Expert Calls for ‘Economic Disobedience’

The national mood remains anxious, worried. We have millions of Americans out of work, many of them Baby Boomers who’ve seen what they worked for these past 30 years disappear: a predictable career, financial security, home equity, retirement savings. The foundation they’ve worked so hard to build seems to have collapsed before their very eyes.

“They feel lost. They see hedge-funders and investment bankers as having hijacked the American Dream from the middle class,” says Peter Weddle, former CEO of Job Bank USA, Inc., and author of A Multitude of Hope: A Novel About Rediscovering the American Dream (www.AMultitudeofHope.com).

“Boomers – and all working Americans, for that matter – feel as if all of the opportunity has been sucked out of the land of opportunity, and they don’t know how or even if they can succeed in this changed world.”

But America is still the leader of the global economy and its future is as bright as it ever was, Weddle says. Why? Because Americans are individually prone to innovation and creativity, and collectively, the most diverse pool of workers in the world, he says.

“For all the unresolved immigration issues we have in the United States, we still have the best workforce on the planet. Our diversity gives us a huge advantage over the competition in the global economy,” Weddle says. “We have every kind of talent the world has to offer, while other countries such as China, India and Japan have very homogenous cultures so everyone basically brings the same talent to the table.”

That talent, however, is being wasted. The U.S. workplace has become an investor-driven market, a place where workers are treated as disposable cogs who are costs to be minimized rather than capabilities to be maximized on-the-job, Weddle says. The only way out, therefore, is something he calls “economic disobedience.” If every American stands up and demands their right to be employed as a person of talent – and if they then elevate that talent and bring it to work with them – they can reclaim the American Dream, Weddle says.

He sees Baby Boomers already beginning to do this. The number of 50- to 64-year-olds enrolled in college jumped 17 percent from 2007 to 2009, according to the National Center for Education Statistics.

“These are the people who see this time as a moment of liberation – a chance to reinvigorate their talent so they can perform at their peak on-the-job,” Weddle says. “And that self-reliance and individual determination is how our country will recapture its mojo.”

A national human resources expert, Weddle says people don’t necessarily have to go back to school or reinvent themselves. But they do need to identify their talent – their innate capacity for excellence – and take a proactive approach to integrating it into their career.

“It may be a gift for getting things organized, for resolving conflicts, for explaining complex topics in simple terms,” he says. “Every single one of us has a talent and when we apply it at work, our job satisfaction – and our pay – goes up.

“Instead of work being a four-letter word, it becomes something to get excited about and to feel good about. We rekindle our self-confidence, self-respect and determination and we produce an economic revolution that restores democratic capitalism.”

Peter Weddle, a former recruiter and human resource consultant, is the CEO of the International Association of Employment Web Sites, a trade organization. He has written or edited more than two dozen non-fiction books regarding careers and employment; “A Multitude of Hope” is his first work of fiction. Weddle is the founder and former CEO of Job Bank USA, Inc., one of the largest electronic employment services companies in the United States.

Money Expert Shares the Advice He Follows

Financial how-to books come and go – they’re published by the hundreds every year. But Peter Grandich, dubbed “The Wall Street Whiz Kid” by Good Morning America’s Steve Crowley, says the one he relies on has been around for nearly 2,000 years.

“I get my financial guidance from the Bible,” says Grandich, author of Confessions of a Wall Street Whiz Kid (www.confessionsofawallstreetwhizkid.com). “Money and possessions are the second most referenced topic in the Bible – money is mentioned more than 800 times – and the message is clear: Nowhere in Scripture is debt viewed in a positive way.”

Grandich, who says his years as a highly successful Wall Street stockbroker left him spiritually depleted and clinically depressed, says the Bible is an excellent financial adviser, whether or not you’re religious.

“The writers of the Bible anticipated the problems we would have with money and possessions; there are more than 2,000 references,” he says. “Our whole culture now is built on the premise that we have to have more money and more stuff to feel happy and secure. Public storage is the poster child for what’s wrong with America. We have too much stuff because we’ve bought into the myth fabricated by Wall Street and Madison Avenue that more stuff equals more happiness.” He adds, “That’s the total opposite of the truth, and the opposite of what it says in The Bible.”

What’s Grandich’s No. 1 most important biblical rule of finance? “God owns everything. You may have bought that house, but He gave you the money to buy it, so it’s His.”

Some other lessons from the ultimate financial guide?

• Do put money aside for investing: “One of the most revealing parables is Jesus’ story about a wealthy master who left three servants in charge of his financial affairs when he went away on a long journey,” Grandich says. “When he returned, two of the servants had multiplied the coins for which they were responsible. The third buried his to keep it safe.” That last servant ended up out on his ear. The story is a lesson: We must invest our money – and invest wisely.

• Debt’s not prohibited, but it should be avoided: The Bible clearly warns that the borrower will be a servant to the lender, but it also instructs us to lend money. That suggests that there are times when it’s OK to borrow, but it should not become a way of life. The Bible also instructs us to repay what we’ve borrowed.

• The more you make, the more you should give. This is a hard one for people caught up in buying bigger and better things, but there are numerous references to charitable giving. The Bible says that it’s quite all right to buy the bigger house – but the more you make and spend on yourself, the more you need to give to others. That doesn’t include tithing, another very clear demand: God expects you to give 10 percent of your wealth to your place of worship.

• Don’t focus on acquiring possessions. There are many, many warnings that accumulating stuff is dangerous. Material things are fleeting and they’ll do you no good in the long run. What you put your effort into, that’s where your heart will be, Grandich says.

About Peter Grandich

Peter Grandich became renowned in the financial industry when he predicted market crashes and rebounds in The Grandich Letter, a newsletter he created in 1984. It’s currently a blog featuring his commentary on the world’s economies and financial markets as well as social and political topics. Grandich is co-founder, with former New York Giants player Lee Rouson, of Trinity Financial Sports & Entertainment Management Co., a firm that specializes in offering guidance from a Christian perspective to professional athletes and celebrities.

Expert Offers Tips for Taking Charge of Your Life

The memes for the current economic recession have been “income inequality” and “the 99 percent versus the 1 percent” as the 106 million Americans earning $45,000 or less each year feel the most pain from job loss, foreclosure, underwater mortgages and inflation.

