by Simone Kelly-Brown
“I only allow that which is good into my life. No one can depress you. No one can make you anxious. No one can hurt your feelings. No one can make you anything other than what you allow.” – Dr. Wayne Dye
Moody? Grouchy? Ready to snap in any minute towards the next person that asks you what’s wrong? Well, before you let ‘em have it, CHECK YOURSELF. Check in with what’s really bothering you and come up with another alternative, before you do or say something you’ll regret.
I find that many of us are so disconnected with ourselves we sometimes don’t even know why we’re so angry.
Many people have asked me, “Simone are you ever in a bad mood? You’re always so happy, you’re always smiling.” Well, for the most part that is true. I am a very happy person, because I CHOOSE to be. I try to let a lot of things roll off my back and not rub me the wrong way. I am happy for the most part but trust me, when I’m mad, ~cracking knuckles~ watch out. Let’s just say, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry. LOL In other words, it really takes a heck of a lot to make me lose it.
What I have been able to do most of the times, before I turn into the Incredible Hulk is to try to get a few moments of peace. I meditate, chant, pray, and journal….oh man, if I didn’t have my journal there would be a problem for all of y’all! Writing out my feelings whether good or bad is an amazing release.
One of the biggest cures for anger is catching yourself in the moment. Realizing that you do have the power to control yourself. If you can stop blaming others for “your feelings” you’ll see an instant turn around.
• You make me so angry!
• You drive me nuts!
• They get on my dang nerves!
• He makes me lose it!
• My co-workers piss me off!
• You @#$#$#%#%#$#$% (okay, this is a PG article-Just making sure you are paying attention. Hahah)
Pick one, I’m sure you’ve said one or two of these in your lifetime!
How you react to situations is the first step and taking responsibility for what you actually have control over. The fact of the matter is that some people unfortunately enjoy being miserable, they enjoy the lavish pity parties they put on for themselves – some complete with an orchestra of violin players or a depressing DJ with only sad slow jams, you take your pick.
These are the parties that I will gladly ditch, so please don’t invite me to yours! Granted, everyone has to vent every once in a while, but after you do so, dust yourself off and work on feeling good. Work on thinking about the positive motivators in your life. The things you have to be grateful for. Be conscious of the mood you are creating and intend to forgive and let it go. You know that Law of Attraction, what you focus on you get more of. What do you want your mind to be focused on?
Life doesn’t have to be hard. It doesn’t have to be a struggle. It’s a glorious journey when you walk each step of the way with a smile. Set your intentions for each day and embrace each lesson you face, no matter how challenging it may be.
So, before you lash out on your next helpless victim who probably doesn’t deserve your attack, take a moment and get clear on what’s really bothering you. Sometime you’ll realize its not because they left their toys in the way, or the tube off of the toothpaste. I’m sure it goes deeper then that! It might not come to you right away, but it will come with some soul searching exercises.
Anger Management Solutions
Below are some great strategies to use to get in touch with your feelings, release anger, and to reduce stress. Remember, anger and resentment transforms into REAL illness in your body.
You want to learn how to not carry around all that baggage with you to live a longer and healthier life.
1. SMILE: Yes, even when you’re angry. It actually works
It is hard to feel any negative emotion – bad, worried, overwhelmed, etc. – while grinning away!
2. Journal for FREE Therapy: Maybe you’ve been dying to tell someone off. Well, without starting World War III, I’d like to introduce you to your new BBF (Translation in kid slang: Best Friend Forever). Everyone needs a BFF. Get ready to share your inner and deepest thoughts with…your journal.
3. WRITE it out to let it ALL go: I’ve done many Letting Go workshops with women who have been hurt in the past to write a letter to that person. I encourage them to just go crazy with it. Tell them off, cuss, complain, whatever you want to do, just give it to them straight. Then read the letter and get clear that it’s now off your chest. The best part…tear up, flush it down the toilet, whatever works for you! LOL We burned them in a fireplace and it felt so freeing. (Disclaimer: I DON’T ADVISE YOU MAIL IT, UNLESS YOU WANT MORE DRAMA. IT’S FOR YOUR EYES ONLY!)
4.Meditate: Chill out and relive stress within one to 15 minutes.
Try these techniques and dive deep into your meditation minute makeover! If your mind wanders, it’s okay. Just try to bring it back to the task at hand. Be patient with yourself.
Practice one or all of these and you’ll get the greatest benefits of feeling grounded, calm and well, sane!
5. Balance Your Energy with Reiki: The art and techniques of Reiki help loosen and balance energy in your body. The energy of Reiki will bring a state of deep relaxation, promote healing, relieve stress and produces an overall sense of wellness. This treatment will leave you feeling peaceful and refreshed.
The technique is completely non-invasive. Transmitted through the hands, which are placed on or above the energy centers and meridians of your body, Reiki restores a sense of well-being and balance.
# Balances the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual body
# Remove emotional and energy blockages
If you’re in Florida, let me take care of you ☺
6. Walk Away: Tell the person you want to calm down and go for a walk away from them if possible. Learn how to step down and defuse the arguement. Walk away until you are calm enough to have a discussion without yelling. It’s hard, trust me I know, I’m married. lol No matter how much you love someone, you will have disagreements. But walking away does work. One of you have to be the bigger person and just let it go and stop fighting to prove who is right. Learn how to argue effectively.
7. Focus on What’s Working: It might be bad, but I guarantee you there is something working in your life right now. Make a LONG list of things that are working, what your grateful for and your mood will begin to shift. Nothing is too silly. Start with being grateful to be alive 🙂 The art of being grateful works wonders!
Are you ready to free yourself from the prison of anger? Ready to send those violin players packing and shut down your pity party? If you do, you are ready take back control of your life and OWN YOUR POWER. Never let anyone take control of your emotions. Always remember that no one can MAKE you angry, pissed, livid, upset etc… It’s up to you on how you deal with your emotions.
No one can make you angry. No one . . . that is, unless YOU let them.
Stay Tuned for PART TWO where we’ll cover more strategies. We’re going to get into holding grudges and resentment. We’ll cover especially how it can affect your health in the long run.
Holistic Business Coach, Simone Kelly Brown, the passionate visionary behind Own Your Power Communications, encourages you to own your business and pursue a holistic lifestyle. Check her community out and connect with like-minds here: http://www.ownyourpower.ning.com