Find It and You Will Flourish! By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
When we are in the midst of life trauma it is very difficult to feel anything but the pain, hurt and disappointment related to that experience. But very often, looking back in hindsight, we can find meaning, relevance, valuable lessons and insights that were the direct result of those major life challenges. Without that life-altering event we would not become the successes we are today.
Many people look upon that result as the “gift” they received from the experience – the wisdom they gleaned, the turning point they needed to move on to a new chapter in their lives. They look back and can say while the lesson was tough, they don’t regret it in the least.
I believe divorce, illness, the loss of a job or death of a loved one can be seen as one of those “gifts” and life lessons if we choose to look for the reward. What did you learn as a result of that challenge? Who are you today that you would not have been had you not had that experience? Do you see inner wisdom or strength that makes you proud? Have you made decisions that are more supportive of your life and values? Do you like yourself better? Have you found new career directions, new faith or new meaning in life as a direct result of your trauma?
If you can’t yet answer yes to any of these questions, give yourself time. Perhaps you have not fully moved through the inner and outer transitions resulting from your challenge. Perhaps you are still holding on to resentment, anger, jealousy or other negative emotions that are keeping you from experiencing the freedom from old programming and patterns.
I believe there can be a gift in every tough experience in our lives – if we choose to see it. And why shouldn’t we put our energy in that direction? What good does it do to hold on to a past that has slipped away – or to people who are not giving us the love and support we deserve? When we let go of the past, we open the door to a new future – and only then can we empower ourselves to create that future as a much better outcome for ourselves and those we love.
Everything that occurs in our lives can have a hidden gift. If you speak to someone who has survived illness, divorce or loss of a job and has gone on to create a vibrant life based upon their own passions and values, they will certainly tell you that their challenge was a catalyst to bringing out the best in them. That may not be true for you right now, but there is a gift waiting for you to find. Oftentimes it takes a good whack on the head to awaken us to life’s possibilities and our own happiness.
When you search for the gifts from your challenge it can become another step toward a positive recovery from the life trauma.
Successful recovery takes commitment, conscious awareness and much inner work. It isn’t easy but the rewards can be considerable and long-lasting. Ultimately you will see valuable outer rewards.
Don’t be afraid to go within and plant the seeds for the tomorrow you dream about. With love, patience and gratitude you can overcome life traumas and move on to embrace a new and very rewarding future.
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Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a relationship seminar facilitator and author of How Do I Tell the Kids … about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children — with Love! Her new book, 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50 & Yes, 60! will be published by the end of the year. For more information about Rosalind and her book, visit
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