Liz Toby is the author of From her for him and this week’s featured author interview.
Liz Toby was born and raised in Southern California. Since she was 15, she says, men have played a central role in her life, the only constant being what little most men really knew about her.
She studied biology in her university years but never pursued a science career.
Today, she works in the hospitality industry, resort/concierge desk, which has allowed her to travel extensively and has necessitated several relocations. With every move, new men have come into her life; her credentials in the school of life and love are those of an adventurous woman.
This is her interview…
When did you first realize you wanted to be a writer?
I never really considered becoming a professional writer. My only publishing experience was my first job upon graduation from college, working in the editorial department of a technical publishing company. After a few years of copy editing, I decided to pursue a career with more human contact.
From her for him are thoughts about men that had been ruminating in my mind for years. All at once, the book just seemed to write itself.
What is your book about?
“From her for him” is a picture book that a woman can personally relate to and would want to give to a man to “clue him in.” Things she knows and a man should know, and maybe some he should not, about how Liz and most women today see being a woman, single life, men, love and sex, and becoming a couple.
Written from a woman’s experience and perspective for a man to read, it is packed full of truths that can help or hinder love and relationships.
Liz dishes up bite-sized nuggets of information in a quick and easy-to-read style that a man can easily chew and digest. She does not shy away or hold anything back. She reveals her inner thoughts and fears in the first chapter, “This is me,” and subsequent chapters develop from there.
- This is me
- How I see men
- Singles scene
- Becoming a couple
Why did you want to write this book?
Men have played a central role in my life since I was 15. The only constants have been what little most men really know about me and how much I have learned about them.
What was the most difficult part about writing the book? The most rewarding?
The most difficult part of writing From her for him was sitting at the keyboard and letting the memories of all the men in my life, good and bad, tell me what to write.
The most rewarding part was finally concluding that he should understand me more fully after reading my book.
What do you hope other people will take away from reading your book?
For men, insights into the mind and lives of a single contemporary woman. For women, validation about the way relationships with men really are.
If you could tell your younger writing self anything, what would it be?
That there would be a lot of garbage copy I would have to throw out to get to the real core of what I wanted to say.
How long did it take to write your book?
Since writing is not my primary job, it took about seven months to complete the book in busts and dry spots.
What was the biggest challenge in writing your book?
I had to balance keyboard time with my work schedule and my social life. The discipline of dedicating a few hours each day to writing was not easy for me. And, often, when I did sit down to write, it was hard to get started. I would find a million excuses to delay touching the keyboard.
Who are your favorite authors (and why)?
For non-fiction, John Gray. He has a lot to say, but unfortunately, many men just won’t read a 200+ or 300+ page book about men/women relationships.
When it comes to fiction, I have no favorites. I am a voracious reader of eclectic genres.
What is your favorite book in the same genre as your work?
The classic guide to understanding the opposite sex: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus by John Gray.
What does literary success look like to you?
I haven’t experienced it, so I wouldn’t know.
What’s the best writing advice you ever received?
Rewriting is everything.
What do you know now that you wish you’d known at the beginning of your writing journey?
How many times I would have to go over the same material to get it right.
What do you do when you are not writing?
In recent years, I have worked in the hospitality industry, which provides me many opportunities to interact with a wide range of people. I love wine bars, virtual spinning, Tae Kwon Do classes, and I always wear my Fitbit.
What’s next for you?
I am mulling over what will be next. The summer before Covid exploded, a girlfriend and I made a European vacation trip. Perhaps, I will write a single woman’s country by country impression of the new men I met on that tour.
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