Some say the solution is for the government to redistribute the wealth, perhaps by taxing the top money-makers at a higher rate. Real estate businessman Trevor Bolin, author of Take Charge and Change Your Life Today (www.bolininternational.com), says there’s a better way and it’s one that will make more people happier – and wealthier.

“I went from the bottom 10 percent at age 17 to the top 2 percent at 28 by making some changes in my life,” says Bolin, who owns three realty companies in British Columbia.

“The system is very simple, but not all of the steps are easy. It requires self-discipline and changing bad habits, but it’s all possible if you follow the steps. And I promise, following through on just one will dramatically affect your life.”

Some of Bolin’s strategies:

• Commit. Vow right now that you will follow through 100 percent on every step you take toward changing your life, whether it’s making more money, losing weight or becoming a better parent. Commit to succeeding, not just surviving. Know that luck has nothing to do with it – it’s hard work, attitude and giving back. Committing 100 percent means that, if you decide to read a book on investing, you won’t quit after three chapters. If your goal is to drop 20 pounds, don’t stop after 10.

• Change your attitude. Just as negative thoughts have the power to negatively affect outcomes, so do positive thoughts. Start each day with positive thoughts, and change negative thoughts to positive ones throughout the day. This may be hard at first, but the more you work at it, the easier it gets. Rather than wake up cursing the rainy day, be grateful for it. Water is one of our most valuable natural resources, and rain is cleansing. Remind yourself each morning of all the good things in your life – your health, your home, your spouse. Tell yourself that your meeting today is going to be engaging and productive, or your job interview is going to go well.

• Figure out your “Y.” Your Y is your reason for everything. It’s shaped by the past, formatted for the present and goal-formatted for the future. It’s reflected in every decision you make. If you don’t know your Y, your decisions will be made on the basis of habit, what you learned growing up, and what your immediate needs are. But if you’ve decided your Y is that you want the peace and security of financial success, you’ll be guided by that every time you make a choice.

• Set goals. On a piece of paper write down all of your goals, short-term and long-term. Next, number them 1, 3, 5, 10 or 20 based on how many years it should take to achieve them. Losing 20 pounds? That might be a 1. Buying a new car? That could be a 3. Now, take your top five 1 goals and write down why you want them and how you plan to achieve them. Do the same thing for each set of goals. Having goals is vital and keeping them in front of you will help keep you on track toward achieving them. Most important – be sure to cross each one off as you achieve it. Take it from me, there’s no better feeling.

Paying yourself first – saving a portion of every check – and giving back to society, whether through service or philanthropy, are also key to Bolin’s roadmap for changing your life.

“It’s all about having a plan,” he says. “You can create success as long as you’re putting a plan into motion.”

Trevor Bolin owns three realty companies in British Columbia, including one in his hometown of Fort St. John, which was named the No. 1 RE/MAX small-density office in the world. He’s also chairman of Bolin & Co. International Training, which offers coaching and seminars for business people. He has served three terms on the Fort St. John City Council.

Now, after 25 years and two debilitating bouts of clinical depression, Peter Grandich, author of Confessions of a Wall Street Whiz Kid,  says Americans’ market-driven fixation on amassing a fortune is driving us crazy.

“The fight to keep up with the Joneses is leading to more people with intolerable levels of anxiety and stress, which contribute to serious mental health problems,” says Grandich, who runs Trinity Financial Sports & Entertainment Management Co., a firm that specializes in offering professional athletes, celebrities and the general public estate planning from a Christian perspective.

A January Gallup poll found Americans at their highest money stress levels in 10 years, with 51 percent worried about maintaining their standard of living.

“Our whole culture now is built on the premise that we have to have more money and more stuff to feel happy and secure,” he says. “Public storage is the poster child for what’s wrong with America. We have too much stuff because we’ve bought into the myth fabricated by Wall Street and Madison Avenue, which rely on millions of people driven to make more money so they can profit from this insane quest.”

Grandich was one of those people, he says. He loved making money, making more, and spending it. By his mid-30s, he was a multi-millionaire suffering his first disabling panic attacks. Looking back, he says, part of the problem was a life out of balance.

“My priorities were, No. 1, me, my reputation and my ego, and then my wife and our daughter,” he says. “There was not much else.”

Everything rode on how he did in the market, and when that wavered, Grandich grew increasingly anxious. Within a year of his first panic attack, bouts of crippling anxiety and hopelessness rooted as a deep and pervasive depression. Twice, he came to the point of attempting suicide.

In 1995, Grandich left the professional money management and brokerage business, but it took him several more years to find his way back to enjoying his life. He wants to warn others caught up in the money chase, and to offer hope to the one in 10 Americans who suffer depression.

He offers this guidance from his own experience:

• Anybody who has suffered depression more than once is at risk to go through it again. Grandich says he learned he is genetically predisposed to clinical depression because of his family history. “Be prepared to understand that it will always be with you,” he says. “It’s medically driven due to chemical imbalances in the brain.”

• Get professional help. Without medical help you have no chance. “For me, it was talk therapy and pharmaceutical intervention to flip that chemical switch in my brain,” Grandich says. “You can’t just ‘snap out of it’ because you don’t think rationally.”

• It’s not a sign of weakness and nothing to be ashamed about. With men especially, the “macho thing” gets in the way of seeking help, Grandich notes. It’s not something that can be fixed with will power or that you can just snap out of; the brain is injured.

• Get seriously reacquainted with your Creator. Grandich grew up without religion and became a Catholic simply to marry his wife. He had no spiritual anchor and his relationship to God was “the occasional 9-1-1call.” He has found comfort in recognizing that there is “someone bigger than me” in control and in having rules that make sense for governing his life. When friends ask, “What if it turns out there really is no God and no afterlife?” he says, “It’s still a better way to live.”

Grandich says he’s grateful for the revelations he experienced, and that he found a way out of the painful darkness.

“I’m satisfied it happened for a reason, and not to use my experience to help others would be unfair,” he says. “The blessing for me is, I’ve been shown the mess I was. There are still a lot of people out there who don’t yet realize that, if money is their god, they’re headed for a lot of suffering.”

