Part Three by Kathleen McIntire and Erin Cote

Truly loving another means letting go of all expectations. It means full acceptance, even celebration of another’s personhood. Karen Kasey

• Ask yourself “Am I married to the right person…or am I just married?”

• State your intention. Do you intend to stay married and make it work? Then do what it takes to make it happen…or get a divorce.

• End the blame game. If you’re blaming your partner for your unhappiness, you’re denying your own power. We can’t control what others do, but we can control how we respond to it and whether or not we’ll continue to live with it.

• Tell the truth about something you’ve been stewing over. Tell it gently and lovingly, expressing what took place and how you feel: angry or sad or betrayed or conflicted. Make it an “I” statement versus a “You” statement. Own your feelings, they are yours. Then offer a suggestion on how to make the situation work for the both of you. This will turn the focus on a solution and keep you both from getting stuck on the problem.

• Rock the boat. It can be good to upset the status quo in your relationship—especially if the status quo is causing seething resentment. Go where you want to go on vacation for a change…or plan an outing with girlfriends on his “golf day”….or paint your office the shade of green that he dislikes (but that you love). Let the chips fall where they may.

• Are you letting your partner live an authentic life? If you’re doing something to manipulate or control him or her, it’s time to stop. When people are allowed to be who they are, they often blossom.

• It’s usually a mistake to expect people to change lifelong habits that you don’t like. They won’t. And anyway, who are you to insist they change to please you?

• It’s not about winning. As the old saying goes, Would you rather be right or be happy?

• Have you ever heard it said, “Don’t fight force with force”? It’s a MARTIAL arts principle that can also be a MARITAL arts principle! Sometimes yielding, or flowing around the barrier like a river, is the best way to get what you need.

• Seize every opportunity to say, “I love you.” One day it will be your last chance.


About the Authors:

Kathleen McIntire is a transformational teacher, speaker, and healer who is dedicated to bringing forth truth, liberation, and awakening. She is the author and creator of Guiding Signs 101, a set of divination cards and guidebook using everyday road signs to tap into your intuition and own inner guidance.

Kathleen is the producer of two upcoming Mayan films. The first, Mayan Renaissance, is being made by PeaceJam, an international education program for youth built around leading Nobel Peace Laureates. The other film is The Unification of Wisdom and 2012. In the near future she will be a presenter on the Womens Empowerment (WE) Channel on the CANDO Networks. Kathleen’s website addresses are and

Erin Cote has been involved in creative design for over a decade. Her main focus is on bringing humor and playfulness to professional environments. Through Laughter Therapy she teaches others about the importance of play and laughter. As the founder of ULaugh, Erin conducts laughter presentations and workshops in Northern California for the public, businesses, and hospitals.

Together, Erin and Kathleen bring their talents of wisdom, design, and playfulness into the creation of Guiding Signs 101. Erin can be contacted through her website at: or through

In Part Four the Authors Share  tips to Authentic Parenting