Dr. Martha Howard’s Baker’s Dozen Guide

Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching. For those who’ve waited the last minute to plan the special date, fret no more. Chicago Healers Practitioner Martha Howard, M.D offers a variety of foods that would make a perfect feast for a romantic evening. Below is your Baker’s Dozen Guide of Aphrodisiac Foods for Valentine’s Day, including a preplanned menu.

• Chocolate: The Ultimate Aphrodisiac Food – Chocolate contains anandamide and phenylethylamine (PEA) which releases dopamine in the brain’s pleasure center, resulting in feelings of attraction, excitement and euphoric pleasure. It is no secret why the box of chocolates has been a customary Valentine’s gift!

• The Almond Joy – “Back in the old days” the scents of almonds was thought to arouse passion in women, and were regarded as fertility symbols. The “back in the day” people had the right idea. Almonds contain high levels of magnesium and vitamin E. Both of these supplements have been given to men and women going through IVF treatments and have increased fertilization rates from 19 to 29 percent.

• Arugula: It’s more than a garnish – Since the beginning of time, arugula has been used as an aphrodisiac. According to the Cambridge World History of Food, arugula was combined with grated orchid bulbs, parsnips, pine nuts and pistachios to make an ‘aphrodisiac mix.’

• Asparagus: The last supper – In 19th century France, on the eve of their wedding, grooms were served three courses of asparagus at their “bachelor” dinners. Asparagus contains folic acid which is known to boost histamine production notorious for enhancing performance on the wedding night.

• Avocado: The forbidden fruit – Catholic priests in Spain deemed avocados an outlawed food because they were thought to be so “obscenely sexual.” Avocado, like asparagus is high in folic acid which produces histamine. The fruit also has vitamin B6 and potassium, which calms the nerves and controls many body processes such as heart regulation.

• Bananas: Guilty by association – Bananas, like avocados and almonds, have potassium, B vitamins and magnesium. Its real claim to fame, however, is the bromeliad enzyme, which is traditionally known to boost male libido.

• Basil: Feed the senses – Basil not only makes food smell and taste better, it stimulates circulation causing the heart to beat faster.

• Figs: An Egyptian favorite – Cleopatra’s favorite fruit was thought to stimulate sexual arousal and increase fertility.

• Ginger: The aroma of desire – Ginger is another traditional aphrodisiac, because of its ability to increase circulation and desire.

• The Honey…moon – The word “honeymoon” comes from a custom in ancient Persia. Couples drank mead (liquor made from honey) daily for a month after marriage, to get them “in the mood.”

• Licorice: The love machine- In ancient China, it was believed that the smell of licorice would enhance feelings of love and lust.

• Oysters: It’s common knowledge – Oysters are the most celebrated of aphrodisiacs. Oysters have high zinc content. Zinc is known to help produce sperm and increase libido.

• Pine Nuts: Love potion number 9- Pine nuts have been used to stimulate the libido since medieval days. They are high in zinc, like oysters, and have been used for centuries in love potions.

Now that you have the ingredients, Dr. Howard provides you with the recipe that would ensure a romantic Valentine’s night!

• Appetizer: Oysters on the half shell

• Salad: Arugula, with figs, pine nuts, avocado, and a honey and ginger dressing

• Entrée: Spaghetti with tomato-basil sauce, with grilled asparagus

• Dessert: Chocolate¬ banana almond mousse

• After dinner mints: Licorice flavor

About Chicago Healers: Chicago Healers (www.ChicagoHealers.com) is the nation’s pioneer prescreened and integrative health care network, offering a comprehensive understanding of each practitioner’s services, approach and philosophy. Its holistic health experts teach and advocate natural and empowered health and life choices through their practices, the media, educational events, and the website. With close to 200 practitioners and over 300 treatment services, Chicago Healers has provided nearly 400 free educational events for Chicagoans and has been featured in 300+ TV news programs and print publications. For more information, visit www.ChicagoHealers.com.

picture of couple in relationship

Truly loving another means letting go of all expectations. It means full acceptance, even celebration of another’s personhood. Karen Kasey

• Ask yourself “Am I married to the right person…or am I just married?”

• State your intention. Do you intend to stay married and make it work? Then do what it takes to make it happen…or get a divorce.

• End the blame game. If you’re blaming your partner for your unhappiness, you’re denying your own power. We can’t control what others do, but we can control how we respond to it and whether or not we’ll continue to live with it.

