If only. Of all the two-word phrases in the English language, “If only…” may be the most crippling. “If only I had that job…
“If only my partner were a little more __________…”
“If only I had finished __________…”
You are here, right now, with all the resources you need to do whatever you want to do. You have intelligence, heart, friends, family and a handful of physical resources. You have time, experience, and ample air to breathe. You have it all.
Sure, you might be able to accomplish more or move faster if you had more of something or less of something else, but that kind of thinking is a distraction, keeping you from setting your mind to the necessary task at hand. As long as you’re thinking of all the things you don’t have, and all the places you aren’t, you take precious attention away from where you ARE and what you HAVE, which is everything you NEED.
Anything that needs to be fixed will get fixed along the way. Any place you need to go, you’ll get to along the way.
The most useful question you can ask is, “What do I want?” The most useful question after that is, “What can I do…right now…to move clearly in that direction?”
Once you have the answers to those questions, it’s just a matter of beginning your journey with one…single…step.
And when you hear the “If-only’s” creeping in, stop and reflect, express gratitude for all that you have right now, and reframe your perspective in a way that will empower you to move forward.