Peter Grandich became renowned in the financial industry when he predicted market crashes and rebounds in The Grandich Letter, a newsletter he created in 1984. It’s currently a blog featuring his commentary on the world’s economies and financial markets as well as social and political topics. Grandich is co-founder, with former New York Giants player Lee Rouson, of Trinity Financial Sports & Entertainment Management Co., a firm that specializes in offering guidance from a Christian perspective to professional athletes and celebrities.

Expert Offers Tips for Taking Charge of Your Life

The memes for the current economic recession have been “income inequality” and “the 99 percent versus the 1 percent” as the 106 million Americans earning $45,000 or less each year feel the most pain from job loss, foreclosure, underwater mortgages and inflation.

Some say the solution is for the government to redistribute the wealth, perhaps by taxing the top money-makers at a higher rate. Real estate businessman Trevor Bolin, author of Take Charge and Change Your Life Today (www.bolininternational.com), says there’s a better way and it’s one that will make more people happier – and wealthier.

“I went from the bottom 10 percent at age 17 to the top 2 percent at 28 by making some changes in my life,” says Bolin, who owns three realty companies in British Columbia.

“The system is very simple, but not all of the steps are easy. It requires self-discipline and changing bad habits, but it’s all possible if you follow the steps. And I promise, following through on just one will dramatically affect your life.”

Some of Bolin’s strategies:

• Commit. Vow right now that you will follow through 100 percent on every step you take toward changing your life, whether it’s making more money, losing weight or becoming a better parent. Commit to succeeding, not just surviving. Know that luck has nothing to do with it – it’s hard work, attitude and giving back. Committing 100 percent means that, if you decide to read a book on investing, you won’t quit after three chapters. If your goal is to drop 20 pounds, don’t stop after 10.

• Change your attitude. Just as negative thoughts have the power to negatively affect outcomes, so do positive thoughts. Start each day with positive thoughts, and change negative thoughts to positive ones throughout the day. This may be hard at first, but the more you work at it, the easier it gets. Rather than wake up cursing the rainy day, be grateful for it. Water is one of our most valuable natural resources, and rain is cleansing. Remind yourself each morning of all the good things in your life – your health, your home, your spouse. Tell yourself that your meeting today is going to be engaging and productive, or your job interview is going to go well.

• Figure out your “Y.” Your Y is your reason for everything. It’s shaped by the past, formatted for the present and goal-formatted for the future. It’s reflected in every decision you make. If you don’t know your Y, your decisions will be made on the basis of habit, what you learned growing up, and what your immediate needs are. But if you’ve decided your Y is that you want the peace and security of financial success, you’ll be guided by that every time you make a choice.

• Set goals. On a piece of paper write down all of your goals, short-term and long-term. Next, number them 1, 3, 5, 10 or 20 based on how many years it should take to achieve them. Losing 20 pounds? That might be a 1. Buying a new car? That could be a 3. Now, take your top five 1 goals and write down why you want them and how you plan to achieve them. Do the same thing for each set of goals. Having goals is vital and keeping them in front of you will help keep you on track toward achieving them. Most important – be sure to cross each one off as you achieve it. Take it from me, there’s no better feeling.

Paying yourself first – saving a portion of every check – and giving back to society, whether through service or philanthropy, are also key to Bolin’s roadmap for changing your life.

“It’s all about having a plan,” he says. “You can create success as long as you’re putting a plan into motion.”

Trevor Bolin owns three realty companies in British Columbia, including one in his hometown of Fort St. John, which was named the No. 1 RE/MAX small-density office in the world. He’s also chairman of Bolin & Co. International Training, which offers coaching and seminars for business people. He has served three terms on the Fort St. John City Council.

Stop Focusing on Money, Warns Financial ‘Whiz Kid

He was the 31-year-old stockbroker dubbed “The Wall Street Whiz Kid” by Good Morning America’s Steve Crowley for his uncanny knack of predicting market highs and lows.

Now, after 25 years and two debilitating bouts of clinical depression, Peter Grandich, author of Confessions of a Wall Street Whiz Kid,  says Americans’ market-driven fixation on amassing a fortune is driving us crazy.

“The fight to keep up with the Joneses is leading to more people with intolerable levels of anxiety and stress, which contribute to serious mental health problems,” says Grandich, who runs Trinity Financial Sports & Entertainment Management Co., a firm that specializes in offering professional athletes, celebrities and the general public estate planning from a Christian perspective.

A January Gallup poll found Americans at their highest money stress levels in 10 years, with 51 percent worried about maintaining their standard of living.

“Our whole culture now is built on the premise that we have to have more money and more stuff to feel happy and secure,” he says. “Public storage is the poster child for what’s wrong with America. We have too much stuff because we’ve bought into the myth fabricated by Wall Street and Madison Avenue, which rely on millions of people driven to make more money so they can profit from this insane quest.”

Grandich was one of those people, he says. He loved making money, making more, and spending it. By his mid-30s, he was a multi-millionaire suffering his first disabling panic attacks. Looking back, he says, part of the problem was a life out of balance.

“My priorities were, No. 1, me, my reputation and my ego, and then my wife and our daughter,” he says. “There was not much else.”

Everything rode on how he did in the market, and when that wavered, Grandich grew increasingly anxious. Within a year of his first panic attack, bouts of crippling anxiety and hopelessness rooted as a deep and pervasive depression. Twice, he came to the point of attempting suicide.

In 1995, Grandich left the professional money management and brokerage business, but it took him several more years to find his way back to enjoying his life. He wants to warn others caught up in the money chase, and to offer hope to the one in 10 Americans who suffer depression.

He offers this guidance from his own experience:

• Anybody who has suffered depression more than once is at risk to go through it again. Grandich says he learned he is genetically predisposed to clinical depression because of his family history. “Be prepared to understand that it will always be with you,” he says. “It’s medically driven due to chemical imbalances in the brain.”

• Get professional help. Without medical help you have no chance. “For me, it was talk therapy and pharmaceutical intervention to flip that chemical switch in my brain,” Grandich says. “You can’t just ‘snap out of it’ because you don’t think rationally.”

• It’s not a sign of weakness and nothing to be ashamed about. With men especially, the “macho thing” gets in the way of seeking help, Grandich notes. It’s not something that can be fixed with will power or that you can just snap out of; the brain is injured.

