1. Take time for yourself. The more you know yourself, the better parent you will be.
2. Be willing to make mistakes. We are all doing the best we can with what we know!
3. Follow your heart in parenting. Teach little children how you want them to behave by telling them what you want.
4. When they don’t behave the way you want, redirect them until they get it. It helps to be patient while they are learning.
5. Eliminate some words from your vocabulary such as Don’t, Can’t, Stupid, and Failure.
6. Help your child recognize that they don’t need to compare themselves to anyone else.
7. Be aware that the quality you don’t like in your child is probably the quality you don’t like in yourself. Our children are our greatest teachers.
8. Encourage your child to problem solve for themselves instead of jumping in to rescue them.
9. Ask them questions such as “What do you think you should do?” or “What do you want to do and rules for the household.
10. Be sure they know you love them and sometimes you don’t like the behavior they are doing. Tell them how they can remedy it.
Sometimes parents get confused that parenting means controlling and manipulating. Our children are not always going to do and say what we want them to. They have a right to be who they want to be. Help them choose to be caring, loving, empathetic, and helpful human beings.
It is important that we teach our children that there are consequences for certain behaviors. When you see a child going off course help them understand what they are doing and what the results will be from what they are doing. Guide them gently to see other alternatives.
Children need love, attention, security and validation. Help them find ways to give those things to themselves.
Until next time, I remain Gramma Shirah
An expert in the area of Self-Esteem and Certified Hynotherapist, Shirah Penn, Founder of Enlightened People Workshops is a retired schoolteacher who taught in Miami Dade County for 42 years. Since retiring in 2002, she has published 2 children’s books called Gramma Shirah Says Words of Wisdom and Gramma Shirah Says More Words of Wisdom. She helps families develop skills in Redirecting Children’s Behavior and self-esteem. Visit her at www.grammashirahsays.com