By Cynthia Helwig
When it comes to romancing your man or keeping it alive, do you have all the right moves? Some people tend to be really good at, while others haven’t got a clue. As women, we love everything about it … being wined and dined by candlelight, cute little gifts and love notes left on our pillows and words of endearment whispered in our ears.
What about the men in our lives? Romance is just as important to them especially if you want that particular partner to stay in your life for much longer than a month or two. It doesn’t matter if you have just started dating, been in a relationship for a while and hoping it will end in a walk down the aisle or you’ve been married for a short while, decade or two. If you are uncertain, not to worry. There is hope. Keeping the romance alive in any relationship is key and to be quite honest, it isn’t always all about us.
1. Communication is Key
The #1 rule is listen! Men really do process information differently. What they hear and how they respond sometimes gets misconstrued. By listening to – and paying attention to – your sweetie’s wants, needs, and desires, you’ll gain a better understanding of what rocks his world. And if you don’t understand what he means, just plain outright ask him … don’t assume you know. Also, if your man mentions a particular book he’d like to read or an activity he’d enjoy doing, those are romantic cues for you to act on.
By simply paying attention to what’s going on in your man’s world, you’ll be that much closer to rocking your romantic life.
2. Make your Date a Priority
Contrary to popular belief, romance is NOT dead. In fact, the best way to introduce it into your next date is to take a look at your current list of priorities and possibly give it a subtle shift. For example, if you’re a busy working professional, it’s all too easy to put your career at the top of your list. Don’t live totally for your job. Relationships to work, need quality time.
However, by making your potential partner a priority, you show him just how thoughtful you really are. Examples might be: setting aside time during the day to talk on the phone, not bringing your Black Berry on your next date, and paying special attention to your date’s needs when you do spend time together. The simple act of being thoughtful can and will go a long way.
3. Spontaneity Rules
Men LOVE spontaneity. Try embracing it once and a while. They’re the kind of creatures who love it when we do things on the fly and let our hair down. So, go at it, do the unexpected! Grab and twirl your love to the beat of a street corner musician’s song. Show up on your date’s doorstep unannounced with a movie you know he’ll love, tickets to watch his favorite team even if you hate sports, pizza and his favorite six pack or bottle of wine. Scrap plans for a night on the town in favor of ordering takeout food when you’re both in need of some quality quiet time together. By embracing the art of spontaneity, you celebrate your inner romantic, not to mention rock your date’s world.
4. Laughter + Romance = a Great Date
Nothing brings two people closer together like that giddy kind or belly laughter. Introduce humor into the equation with a tickle wrestle. If your in doubt as to how, go see a funny play, movie, or comedy show. Afterward, you’ll have plenty to laugh and talk about. Plus, by lightening up, you just might stoke the romantic fires of your budding relationship.
5. True Romance is Priceless
Anyone with money can woo someone. But the right kind of romance doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg. If you have to stick to a budget , there are plenty of affordable and free ways to win over the man in your life. From tossing a frisbee in the park, going for a bike ride, get out those roller blades or taking a lesson to learn how, cooking a meal together is sexy, playing a board game to bring out the inner child … use your imagination. He’ll love that creative side.
6. Compliment, Compliment, Compliment!
When in doubt, a compliment goes a long way and yes, men like them too. It doesn’t have to be mushy either … better yet that it isn’t. Make it simple i.e. just letting them know how you love the smell of him, the way he touches you, how his smile makes you happy and you enjoy spending time with him. Tell him your proud of his accomplishments or you admire the kind of work that he does. The point is to make your compliment genuine and fitting in the moment.
7. Give your Date Plenty of Space
Don’t overkill. Men need space for themselves, to do some male bonding. Give him mega attention when you’re together, but give him his space when you’re apart. Of course, that doesn’t mean don’t call when you said you would (you know how it feels when that happens to you). You don’t need to talk 10 times a day. Breathing time is important, even when you’re married. Men are pursuers, they love the chase. Absence does make the heart grow fonder and when your time with your mate is creative, fun, playful and sensual …. believe you me, he’ll be thinking of you when you’re not together. 24/7 isn’t good for any one. Don’t be a clingy vine and a needy woman. It’s a definite turn off.
8. Master the art of Mood, Location, and Ambiance
Creating a setting lies in the subtle details. Being a master at creating a sultry mood in the perfect location, surrounded by all the right details will definitely heighten his interest and attention. Remember though, romance should never be generic meaning, what works for your closest girl friend and her man, may not excite your partner. It’s key to know your man’s turn-ons, his likes and dislikes and incorporate them into your romantic plans. If he’s a Yankee fan, go out and purchase an over-sized jersey to greet him at the door with only your silky legs exposed and a cute pedicure. If he loves Italian, cook him his favorite dish and play soft Italian love songs to set the mood and burn tapered candles in an empty wine bottle. Use your imagination.
9. Practice makes Perfect
“If at first you don’t succeed, don’t give up!” Life creates roadblocks all the time. It’s life !!!! Everything we do perfectly needed practice to get us there … so does romance. Try new things. If they work, great! If they don’t, laugh about it because he will truly appreciate the effort.
10. Keep romance Alive
Once you’ve captured the prize HIM, the romance doesn’t stop there. A real, healthy relationship doesn’t allow for romance to die. It’s a flame that always needs to be rekindled. Men need it. It’s part of their DNA. We call it romance, they call it sex. Regardless, all of the key elements above are just as important for them as they are for you. Sadly, most of the time we have to be the initiator. If he was worthy enough to capture and win your heart, he’s worthy enough to work hard at keeping him interested. It’s constant work and you owe it to you and your partner to try and keep the spark alive. If children are involved it’s understandable, HOWEVER, you started this journey together alone and being a couple comes first. Once the children grow, become independent, they leave. Give your man his due and he will never look elsewhere.
Following the 10 tips above will rock your world and his for a very long time and keep the fairytale alive.
By Cynthia Helwig, Founder ~ The Girlz Korner
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