• Get seriously reacquainted with your Creator. Grandich grew up without religion and became a Catholic simply to marry his wife. He had no spiritual anchor and his relationship to God was “the occasional 9-1-1call.” He has found comfort in recognizing that there is “someone bigger than me” in control and in having rules that make sense for governing his life. When friends ask, “What if it turns out there really is no God and no afterlife?” he says, “It’s still a better way to live.”

Grandich says he’s grateful for the revelations he experienced, and that he found a way out of the painful darkness.

“I’m satisfied it happened for a reason, and not to use my experience to help others would be unfair,” he says. “The blessing for me is, I’ve been shown the mess I was. There are still a lot of people out there who don’t yet realize that, if money is their god, they’re headed for a lot of suffering.”

Peter Grandich became renowned in the financial industry when he predicted market crashes and rebounds in The Grandich Letter, a newsletter he created in 1984. It’s currently a blog featuring his commentary on the world’s economies and financial markets as well as social and political topics. Grandich is co-founder, with former New York Giants player Lee Rouson, of Trinity Financial Sports & Entertainment Management Co., a firm that specializes in offering guidance from a Christian perspective to professional athletes and celebrities.

Given that the 10 largest credit card issuers control nearly 80% of the market, any special Valentine’s Day promotions they offer would certainly help people get the most out of the money they spend in the name of love this year. Card Hub surveyed these issuers to find out whether there will be any such promotions, and you can find a list of the identified deals below:

• American Express: Amex has partnered with celebrity gifting expert Julie Kenney to create the American Express Platinum Card Concierge Gift Guide, a list of “unique and surprising gift ideas.” The Top 10 gift ideas are available to the public here, but the full guide is reserved for Platinum Cardmembers. Platinum Card Concierges will help with sourcing these gifts and making sure they’re delivered on time. All other Amex cardholders with Membership Rewards can get extra points on flowers and jewelry, and BlueNile through Amex’s online shopping mall.

• Barclays: On Valentine’s Day, Barclaycard US is launching a new set of merchant offers for its Rewards Boost program. This will allow cardholders to garner 4 points per $1 on Lancome purchases, 9 points per $1 on flower purchases, 3 points per $1 on Fragrance.net purchases, and 3 points per $1 spent though QVC.

• Capital One: From 2/1 to 2/14, cardholders will get 20 bonus miles on Flower purchases made online through Perk Central or over the phone.

• Chase: From 2/4 to 2/14, Chase Freedom cardholders get 20% off all purchases at RedEnvelope.com and a package of 20 sweetheart tulips, a teddy bear, chocolates, and a vase for only $29.99 (over 50% off). Consumers who have the Hyatt Credit Card in their wallets can buy room packages with Valentine’s Day themes, such as the Amour Package or the Love Lasts Package. Those with the Amazon.com credit cards can also get 20% off select jewelry and watches through February 14.

• Discover: Cardholders currently get 20% cash back on the following brands through ShopDiscover such as 1-800-Baskets, Wine Enthusiast and Restaurant.com (among others).

Card Hub CEO Odysseas Papadimitriou weighed in on these Valentine’s Day promotions: “It’s great to see credit card companies sharing the love, and any opportunity to save should be welcomed by consumers. People now have a number of ways to save, ranging from coupons and daily deals to discounted gift cards to traditional credit card rewards and special holiday promotions, and when combined strategically, these saving methods can equate to a lot more money staying in your wallet. The key is to use savings to save, not to buy more with the amount you originally budgeted for Valentine’s gifts. Being able to buy the $100 gift you originally planned to get for $50, for example, would be ideal, especially when you consider the rising credit card debt levels.”

For more information on the above, please visit: http://www.cardhub.com/edu/best-credit-cards-valentines-day/

… on the First Date

While you’re being wined, dined, and wooed this Valentine’s Day, don’t forget to quiz your new date on those topics that really matter. Most importantly, says author and financial advisor Leslie Greenman, find out if he has a healthy, balanced approach to money.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, romance is in the air. If you’re planning on going out with a new love interest this heart-filled holiday, remember that his good looks and winning personality aren’t all that matter. The blunt reality is that money is the #1 cause of divorce in the U.S. And when it comes to matters of not just the heart but money as well, there’s no better time than a first date to find out if your new guy cuts the proverbial mustard! After all, notes Leslie Greenman, you don’t want to become emotionally involved with someone who doesn’t have the same approach to money as you do.

“Dating is all about learning, and one of the most important things you need to know is if your date is good with his money,” says Greenman, a financial advisor and author of the new book Dating Our Money: A Women’s Guide to Confidence with Money & Men “While the first flush of romance can be a head-spinning experience, make sure you do your homework prior to giving your heart away. Forget about anyone who won’t meet you halfway with a healthy approach to money. Make sure he is getting on the right track if he hasn’t been before, and keep an eye out for telltale signs of slip-ups.”

So how do you find out whether your guy is money conscious, and better yet, how do you do so gracefully so early in the relationship? Below Greenman offers great tips on how to zoom in on your new date’s views on money management so that you can find the love of your life and keep your financial health:

Bring cash. Have cash with you on the date so when it is time to pay you can offer to cover your half with cash. While you’re offering to pay, mention to him that you don’t like to use credit cards and wait to see how he responds. You might be surprised at how he reacts.

“A date once told me that he wished his ex-wife had had the same philosophy with credit cards,” says Greenman.  “He told me she racked up $70,000 in credit card debt – money he was left paying back. That was a huge surprise! But it opened the door for me to find out more from him about his financial health without having to ask point blank.”

Check out his wheels. Is your date driving a flashy sports car, but you know he’s in the first job of his career? Is he driving a more modest set of wheels but you know he’s in a leadership position at work? The type of car he drives when taken into consideration with his career can be an indicator of how he spends and budgets his money. It might also indicate that he turns to material objects for fulfillment.

“We all hope at some point for a fairy tale complete with Prince Charming whisking us away in his carriage,” says Greenman. “Remember, though, you’re not marrying the guy’s sports car, and you certainly don’t want to wind up in a situation where you’re paying for it if he can’t.”

Ask about his relationship with his family. Often, he’ll give you the information you want without you having to pry. For example, he might reveal that his divorce from his wife resulted because of money issues. Or he might reveal that he was raised in a middle class family with frugal parents.

