“I believe that two people are connected at the heart, and it doesn’t matter what you do, or who you are or where you live; there are no boundaries or barriers if two people are destined to be together.” — Julia Roberts
Long-distance relationships’ biggest dilemma is the big question “will it work?” A lot of people these days just don’t believe in the words “true love” and “soul mates” anymore, given the extensive ‘in-and-out-relationship’ scenarios such as divorce and affairs, the buzz about “forever and for always” simply seems to be something for the fairy tale books and not reality. So, what’s the initial reaction when given the statement “I’m in a long-distance relationship”? “Get out of it because it won’t work!”
Fortunately, those in long-distance relationships can take a deep breath and smile because ‘it does work’ based on research interviews of many couples. Although not for everyone, long-distance relationships do have “types” of people who are inclined to it; there’s the “Romantic idealist” or more so the ‘hopeless romantic’ type believing in love at first sight and emotionally in trance with the “you complete me” kind of relationship. Then there’s the “Pragmatist” type, this type are those who have ran out of mate choices within close proximity range and are looking to widen their sphere of probable partners.
Whichever type of person, long-distance relationships are not easy to handle. Apart from the big issue of “miles or oceans apart”, there are other factors that add to its difficulties such as the pressure of when you’d actually be together, not being able to immediately share the happiness or sadness of each other’s day or a simple miscommunication that can lead to a dent in the relationship, or worse. So how does one cope with a long-distance relationship? Here are four tips that may help lighten that load:
1.Lay down a set of rules. It’s always important to settle on how often you’d see each other, including who is going to visit whom and how much communication you’ll have during the time between visits.
2. Have an ending in vision. With all long-distance relationships, looking at a light at the end of the tunnel will balance the frustration of being apart. Some couples talk about and decide on who is going to relocate and when, this takes the pressure off the subject and places some sort of deadline for the “long-term togetherness”.
3.Share as much with each other as possible. Today’s advanced communication technologies have bridged gaps in distances, making staying in touch easier. Prioritize keeping in close touch with each other, this eliminates the doubts and the ‘little green monster” that’s just waiting to be released. Try to build the same intimate understanding that ‘normal’ couples do.
“A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself — to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.” — Leo F. Buscaglia
4.Last but not the least, trust each other. There is no room for jealousy or possessiveness in long-distance relationships, never allow yourself to think a negative way about your partner and trust that he or she is living up to the agreement.
These tips are just some way of taking off some distress of long-distance relationships; always remember though that no matter what kind of relationship you are in, whether conventional or long distance, it’s all about putting the essential attention and effort and being confident that your relationship will work.