"Young African American couple in love"

Own Your Power Principle No. 14 by Simone Kelly

Balance the Scales of Love:

When giving and receiving love,  keep in mind how important it is to reciprocate.   Are you a giver or a taker?  Try your best at being both. If you are more of one than the other you will drain yourself or the one giving love to you. Compromise and strive for a 50/50 love!

In my Circle of Power Coaching Group last night we talked about ATTRACTING  RELATIONSHIPS THAT ROCK YOUR WORLD! We had a blast and some rude awakenings examining our relationships that touch our lives everyday — from lovers, friends, and family.

LETS FACE IT…It’s hard work to keep relationships in a good place. When relationships rock your world…all is right in the universe!  We are on a euphoric high. The sky is bluer, the air is fresher, and everyone is just so friendly and beautiful!  You must know that the extra pep in your step doesn’t always last forever on its own, you have to strive to work at it. The key is to pay attention to how you can balance the scales of love.

Here are some tips on how you can do this:

1.  See a Person For Who They REALLY Are: Yes, many of us have a special talent in always finding the good in others and recognizing their ‘POTENTIAL’  and of course it’s a nice trait to possess. My hat is off to ya for seeing the brighter side of things! LOL  However, sometimes we have to take off the rose-colored glasses and realize that potential isn’t enough.  I repeat..POTENTIAL ISN’T ENOUGH. I’m sorry to say, you can’t change, shape or mold everyone into the amazing human being you see them as ten years down the line. Especially, when the person doesn’t see a NEED for change.  So, remember in ALL of your relationships, you just have to accept people as they are sometimes, love them from a distance, or move on if need be.

“When People Show You Who They Are, BELIEVE THEM.” Maya Angelo

2. It FEELS Soooooo Good To Receive: Yes, you nurturing Mother Theresa’s and Suzy-Save-‘Em Alls know you need to listen up!  You don’t always have to GIVE. One of my clients mentioned that now she realizes that her pattern is picking up the “wounded lost puppy” for a boyfriend that possibly with her love and guidance- can be ‘patched up and made better’.  (See Number 1)

She would give her all, cater to his every need, even loan him money when he needed it. However, he didn’t do anything in return but –oh wait, be the pampered boyfriend! Oooh weeee! Yeah, that’s the ticket.

Sometimes, in these one-sided relationships , “Mother Theresa” can turn into a women scorned…you know that chick from Fatal Attraction? ~shivers~ The one filled with anger and resentment for giving so much and hoping that one day that wounded puppy would finally turn into the man she worked so hard to ‘fix’.  Ouch…some of you felt that, I know. Hey, I’ve been there too. Trust me on this. LOL Oh, not the Fatal Attraction Part. Let me clean that up!

REMEMBER…you teach people how to treat you. What lesson do you want to teach this semester of your life? I doubt it’s HOW TO BE A DOORMAT 101,  right? So, pay attention to what you allow in your world!

MANY OF US ARE WHERE WE ARE BECAUSE A PART OF US THINKS WE DESERVE IT. The more happiness we allow into our lives –the more we believe we deserve!  Start believing!!

3. Speak Up!: Don’t be afraid to share how you feel. Is the relationship feeling one-sided? Again, this isn’t just lovers I’m talking about. Maybe you have a friend that you always give, give and give to and then when you need a helping hand he’s never there to reciprocate. You will keep getting what you don’t want if you don’t create some boundaries.

4. Show Appreciation: Let’s say you might be the one  ALWAYS on the receiving end and maybe not acknowledging just how good you feel or how grateful you are. Now’s your chance to not just tell them, but show them. Do something special for this person to put a smile on their face. A gift, card, letter, a special song and dance…get creative. Ha!


5. Pay Attention to Your Attraction Power

What are you a magnet for? What do you keep getting over and over again THAT YOU DON’T WANT? MIND YOUR WORDS PEOPLE!

If you continue to say:

“Oh, she just wants my money like most of these women. Many of them are lazy, they can’t cook, clean and are just gold diggers.”

Guess what fellas, YOU JUST PUT A SUGAR DADDY STAMP ON YOUR HEAD and you will get more of those lovely ladies.


“Roberto was such a cheating dirt bag! I’m so tired of dealing with men like him. They all are dogs. There are no good men left!”

Guess what ladies, you just became the OFFICIAL DOG CATCHER of 2011!


“Teenagers are lazy! My kid never does anything I ask!

Guess what Mommy? You have some more socks and dirty underwear to pick up in the living room.

You get the point now, huh? LOL Mind your words and your thoughts. The louder you shout no, the more powerful your attraction. Spend time focusing on the relationship you want now. Act as if you are IN IT NOW. Dream, think, and write about it in your journal as if it’s already yours and you might surprise yourself at the 50/50 love you’ll  manifest.

I think Teddy Pendergrass said it best in his song, When Somebody Loves You Back…Who knew I’d ever be quoting Teddy Pendergrass? LOL

“Not 70/30, Not 60/40, Talkin’ ’bout A 50/50 Love”

Listen here for a nice trip down memory lane. I know you’ll be humming this all day, so enjoy!

Please share what you think about this post …Is there anything here that has worked for you or that you would like to add? If you’d like to find out more about my coaching group, go here. We’d love to have you! It’s open to MEN and Women! www.ownyourpower.biz/circle


Certified Law of Attraction Master Life Coach & Holistic Business Coach, Simone Kelly is the passionate visionary behind Own Your Power Communications. She encourages you to own your business and pursue a holistic lifestyle. Check out the Own Your Power community out and connect with like-minds here: ownyourpowerlifestyle.com