“While he might not necessarily still follow the money values and habits his parents raised him with, finding out about his parents is a great way to learn what his initial lessons about money entailed,” notes Greenman. “And naturally, awkward though it may be, finding out if he’s carrying around any financial baggage from a past relationship is a must. Remember, though, that if he is that doesn’t mean you have to give him the boot. It’s all about finding out if he approaches those financial bumps in the road in a fiscally responsible way.”

Find out if he is reluctant to discuss difficult subjects. The best approach might be to ask him about his past relationships. Did they end well? Does he still talk with any of his exes? If he is very reluctant to talk about his relationships, it could be a red flag that he won’t be able to communicate about difficult decisions if you’re in a relationship.

“Communicating, listening, and sharing are integral parts of a successful partnership,” advises Greenman. “Make sure this guy knows how to not only share his thoughts but also to listen to yours. Life is full of decisions and ups and downs; how has he handled his own past issues?”

Check out his phone. On average, people spend $150 on phone apps per year, but some people have bills as high as $900 per year. Is that a luxury you feel comfortable with? “Check out your date’s phone,” recommends Greenman. “Is it the latest, greatest smartphone model? Ask him what his favorite app is and whether he gets only free ones. If it appears he spends a lot of money each month on something as trivial as phone apps, consider how he might spend money in other areas. On the other hand, if he has an app that helps him manage his monthly budget, that’s probably a good sign!”

Go online. With all of the information available online, you can find out a lot about someone with a quick search. For example, you can check if a person has paid their property taxes by searching online public records.

“It may seem like playing a game of I Spy, but if you are going to give your heart to someone, and commit to a lifelong partnership, at the very least you need to be able to trust them,” says Greenman. “Before you even go on that first date, you might want to do some research. If you find a record online of his eight counts of tax evasion, go ahead and cancel your evening out!”

Look at his Facebook page. Has he posted a lot about expensive clothes or gadgets that he’s bought? Or about being low on money? Are the pictures he has posted of him with other people or with his stuff?

“Facebook is a great way to find out about your date’s life without ever having to ask an awkward question about money,” notes Greenman. “You want to be romantically involved with someone who not only has the time, but makes the time, to be with you and share your life. If this guy can only post pictures of himself on his Facebook page, or if he is constantly bragging about all the latest stuff he’s bought, picture a big red flag. It could be an indicator that either A) he’s overspending on unimportant items or B) he thinks he can use money to impress people or buy their love.”

Think about your deal breakers. “If your date has only one or two of these faults, you might still want to give him a chance and that’s okay,” notes Greenman. “Be clear about your own goals and expectations and stick to those when you’re deciding on whether you should go on a second date.”

“Real love is about forming a partnership between two people who care enough about one another to make responsible decisions in all aspects of life, including finances,” says Greenman. “Forget about getting swept away until you make sure you won’t get tossed overboard or financially sunk in the process! When you’re confident that you’ve found someone who is as financially aware as you are, you can develop other aspects of the relationship with less anxiety.”

About the Author: When Leslie Greenman’s husband unexpectedly passed on at age 35, she suddenly became a single mother of two boys (ages two and four). Leslie learned how quickly life could change. She went into the financial industry to empower women with the knowledge and confidence to take action and be prepared. Through her tough experiences of becoming suddenly single, she realized how easily women could be misinformed and taken advantage of. Dating Our Money offers women the important information they need to confidently make smart choices with money and men.

Leslie is currently a financial advisor, author, and public speaker. She loves to talk to women and girls about managing money and making wise choices but can adapt a speech to meet the needs of any audience. She encourages people to remember that every decision counts! Buying soda at a restaurant could prevent you from saving thousands of dollars over a lifetime.

Through her book, Dating Our Money, Leslie’s goal is to make financial planning fun and relatable for all women.

Eight Ways to Outsmart the Overspending Impulse in 2012

For many Americans, overspending seems like a birthright. But, warns financial advisor and author Leslie Greenman, sooner or later, those bad spending habits will catch up with you. She explains why we feel compelled to overspend and provides advice for making 2012 the year you tighten your purse strings.

If you fear you’ll be ringing in the New Year with a holiday spending hangover, you’re not alone. In fact, studies show that many Americans will still be paying off their holiday debt months, and possibly years, after gifts have been exchanged. But let’s be honest. If overspending was a problem for us only once a year, most of our bank accounts would be much more robust. Unfortunately, the overspending psyche infects many Americans all year round.

Leslie Greenman says that if you’re prone to turning a blind eye to the reality of your financials then you’ve likely been hijacked by the psychology of overspending. She wants to help you curb your out-of-control spending frenzies in 2012—but first you must understand why you feel the need to splurge in the first place. Many of us have emotional triggers that lead to overspending. Understanding how the need for stress relief or the need to demonstrate your own self-worth can lead to overspending is essential in order to curb the dangerous habit.

“Women especially can have a tendency to take on a what-I-don’t-know-can’t-hurt-me mentality when it comes to spending,” says Greenman, a financial advisor and author of the new book Dating Our Money: A Women’s Guide to Confidence with Money & Men (AuthorHouse, 2011, ISBN: 978-1-4634-1740-6, $14.95). “We convince ourselves it’s okay to overspend because we’re celebrating a promotion or because we’re pleasers by nature and want to buy a great gift for our spouse or best friend’s birthday.

“And in today’s economy, we might carefully avoid the truth about our financials because we don’t want to feel ‘poor.’ After all, we convince ourselves, if I’m out shopping or if I’m buying a new car then I must have plenty of money. Meanwhile, you’re using a credit card to pay for your extended trips to the mall and taking on unnecessary debt to get that new car.”

Greenman encourages women and men alike to make a change in 2012. She says there’s no better time than the beginning of the new year to break your overspending habits.

“Once they’ve conquered overspending, I think most people will be surprised by how much they gain through saving,” says Greenman. “Sure, you may no longer be eating out every Saturday night and you might not be restocking your closet every month with new shoes, but you’ll gain the peace of mind that comes with standing on a strong financial foundation and you’ll be able to achieve big financial goals, such as buying a house, much more quickly.”

Read on for Greenman’s advice on how to better understand the psychology of overspending and what you can do stop it:

Get real about your financials. Sit down with your spouse at least once a month to have a heart-to-heart about your financials. Make sure you both understand what the budget will allow for in spending that month, and more importantly, plan out how you’re going to meet your saving goals.

