This is Part Three in the series HOW TO KEEP LOVE ALIVE – AT ANY AGE! by Virginia Crist, Ph.D., LMFT
Get that pizzazz back into your relationship! Rekindle your romance. Who said the honeymoon must end? I don’t believe it. In fact, I have proof to dispute it. In my previous articles I covered key features of a healthy love relationship such as high mutual regard and effective communication. In this article, I would like to focus on time – our most precious commodity.
Somehow, you’ve got to make the relationship a priority in your busy daily schedule. Make time for each other. Romance means that you treat the relationship as important. Remember at the beginning how you put so many other things on hold so you could spend time with this person? Now where is he or she in your list of priorities? To keep a relationship romantically alive, don’t minimize the importance of candlelight dinners, romantic walks and talks and holding hands. Plan to spend time together, to look forward to going places together, doing things together. Take time to have fun together and, it doesn’t have to be expensive. Think of things that people in love can do that doesn’t cost money . .. in addition to making love. Continue to discover what you love about each other. You can only do that if you spend time together.
Relationships are not self-regulating. They are unique and delicate creations that require a great deal of attention and adjustment on an ongoing basis by both parties. However, I am not suggesting that romantics are martyrs. They value their relationship first and do things that enhance their coupleship, while not relinquishing their own needs and wants at the same time. Self sacrifice always backfires because it builds resentment from the giver. Romantic gestures performed out of love provide an abundance of benefits to both the giver and the receiver.
The average American spends 36 hours and 25 minutes per week in front of the TV. We are not talking about computer hours here. How many hours do you spend on your computer each day beyond the required work time? 4? 6? More? How much we have missed! How much we could have benefitted by being tuned into each other rather than being tuned in to our screens.
Only love makes life worth living. I believe that we are born to love as much as we are born to breathe or eat or drink or think. But love requires Time. So, invite your partner to spend quality time with you. Frequently.
Dr. Virginia Crist is in Private Practice in Boca Raton and can be reached at 561-212-6855. Her website is www.askdrv.tv