Creating relationships is the key to success. However, most of us don’t have a clue about how to develop relationships that are mutually satisfying and productive, especially with people whose personality style is diametrically opposed to our own. There is a simple and clear solution that will amaze you once you truly grasp it – and it has something to do with colors.
Based on the Herrmann Brain Dominance Model (a comprehensive model to understand how people think, believe and behave), Bill Stierle recently provided a powerful training in South Florida that forever changed the participants’ perspectives about how to succeed in relationships. Using a simple set of checklist items, each of us was able to determine what our predominant personality style is like – our needs, preferences, basic learning style, frustrations and annoyances, what we appreciate, and the way we want to be treated. And then we selected our second and third styles. The remaining 4th style, for most of us, was the aspect we tend to avoid and are not very skilled at being and doing.
Most of us seem to have one style or two styles that predominate, yet there are some people, notably CEO’s and Cab Drivers, who tend to have personalities balanced among all 4 personality types. In our intimate relationships as well as our business, friendship and family relationships, many of us get along just fine with those who are most similar to us but we run into communication snags with opposite personality types.
How well you know your own personality type and that of the people you spend time interacting with, the smoother and more mutually beneficial will your communications be. Once you learn this simple yet profound key to different personality types, you will wonder how you ever got along without knowing this. You will never look at other people quite the same way again.
Based upon this limited information, some of you will immediately recognize yourself and the people who are close to you (your spouse, parents, children, friends, co-workers). But the key to using this system is to know the different types so well that you can meet a total stranger and understand that person’s needs, desires and how to best communicate with him or her to achieve the best outcome for both.
Which color describes you best? It begins by discovering what is the first and most important question you ask in most situations?
- Asks: “What?”
- Analyzer: Analyzes facts, uses logic, rational approach
- Frustrated by: Excessive chatter, illogical content, too much flexibility, unable to challenge
- Wants: Precise facts
- Reacts: Unemotionally
- Appreciates: Good debate, good analysis, wise use of time
- Asks: “How?”
- Organizer: Acquires skills through practice, evaluates and tests theories, likes structured sequences
- Frustrated by: Unstructured and unpredictable events, out of control atmosphere, incomplete sentences
- Wants: Neatness and punctuality
- Reacts: Cautiously
- Appreciates: Very low risk, scheduled appointment
- Asks: “Who?”
- Personalizer: Listens and shares ideas, emotional, feeling, experiential
- Frustrated by: Impersonal approach, lack of eye contact, no sensory input, no team or shared experience
- Wants: To feel enthusiastic
- Reacts: Spontaneously
- Appreciates: Sensitivity to feelings and harmonious approach
- Asks: “Why?”
- Visualizer: Takes initiative, explores hidden possibilities, constructs and synthesizes content
- Frustrated by: Overly structured and predictable, no overview, no connection to other approaches
- Wants: Freedom to explore, long-term objectives, metaphors, idea chunks, conceptual framework
- Reacts: By thinking about it
- Appreciates: newness, fun, minimal details, initiative, and imagination
Spend some time reviewing this by yourself and with someone who knows you well. If you understand your own automatic response style and you know what another person wants, appreciates and feels frustrated by, you can begin to create magical relationship moments with ease.
Call me now to build the best relationships you can imagine.