“Look at how much you can realistically spend,” advises Greenman. “Too often, women think of the financial picture like it’s a black hole. Credit cards are a huge cause of this because they allow us to avoid the reality of debt. We can just whip out our credit card without taking an immediate hit in our bank account. But that has to stop. Now is the time to gain a clear understanding of the family financials. When you do so, you’ll be more inclined to control your spending.”

Establish an “Operation Saving” plan. Once you know what your budget is, start mapping out what expenses you can and can’t cut and set savings goals. Be very specific. If you buy Starbucks every morning, that has to be accounted for in your spending report. If you’ve been sneakily hiding clothing purchases from your spouse, then it’s time to fess up. The specificity will override the “vagueness trap” that allows us to fool ourselves about how much we’re really spending.

“The more specific your plan, the easier it will be for you to hold yourself accountable to it,” notes Greenman. “Set both short-term and long-term goals. For example, do you want to pay off a credit card over the course of three months? Do you want to save up for a special family vacation or set aside a certain amount in your children’s college funds? Having specific goals will encourage everyone to stay on the saving track.”

Don’t let the psychology of the sale get the best of you. If you’re a chronic overspender, sales pose a special temptation. When there’s a great sale, two factors are usually used to justify spending, explains Greenman. First off, we fear that if we don’t take advantage of the sale now we might not be able to get that item later. And secondly, most women love to feel like they’ve gotten a great deal when they’re shopping.

“Even if the on-sale item is still too much for your budget, you convince yourself that it’s okay to splurge a little in this case because the deal being offered is so good,” she says. “But let’s be honest. Going over budget is going over budget. It doesn’t matter what purchase is deepening your debt; just that your debt is increasing. So don’t let the temptation of great sales get the best of your budget. If an item is too much for your personal financial situation, don’t buy it.”

Get an accountability partner. Your accountability partner will be there for you whenever you have the impulse to overspend. If you’re married, your spouse could be your accountability partner and vice versa. If not, maybe your mom has always been a stickler when it comes to the family budget, or maybe you have a friend whose frugalness you’ve always admired.

“Check in with your accountability partner at least once a month,” recommends Greenman. “Knowing you’ll be going over your finances with that person will help you stay on track. And make sure your accountability partner doesn’t mind being on call whenever you want to splurge. Give him or her a call when a sale is tempting you or when you’re having trouble making a financial decision.”

Don’t shop when you’ve got the blues. Studies have shown that we’re inclined to pay more for items when we’re sad. Have you ever been down in the dumps and indulged in a yummy dessert or gone back for seconds of whatever your comfort food of choice might be? Well, the same emotional triggers that lead you to seek comfort through food can lead you to seek comfort through spending if you head to the mall instead of to your favorite restaurant.

“Just like overeating, buying stuff is a popular remedy for making ourselves feel better when we’re down,” says Greenman. “But I think we all know that the happiness we achieve through spending is fleeting. Soon we’re right back to being down in the dumps. My advice: don’t shop when you’re sad. Instead, curl up and watch a good movie or spend some time with a good friend or family member who has a knack for cheering you up.”

Invest in relationships, not in “stuff.” It’s perfectly natural to want to give back to those who give to you. It feels good to treat a friend to lunch or to see your son’s face light up when you agree to buy him the video game he wants. This satisfies the nurturing instinct in women, in particular. And it also helps us assuage the guilt we often feel for the shortage of time we have to spend with our loved ones. What we need to realize is that what other people really want, kids and adults alike, is to spend time with us.

“One of my friends is the ultimate ‘giver,’” says Greenman. “She will treat for dinners, throw lavish parties, and has even given my kids new clothes. The funny thing is, I don’t think she understands that I would be her friend no matter what. It has never been about her ‘giving’ me things. I just genuinely enjoy spending time with her. So the next time you want to win a family member’s or friend’s love through buying something, find a way to spend time with that person instead. Spend a day with your son doing the things he loves to do. Or suggest to a friend that you spend an afternoon catching up over coffee.”

Use cash! Consider this: The average American spends 12 to 18 percent more when they use credit cards versus cash. Buying on credit is a trap to be avoided if at all possible—and the best strategy for defeating temptation is to use cash whenever possible.

“If you use your credit card, whether it’s to pay for the week’s groceries or to put gas in your car, you’ll probably end up paying for your groceries and gas two or three times over in interest payments,” Greenman notes. “Bring only cash with you when you’re shopping, or at the very least, use your debit card or write a check. Reaching for your credit card to pay for something you wouldn’t otherwise be able to afford is no longer an option.”

Remember, small amounts add up to huge consequences. Sometimes you can overspend by missing opportunities to spend less. Do you and your family order sodas when you eat out? Do you buy coffee at a gas station or at Starbucks on the way to work each morning? Do you buy bottled water instead of using a filter to get it from the tap? If so, spend a moment filling out one of the cost calculators available online. The results will be eye-opening!

“The amounts you spend on these items might seem small, but they really add up,” says Greenman. “Let’s take a closer look at soda costs. At a restaurant, soda can cost between $2 and $3. If you’re a family of four, that adds up to almost $10 or more every time you go out to eat. But if you drink water at restaurants instead, you save those $10-plus dollars, and those savings can quickly add up to about $1,000 a year. The same opportunities for saving arise when you cut out the daily Starbucks run. I bring a thermos of tea with me to work every morning. One box of the tea I buy at the grocery store is the same price as just one cup of tea from Starbucks. When you cut out the small expenses that add up, you’ll have a significant chunk of change to put toward the family vacation fund or the new appliance you need.”

“If you don’t know the big picture of your current financial status, then kick off 2012 by getting a clear understanding of it,” says Greenman. “There’s never a bad time to start living more financially responsibly. Sure, you’ll have to make sacrifices, but trust me, those sacrifices will be made up multiple times over through the wonderful things you can achieve through saving and strengthening your financial outlook.”

About the Author:

When Leslie Greenman’s husband unexpectedly passed on at age 35, she suddenly became a single mother of two boys (ages two and four). Leslie learned how quickly life can change. She went into the financial industry to empower women with the knowledge and confidence to take action and be prepared. Through her tough experiences of becoming suddenly single, she realized how easily women can be misinformed and taken advantage of. Dating Our Money offers women the important information they need to confidently make smart choices with money and men.