• Tell the truth about something you’ve been stewing over. Tell it gently and lovingly, expressing what took place and how you feel: angry or sad or betrayed or conflicted. Make it an “I” statement versus a “You” statement. Own your feelings, they are yours. Then offer a suggestion on how to make the situation work for the both of you. This will turn the focus on a solution and keep you both from getting stuck on the problem.

• Rock the boat. It can be good to upset the status quo in your relationship—especially if the status quo is causing seething resentment. Go where you want to go on vacation for a change…or plan an outing with girlfriends on his “golf day”….or paint your office the shade of green that he dislikes (but that you love). Let the chips fall where they may.

• Are you letting your partner live an authentic life? If you’re doing something to manipulate or control him or her, it’s time to stop. When people are allowed to be who they are, they often blossom.

• It’s usually a mistake to expect people to change lifelong habits that you don’t like. They won’t. And anyway, who are you to insist they change to please you?

• It’s not about winning. As the old saying goes, Would you rather be right or be happy?

• Have you ever heard it said, “Don’t fight force with force”? It’s a MARTIAL arts principle that can also be a MARITAL arts principle! Sometimes yielding, or flowing around the barrier like a river, is the best way to get what you need.

• Seize every opportunity to say, “I love you.” One day it will be your last chance.

About the Authors:

Kathleen McIntire is a transformational teacher, speaker, and healer who is dedicated to bringing forth truth, liberation, and awakening. She is the author and creator of Guiding Signs 101, a set of divination cards and guidebook using everyday road signs to tap into your intuition and own inner guidance.

Kathleen is the producer of two upcoming Mayan films. The first, Mayan Renaissance, is being made by PeaceJam, an international education program for youth built around leading Nobel Peace Laureates. The other film is The Unification of Wisdom and 2012. In the near future she will be a presenter on the Womens Empowerment (WE) Channel on the CANDO Networks. Kathleen’s website addresses are www.soaringinlight.com and www.guidingsigns101.com.

Erin Cote has been involved in creative design for over a decade. Her main focus is on bringing humor and playfulness to professional environments. Through Laughter Therapy she teaches others about the importance of play and laughter. As the founder of ULaugh, Erin conducts laughter presentations and workshops in Northern California for the public, businesses, and hospitals.

Together, Erin and Kathleen bring their talents of wisdom, design, and playfulness into the creation of Guiding Signs 101. Erin can be contacted through her website at: www.UlaughAlot.com or through www.GuidingSigns101.com.

In Part Four the Authors Share  tips to Authentic Parenting

“I can’t believe that the holidays are just around the corner.”

I asked, “What are the tears about?”

Eyes looked down as Emma whimpered, “It’s about New Years Eve; I hate the thought that I’ll be alone again.”

“What comes to mind?”

“I think of lovers clinking champagne glasses followed by a passionate kiss to welcome in the New Year. And I’m not part of the scene.” Emma said sadly.

I inquired “Do you want to be part of the scene?”

Emma responded, “I do, but I haven’t met that special man.”

If like Emma, you have not met that special man yet, you may feel that New Years Eve can be the loneliest night of the year. The good news is that you can change all of that.

Before I talk about how you can feel more hopeful, here is a brief overview of the newest, most exciting scientific findings that underlie my thinking. In my new book, The New Science of Love: How Understanding Your Brain’s Wiring Can Help Rekindle Your Relationship (Sourcebooks, Casablanca, 2011) you will learn how to empower yourself and attract that special man.

The first thing I want to describe is the power that mirror neurons have on our love lives. Mirror neurons are miniscule brain cells located behind the eye sockets that connect intimate partners at an internal level. Each partner mirrors the other partner’s actions and feelings of attraction, romance, love, lust, moods, self esteem, and self respect. To ensure that these heady experiences occur, the brain triggers the release of love-inducing chemicals such as oxytocin, vasopressin, dopamine, testosterone, natural opioids along with mood enhancing neurotransmitters, serotonin, and GABA. You too can have those wonderful feelings with a special man.

The first step is to embark on a journey to enhance your self esteem, so that you will feel fulfilled within yourself. With the help of mirror neurons, not only will you feel empowered and less lonely, but you are more apt to attract a terrific man.

Sure enough, strong women make better lovers and connect to stronger men. That means the more you respect yourself, the more you value yourself, the better your self esteem, the greater likelihood that you will make a deep meaningful connection to a special person. Here’s where mirror neurons enter the picture. Because of the linking of intimate partners by mirror neurons, the more appealing you are to yourself, the more appealing you will be to him.

Science tell us that the brain is plastic, which means that if you don’t really value yourself right now, you can change how you view yourself. In my book, The New Science of Love I show you exactly how to empower yourself, enhance your self esteem, savor your strengths and face your frailties. You will learn how to delete pernicious societal or childhood messages that diminish you and replace them with self- loving ones.

