the reviews. They speak for themselves. The feedback has been very positive. In fact, I have asked my guests to fill out a Review Form, and usually about 95% of the feedback is positive. You can’t always make everyone happy and I understand that.
8. Children today do not have work ethics and they expect everything to come from their parents. What do you think about that and what can we do to encourage our children to help out?
This problem has become an epidemic. Parents must start teaching their children, age appropriately, how to be a participant in the family, ie., everyone has chores. If we bring our children up earning their own money, maybe they won’t be so needy and when they get their first job, they will be humbled rather than burdened! When I think back when I was young, we had to work for everything we wanted. I use to edge peoples walkway with a shovel!!! Then, I would take my money and put the pants I ‘had’ to have on LAY AWAY for three weeks until I had more money to pay them off!!
9. How honest should we be about our financial situation today. I mean, our lives are definitely not what they were 6 months ago. Our finances are a little scary right now and parents are wondering if they will have a job next week. How much should we tell our children?
Children must be aware of what their parents are going through. Parents are experiencing financial problems, losing their jobs, and maybe not making the money they were. We have all lost some of our nest egg and we must become truthful about the fact that we may not be able to continue the lifestyle we have been living. We must encourage, again age appropriate, the importance of everyone working together and helping out. Hopefully when this mess passes over, we can go back to meeting their needs, but with boundaries.
10. What is the most important thing we can do, as parents, to help our children become stable, well-mannered, enthusiastic, young adults.
To teach them how to be respectful and well-mannered. To let them understand that because there is so much negativity and disrespect does not mean it’s acceptable. We must pull in the boundaries with our children today because the world likes to teach them that wrong is right and right is wrong. To understand that we are the parents and we have control what our children watch and listen to. We also have the right to turn the computer off if it’s not being used for homework. Children today have to much freedom to explore into territories they don’t belong in. They are getting mixed messages and it is really up to each and every parent to keep their children’s focus on healthy and creative information rather than the garbage that exists.
To learn more about Lisa Hein, visit www.LisaRHein.com.