Leslie is currently a financial advisor, author, and public speaker. She loves to talk to women and girls about managing money and making wise choices but can adapt a speech to meet the needs of any audience. She encourages people to remember that every decision counts! Buying soda at a restaurant could prevent you from saving thousands of dollars over a lifetime.

Through her book, Dating Our Money, Leslie’s goal is to make financial planning fun and relatable for all women.

The Psychology of Holiday Shopping…and 11 Ways to Outsmart the Overspending Impulse

The holidays are here, and in addition to festive time spent with family and friends, for most of us it means a small fortune spent on gifts and other non-necessities. Leslie Greenman explains why we feel so compelled to shop till we drop at Christmas—and how not to do it this year.

Were you tempted by the Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales offers? Were some of the sales so good that you veered off your Christmas list a bit, buying items for yourself in addition to a few other holiday extras? Did you internally justify going over budget because, “Heck, it’s Christmas! I deserve to splurge a little!”? Were you careful to keep a “what I don’t know can’t hurt me” mentality about you and your spouse’s financials, staying in the gray to ward off any guilt that might come with overspending?

If you answered yes, yes, yes and (embarrassed blush) yes, Leslie Greenman says your brain has been hijacked by the psychology of overspending. She wants you to curb these out-of-control holiday spending frenzies—but first you must understand WHY you feel the need to splurge in the first place.

“This is a very difficult time of the year to stick to a budget and the reasons why are numerous and complex,” says Greenman, a financial advisor and author of the new book Dating Our Money: A Women’s Guide to Confidence with Money & Men. “One of the biggest reasons is that women tend to be givers and pleasers by nature. We want to buy great gifts for friends and family members. We want to get the best looking decorations for the house.

“We convince ourselves it’s okay to overspend because Christmas only comes once a year!” she adds. “This is our time to forget the budget and do whatever we can to make those around us happy. So in the name of making the holiday the best one ever, we carefully avoid the truth about our financials. After all, if we don’t know for certain that we’re going way over the family budget, then what’s stopping us from spending a little more on the kids’ presents or buying that new dress for the office party?”

Greenman notes that the nature of holiday spending—the fact that we’re buying for others and not ourselves (in theory anyway)—increases our tendency to overspend.

“Many women think the holidays give us a guilt-free pass to shop ’til we drop,” says Greenman. “We justify it by telling ourselves, ‘Well, I have to get gifts for everyone or they’ll be disappointed!’ While it’s nice to give someone something they want, that good feeling will quickly fade when you see how much your holiday spending affected the family’s finances.”

The good news is that with careful planning you can give everyone on your list a special holiday without having to pay for it for months and months to come. Read on for Greenman’s advice on how to better understand the psychology of overspending and what you can do stop it:

Get real about your financials. Before you step out the door to head off to the next great sale, you need to be honest with yourself. Sit down with your spouse and have a heart-to-heart about your financials. Make sure you both understand what the budget will allow for in holiday spending this year.

“Look at how much you can realistically spend,” advises Greenman. “Make sure your holiday spending will in no way negatively affect your bigger plans. Too often, women think of the financial picture like it’s a black hole. Credit cards are a huge cause of this because they allow us to avoid the reality of debt. We can just whip out our credit card without taking an immediate hit in our bank account. But that has to stop. Now is the time to gain a clear understanding of the family financials. When you do so, you’ll be more inclined to control your spending.”

Don’t let the psychology of the sale get the best of you. Shoppers were out in droves this year on Black Friday in part because they were hammered with promotions on sales that that were just too good to resist. When there’s a great sale, two factors are usually used to justify spending, explains Greenman. First off, we fear that if we don’t take advantage of the sale now we might not be able to get that item later. And secondly, most women love to feel like they’ve gotten a great deal when they’re shopping.

“Even if the on-sale item is still too much for your budget, you convince yourself that it’s ok to splurge a little in this case because the deal being offered is so good,” she says. “But let’s be honest. Going over budget is going over budget. It doesn’t matter what purchase is deepening your debt; just that your debt is increasing. So don’t let holiday sales get the best of your budget. If an item is too much for your personal financial situation, don’t buy it.”

Don’t shop for yourself. According to the National Retail Federation’s 2011 Holiday Consumer Intentions and Actions Survey, the average person will spend $130.43 on themselves while holiday shopping. When you’re making it okay for yourself to do a lot of spending, it can be difficult not to stray off your list and buy a couple of things for yourself.”

“But before you spend, consider some money-saving alternatives,” she suggests. “You could borrow a dress from someone or add an accessory or a great pair of shoes to a dress you already own. In fact, this is actually a good reason to organize your closet. When you can easily see what you have, you can quickly put together a great holiday outfit without spending a dime. ”

Don’t shop when you’ve got the holiday blues. This time of year can bring a lot of joy, but it can also be overwhelming and stressful. What’s more, the holidays are filled with grief triggers—sights, sounds and smells that bring back memories of days past when life was better and loved ones hadn’t yet passed on. Those holiday blues, whether we understand why we’re feeling them or not, can pose a pocketbook problem: studies have shown that we are willing to spend more when we’re sad.

“Avoid shopping when you’re having a down day,” advises Greenman. “Curl up and watch a holiday movie or go do something fun with your kids instead. Save the shopping for a better mood. ”

Invest in relationships, not in “stuff”. It’s perfectly natural to want to give back to those who give to you. It feels good to watch a friend open the gift you’ve given her or to see your son’s face light up when he sees Santa brought him everything on his list. This satisfies the nurturing instinct in women, in particular. And it also helps us assuage the guilt we often feel for the shortage of time we have to spend with our loved ones. What we need to realize is that what other people really want, kids and adults alike, is our presence (not our presents).

“According to a Consumer Reports poll, holiday shoppers will spend approximately 19 hours shopping and 3 hours standing in check-out lines this holiday season,” says Greenman. “Aren’t there much better ways we could be spending our time? Rather than throw down cash to buy the video games your son wants, spend a day with him doing the things he loves to do. Suggest to your best friend an afternoon together meeting for coffee and going to a movie. Or treat your parents to a home-cooked meal and some Christmas carols performed by their grandkids. You can also take this a step further and make it even more gratifying for everyone involved. Suggest to your loved ones that the time you spend together be used to volunteer for a local charity—a great way to enjoy the true spirit of the season!”

