Relationships / Women and Dating

DEALING with DATING

By Constance J. Rouse

"man and woman on a date"Men are really not that complicated and 9 times out of 10 they really do mean what they say. (That statement does not include those bold face liars that we all know too well.) I am talking about your average, decent guy. I have learned to take what men say at face value and this I learned from an older gentleman who I met in my younger days. Unbeknownst to him this invaluable information has proven to be much to my benefit over my past many something years. And I am convinced that he has helped me avoid much heartache and pain over the years and for that I will be eternally grateful. After knowing him for less than a week he informed me that he never wanted to get married, little did he know, neither did I (not any time soon anyway). Over 20 years later we are still friends and he remains happily unmarried. My point here is that he said he did not want to get married and he meant it and was honest about it right from the start. Honesty is by far the best policy.

We often think we can change and mold men, much like we do our children. We can’t. We need to listen to men and respond accordingly. When men say they don’t want a relationship, take heed. You will soon figure out why he feels that way. When they say they don’t want to get married, listen and you’ll probably understand why he is still single. And when they say they don’t want children, believe them. (But, now if a man says you have put on a little weight, say “SO WHAT”!)

To soften the blow of rejection I have often heard women say that men are intimidated by them for some reason or another. I am sure sometimes this may be the case. But more often than not I think that the men just aren’t really interested, particularly in the long haul. And because we don’t want to accept that rationale we then choose to take solace in believing that we’re just too much for them to handle, which of course, sounds and feels a lot better.

And ladies, just because we are the more emotional sex we don’t have to always expose our softer side. It can be liberating to keep it under wraps every now and then and take control. For instance sometimes when you really feel like crying, don’t, and when a man hurts you, blow it off, particularly while in his presence. Who said we have to own up to being the weaker sex? Men do like strong women and presenting a challenge always gets their attention. Remember, do not always succumb to their wishes because there is much power in that two letter word – NO.

So ladies, when it comes to matters of the heart let a man know who you are right from the start and don’t apologize for or change anything about yourself that he does not respect. There are lots of men out there and if you treat them as if you have options, they may just come running after you, let them. Life is short, so let the man in your life know what you expect, need and will not tolerate from him and if he isn’t hearing you, just say……NEXT.

Constance J. Rouse enjoys writing about women’s issues in a highly humorous manner.

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3 Comments

  1. Alok @OneNationUnderMom says:

    As a man, I can say this is sound advice in both love and business! Be yourself. Don’t be afraid to walk away…But never lose your soft side!

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  3. I believe if you’ll changed for a better you, then it’s worth changing but if you changed just to please your boyfriends, then it is a big NO-NO.

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