By Cynthia Helwig, Contributing Editor-at-Large
If you are the type of woman who wears rose-colored glasses going into a relationship or blinded by love, then girlfriend best you take them off right now and here is why. It doesn’t matter if a man buys you trinkets, treats you like a lady and rocks your bed clear across the room while you’re dating. There are certain breeds of men who fish for certain women and are masters at their craft. Far too often, we lead with our heart and not our heads and end up in terrible situations where we loose our money and our souls as well.
Here’s how to spot those dastardly bad boys.
1. The Forever Bachelor
This guy’s accomplished and had plenty of time to perfect his talents. His manners are impeccable, generally smart and attractive as hell, will most definitely be successful and can melt a glacier with his skill in kissing. You are miffed a woman hasn’t won over his heart and you think that you could be what he’s been looking for. You are on a fool’s journey and there will never be a “right woman.” Definite clues are he doesn’t introduce you to friends and family after a few months of steady dating and always has an excuse.
2. The Spinner
This guy is a romancer and dating him is like being on a perpetual honeymoon. More than likely he’s been married, engaged or in several relationships many times and probably has mentioned marriage and has you feeling his heart is only yours. He collects women like trophies and you’re his next conquest. This is a man who moves onto the next victim once he feels the passion has cooled and he’s gotten what he wanted from you. He’s use to getting what he wants and once your delivery begins to slide, he’ll book.
3. Spender He Ain’t
He loves living high on the hog but doesn’t have a pot to pee in and probably a host of skeletons hiding in his closet full of designer tags. He’s skilled though because once he’s in your bed then your wallet will follow. He’s a man who only seeks financially secured women and because we’re caregivers and nurturers naturally, we fall prey easily. If his constant forgetfulness is leaving his wallet at home, he’s short of cash or, it’s in his other pants be very, very wary. Eventually he may ask to borrow money, cosign a loan or, purchase a large ticket item that is supposedly for you both to enjoy.
4. Mama’s Boy
This guy is still latched onto mama’s apron strings major league. He may be terribly sweet, a great lover, super affectionate and understanding but, he doesn’t make decisions unless he discusses it with his mother. The woman is like an unwanted third party you can’t get rid of. Her influence goes beyond whether he wears boxers or briefs; she sticks her nose in where he lives, how he lives, how he votes and on and on. If he’s asked to take sides, mama will win his favor, not you. If your shortcomings don’t match his mother’s strengths, you’ll never be first.
5. The Flyer
This guy hasn’t grown up despite being 30 or 50. Every day is like he never left college, always the party animal, always hangin with his buds, always looking to take off somewhere and doesn’t have a stable thought in his pee sized brain. If anything serious happens, he is out of his element and hasn’t a clue how to handle a bad situation let alone an emergency and won’t know how to be supportive. You’ll love his sense of adventure and boyish charm but eventually it will wear thin.
6. Mr. Ego
This man is very decisive and accomplished and the world is his oyster because it simply revolves around him. He’s always right but, if you mention to prove him wrong, he won’t take it well. He will definitely want an accomplished woman in his life but her star can’t shine brighter than his. He has to be the main focus. He more than likely will embarrass you to lessen your importance but do it in the pretense of being funny. He won’t care what you have to say but may listen only long enough before he cuts in with something of more interest to him.
7. The Controller
This man will literally suck the life out of you. He will choose the restaurant, the movies, decide who you both will keep company with, how you should act in his presence and begin to ostracize you away from your friends and family. Before long he becomes a dictator in regards to what you wear, what you do and how you’ll spend all your free time. His suspicions and control could turn to the extreme and prove harmful. Get away from a man like this pronto.
Relationships are meant to be healthy and flourish into something that will enhance who you are and make you better simply by having a special partner in your life. Men come in all kinds of packages. Realizing the good from the bad will save you a lot of time and heartache.