Establish an “Operation Holiday” plan. Once you know what your budget is, start mapping out your shopping plan. Make the gift list and then think about where you’ll need to go to purchase each present. The specificity will override the “vagueness trap” that allows us to fool ourselves about how much we’re really spending.

“The more specific your plan, the easier it will be for you to hold yourself accountable to it,” notes Greenman. “Keep your key goals in mind, both short-term and long-term. For example, are you trying to keep each gift under X amount of dollars? Do you want to be finished by a certain time? Do you still need to have enough money left over in the budget to make your monthly donation to the family summer vacation fund? Don’t sacrifice your long-term financial plans to satisfy short-term holiday spending cravings.”

Don’t put off your shopping until the week before Christmas. It is best to start your holiday shopping as many shopping days before Christmas as you can. Procrastinating will only send you into a state of panic that usually ends in overspending.

“As the holiday gets closer and you realize you haven’t even made a dent in your list, you’ll start to get desperate,” explains Greenman. “And when you’re desperate, you won’t have as many misgivings about going over budget in order to get your shopping done. You’ll also have less time to finish your shopping so you’ll think you have to get whatever is available. ‘Shop early and save’ should be your new motto. Another positive to getting all your shopping out of the way early is that it gives you more time to kick back and enjoy all of the fun festivities leading up to the holidays.”

Set a holiday shopping curfew. You don’t have to go tearing through stores, pushing innocent shoppers from your path (or spraying them with pepper spray as one much-publicized shopper did on Black Friday), but setting a time limit on your shopping will help you keep your spending impulses in check and stay on budget.

Remember, it’s the thought that counts. You might find the perfect gift for someone but then reject it because you don’t think the price is significant enough to be an adequate gift. That’s because we unconsciously equate love with money. Not only is there absolutely no connection between the two, this self-imposed spending minimum can lead us to bypass meaningful gifts in favor of expensive, less meaningful ones (which the recipient may not even remember by Christmas of next year).

“A gift with a lot of thought behind it or shared meaning for you and the recipient can have far more significance than a more expensive item,” says Greenman. “For example, a special photo of you and a friend in a frame with a special note about how much you enjoyed the time you spent together is a great gift. Or have your kids write down the 10 things they love about their grandparents and include the list in a photo album of the kids. These are all gifts that involve more thought and meaning than just going to the store and buying a gift. And the people receiving them will truly appreciate it.”

Make a list, check it twice, and bring cash! How many times have you walked into a store and immediately found the perfect gift for a friend? Sure, you hadn’t planned on spending that much, but she would love it, so why not? You can just put it on your credit card, right? Wrong, says Greenman. Buying on credit is a trap to be avoided if at all possible—and the best strategy for defeating temptation is to bring a list you don’t veer from and only the cash needed to purchase the items on it.

“If you use your credit card, you’ll probably end up buying those gifts two or three times over in interest payments,” she notes. “Do not stray from your list. If you do stray, the cost of the non-list item needs to be the same as the one you had already budgeted. Bring only cash with you when you’re shopping, or at the very least, use your debit card or write a check.”

Don’t shop with a holiday budget saboteur. If you prefer doing your shopping with someone else in tow, choose someone who won’t encourage you to go off budget. In fact, make sure it is someone who will truly hold you accountable. Many people are easily influenced by the behavior of their friends. When they’re with free spenders, they become free spenders. Likewise, when they’re with more disciplined friends, they’re influenced by this positive peer pressure.

“If I shop with one of my girlfriends, I know it could quite possibly turn into a several hour affair,” notes Greenman. “I also know that some of my girlfriends would rather encourage me to splurge than support me in my efforts to stick to a budget. If you’re going to pair up with someone to do your holiday shopping, make sure it’s someone who’s going to keep you on track. For example, maybe your mom is a stickler when it comes to managing the family budget or maybe using the holiday shopping outing to educate your kids about sticking to a budget will help you hold yourself accountable as well.”

Point, click, and save. The benefits of online shopping are obvious. You don’t have to battle holiday traffic, it is practically hassle-free, it’s easier to compare prices, and best of all, it allows you to resist the temptations that come along with being in a store.

“When you’re in a store it can be really tempting to wander off your plan and start looking at items that aren’t on your list,” says Greenman. “Because you can search for specific items, online shopping helps you to stay on task. It also provides a greater selection of those items so that you can easily compare cost and quality. And usually free shipping is offered around the holidays!”

Don’t be afraid to regift. Regifting has a stigma attached to it. Many people feel it violates gift-giving etiquette. Maybe they think it makes them feel like an unimaginative gift giver or perhaps like a poor person. But remember, you’re opting out of the herd mentality this year anyway. Take a new look at regifting. When done well it can help you find a home for items that you’re never going to use and make the day of the gift recipient.

“There is nothing wrong with regifting items that you haven’t used and that you know someone on your Christmas list would like,” says Greenman. “Sure, there is a line that has to be drawn. If your grandmother got you a sweater you hate, but she expects you to wear, then that’s probably not an item that you should regift. Suck it up and wear it! But let’s say a former colleague got you a scarf as part of a Secret Santa exchange at work last year. It’s a perfectly nice scarf, but it’s a color that just doesn’t look good on you. That’s a great item to regift. You’ll get it out of your house, and someone else will love having it.”

“Other great options are unused gift cards—as long as they haven’t expired— or clothes or other items either with the tags still on or still in their original box that you never used,” she adds.

“Don’t convince yourself that just because it’s the holidays it’s okay to ignore your budget and overspend,” says Greenman. “If you don’t know the big picture of your current financial status, then make sure you have a very clear understanding of it before you start your holiday shopping. Remember you can give a lot without spending a lot. Stick to your budget and then be generous with your time and spirit. Once the holidays are over, you’ll be happy you didn’t blow your savings, and you and your family and friends will be fulfilled by the time you all spent together.”

About the Author: When Leslie Greenman’s husband unexpectedly passed on at age 35, she suddenly became a single mother of two boys (ages two and four). Leslie learned how quickly life can change. She went into the financial industry to empower women with the knowledge and confidence to take action and be prepared. Through her tough experiences of becoming suddenly single, she realized how easily women can be misinformed and taken advantage of. Dating Our Money offers women the important information they need to confidently make smart choices with money and men.