Try Love! by Maria Mar
At the core of our being, there are two basic and opposite emotions: love and fear. Feed one and you starve the other. It’s no wonder then, that when you attach yourself to fear, you find it very difficult to do what you love.
There are five basic fears that grab a hold of a woman, thwarting her Dreams.
Fear of rejection: They’ll say no. They will reject me. They will stop loving me. They won’t buy from me. If I am a success, no one will love me. I’ll have to leave my friends behind.
Fear of failure: I’ll do it wrong. I’ll fail. I’ll lose faith.
Fear of ridicule: They’ll laugh at me. They’ll find out that I’m a fake.
Fear of disappointment: I’ll find out that it can’t be done and then I won’t have a Dream.
Fear of being bad: I’m being selfish. I’m thinking only of myself. I’m a bad mother.
If you look at these five fears, they can be boiled down to “fear of losing love.” In essence, we are pitting love against power and Self against others. This tears us apart. Here’s the irony. You are crippling your ability to do what you love for fear of losing love.
If this doesn’t make sense to you, then the only alternative you have is to STARVE your fear and FEED your love every day, in every step you take. Let’s see how Corazón Tierra, an expert in health body esteem and self-esteem, managed this Emotional Alchemy.
“If you had asked me what stopped me from doing what I wanted some time ago, I’d been upset,” Corazón said with a big smile. “I would have told you that sending news releases and spending hours in social media is NOT what I wanted to do!”
“So what do you want to do?” I asked, surprised at this twist of events. When I pursued my interviews about what stopped women from doing what they want to do, I had not expected to be looking at what women DO NOT want to do.
“I want to achieve prosperity from my business, which allows me to make a living from my writings and performances, which is what makes me happy,” Corazón clarified.
While you may WANT to achieve prosperity or recognition, if you are afraid of assuming your power or expressing your true self publically, then you may not want to do the actions that serve as building blocks to construct your Dream.
I’ve worked with creative, brilliant, powerful women, some of whom are great leaders. Yet, they resisted –and in some cases forfeited—their Dreams because they were not willing to DO what it took in order to do what they wanted.
How can that happen? It is not for lack of skills, as these female leaders where empowering others to do what they wanted.
“Yes, I wanted to make money from my talent,” says Corazón Tierra. “But no, I did not want to make myself visible. I had visibility issues. So I resisted sending news releases and contacting potential strategic partners. I kept telling myself that I didn’t want, need or had time to do this. I was doing what I wanted: writing and performing. But my Dream was not just doing this. My Dream was to create abundance from this. Therefore, I was sabotaging myself because of my fear of visibility. I kept procrastinating the actions I needed to take until I addressed the real issues behind my resistance.”
At that point in her business start-up, Corazón stopped feeding her fear and began to shift her attention to the love and the joy of moving closer to her dream.
“I began to see every task I did towards my Dream as an adventure,” Corazón shares. “‘Today I’ll have the adventure of meeting three new people,’ I would tell myself. I love to travel, so I saw these tasks as traveling adventures. It made a big difference because I released a lot of the anxiety and let go of negative expectations. The Unknown became playful, a traveling surprise, instead of a hostile possibility.”
“Once I stopped saying ‘I don’t want to do this’ and started seeing and feeling myself among those highly visible Latina experts,” Corazón Tierra reveals, “I found the resistance gone. News releases, network invitations and strategic business proposals are now a daily task that I do joyfully and easily because they are steps that take me where I want to be. In a period of a few months I have made partnerships that have increased my traffic hundreds of time and have placed me in the right places for more opportunities to come.”
Pop the balloon of your fear. See it for the mirage it is. Detach from negative thoughts and expectations. This is the way to starve your fear.
Sustain the love in your heart. See, enjoy and celebrate each step you take towards your Dream. This is the way to feed your love.
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