Woman on a Mission to Help Women and Children Through Divorce
Meet Joanie Winberg CEO/Founder of the non-profit Happy Wednesday Foundation and the National Association of Divorce for Women and Children in Lakeville, MA USA
1. Tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do professionally.
Having been a single mom for 14 years, I found it frustrating after my divorce to not have the kind of support needed to move my life forward such as tools and life skills to be the best I could be for myself and my children.
That is why I became certified as a business/personal coach specializing in divorce. I also started the non-profit Happy Wednesday Foundation and the National Association of Divorce for Women and Children. The mission is to provide mentoring programs to empower women to regain their confidence, build self-esteem and create a foundation of life skills to enhance the quality of life for themselves and their children.
2. What do you enjoy most about your profession and why did you choose it in the first place?
Everything! I enjoy mentoring women through the 12 week teleclass Single Again! Now What? Mentoring Program and also as the host of our R & R Day Retreats for underserved women.
3. Tell us about the organizations your company supports and why?
Our foundation works with organizations, associations and non-profits that support women from all economic lines and ethnic groups that have experienced challenges such as a catastrophic illness, domestic violence, homelessness, being single again and women with children of addiction.
4. What is the biggest risk you ever took professionally and/or the biggest obstacle you have overcome?
In 1981, my husband at the time and I opened a True Value Hardware store. We had to sell everything we owned to finance the business. We moved in with my mother-in-law because we couldn’t afford to pay rent. Plus, I just had a baby. I am no longer a part of the business, but the business is still going strong today.
5. From where do you draw inspiration? Who have been your role models, mentors, etc?
My children are my inspiration who are now 28 and 25 years old. My coach that I worked with for several years is my role model and mentor.
6. How is the current economic situation affecting your company/organization?
With the current economic situation women need support more than ever. For example there are 3.1 million single parents in the U.S. and 84% are women.
7. What one thing would you like to learn this year?
To continue to learn to be patient, to let go and trust knowing that everything happens for a reason and at just the right time.
8. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
I see my foundation supporting thousands of single moms and underserved women through our programs and R & R Day Retreats.
9. What do you do for fun/relaxation/entertainment?
Gardening and taking walks. Sharing special times with family and friends.
10. Is there anything else you would like to share with our readers?
I believe that giving back is what it’s all about!
Which, if any social networking sites do you belong to (feel free to include links)?
Twitter- afterdivorce
Facebook- JoanieWinberg
For more information, visit: www.HappyWednesdayFoundation.org and www.NADWC.org
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Asa psychotherapist I offer this advice to my clients experiencing divorce.
Children, Divorce & the Holidays: Reducing Stress
1. Money, gifts, sweets and indulging don’t “make up” for anything. Your child is going to have TWO Christmases. No need to feel guilty. Most kids say the dual holidays are the best thing about being a divorced kid.
2. If possible, make your plans with your ex-spouse ahead of time and stick to them. Let the kids know where they will be and when. It helps them feel in control. Let them make only age appropriate decisions. A good rule of thumb: if it is not a decision you would let your children make while you were married, then don’t let them make it now. Let your kids be kids.
3. Be flexible. No, this is not a contradiction of #2. It means that S—T happens. So if your ex is two hours late because of an ice storm or because cousin Joey showed up late, try to let it go.
4. Keep your anger, resentment, annoyance, disgust about your ex, his sports car, his girlfriend, his family, to yourself. Remember, your kids are part of both of you and when you slam him, your child feels slammed as well.
5. Do not make your children responsible for your happiness. “Go have a good time with Dad in Jamaica, while I sit here miserable and all alone,” only breeds resentment and guilt in your child.
6. Don’t compete. If he can afford more than you – fine. Rather than resenting his/her father, appreciate that your child can experience things you can’t buy him. Don’t overspend to keep up. Make memories by doing fun things together – bake cookies, read a Christmas story, build a snowman. Money does not buy love.
7. The new girlfriend/boyfriend cannot and will not take your place. Children are unbelievably loyal. They can love many people, but the title and honor of parent is yours and will be only yours, forever. Relax. Deal with your jealousy without making your kid responsible for your feeling threatened. This is simply not the job of the child.
8. Divorce is the severing of the adult relationship and should not be the termination of the parent-child relationship, no matter how much you really can’t stand him/her. If your child is not in harm’s way, the relationship needs to continue. This is the CHILD’s right. If you really feel the child is in danger, then get a lawyer, prove it and have supervised visitation. Never keep a child from being with a parent based on your own feelings!
9. Lastly, remember that you are the adult. Suck up your anger toward your ex and make the holidays wonderful for your kids.
Adapted from Ex-Wife to Exceptional Life: A Woman’s Journey through Divorce
© Donna F. Ferber, LPC, LADC 2005, 2009.