As you change your self-perception, you will gain confidence to reach out to others, and enlarge your circle of supportive friends. From this base you will feel ready to seek out a new partner. With good self-confidence you can check out the online dating sites or local singles events. The New York Times on November 13,2011 in the Styles and Fashion section the story Love, Lies, and What They Told, by Stepanie Rosen writes that three million Americans online are looking for love and that 20% of them find it with lasting partnerships. At this time of year, many more lonely people are looking for love. That means that you too can search for and finds a loving partnership.

And so, with a little love, courage, and hope, New Year’s Eve will be anything but the loneliest night e year. Actually it can be the best one yet.

Fran Cohen Praver, Ph.D. is the author of The New Science of Love: How Understanding Your Brain’s Wiring Can Help Rekindle Your Relationship”

This article is excerpted from the Holiday Gift Guide for 2011. Be sure and check it out and read other articles about the holidays. It’s also great to add to your online shopping experience!

By Dr. Jacqueline Del Rosario, America’s Marriage Doctor

It may be “The Most Glorious Time of the Year” but planning romantic time with your hubby isn’t the easiest thing to do during the holiday season. With all the holiday shopping you have to do, you may think you don’t have the time or money to plan a romantic experience with your spouse. But date night doesn’t have to be a strain on your time or your finances. Here are three creative ways to have date night on a budget during the holiday season that are easy to do and won’t break the bank.

Date Night: Giving

‘Tis the season, and what better way to show your mate how much you care than to give the gift of giving?”

Too often couples get wrapped up in the daily grind of managing responsibilities. He picks up the kids from school. She cooks dinner. He takes out the trash. She washes the dishes. There is a danger of allowing your daily routines to drive a wedge between you and your mate. Things become worse during the holiday season, when you’re spending so much time running around trying to get everything “ready” that you forget to take the time out to just enjoy being with your life partner.

A simple 4-hour exercise in which you give completely to your partner will help get you back on track. This is such a simple exercise, but it can drastically ramp up the romance factor in your relationship while also giving you a new appreciation for your mate. Really, its an exercise in submission. Spend a whole day serving your partner. That means that whatever your partner wants, you are ready to do. As you might imagine, the requests can range from the truly mundane to the truly sensual.

During the gift-giving season, this exercise will transform the way you think about giving and taking in the relationship. This is the real revelation of this whole exercise. It’s amazing how much of the things our partners do for us that we take for granted. We stop saying thank you and instead start thinking that we are automatically entitled to those small acts of consideration that let us know we are loved. Instead we focus on the big gestures and forget about the million small ones we receive from our partner every day. Voltaire said: “Appreciation is a wonderful thing: it makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” A little appreciation goes a long way in a marriage.  Acknowledge your partner by telling them how much you appreciate everything that they are doing today and every other day of your lives together.

Date Night: Create Musical CD

Are you tired of hearing “Here Comes Santa Claus” every time you turn on the radio? It’s not that you’re a Scrooge or anything, but enough already! Jingle Bells has been stuck in your head for the last 6 weeks.

This activity takes the ability of music to evoke strong emotions and channels it into a “nostalgia date” for you and your mate. It was Bill Cosby who said: “The heart of marriage is memories.” This activity is designed to help you and your mate take a walk down memory lane so you can relive and appreciate the wonderful experiences you’ve shared.

During this activity, you and your mate will make a musical soundtrack of some of the most special moments of your lives together. As you select and listen to the songs on your CD, not only will you get a break from the “Holly, Jolly Christmas” tunes on heavy rotation but you’ll also get to reminisce about all the wonderful times you’ve shared together. Warm memories will come flooding back and the love you feel for your partner will be reinvigorated as you marvel at the journey you have taken together and all the wonderful things you have experienced. You may even want to keep the vibe going by slow dancing cheek to cheek with your hubbie. It may be cold outside but it will be warm inside as you heat up the moment with a few caresses and romantic dance moves

Best of all, your CD-creating session will become a new cherished memory for the both of you. You’ll be able to pop it in every time you need a pick-me-up or need to be reminded why you fell in love with your mate in the first place. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

Date Night: Take A Romantic Bath

What better way to amp up the romance factor with your mate than to plan a nice, long, leisurely romantic bath for the two of you?

If you have children, make arrangements to get the kids out of the house so you can plan to have your romantic bath without the threat of interruption. Hire a babysitter to take the kids out to a movie or cart them “over the river and through the woods” to grandma’s.  Please remember to clean your bathroom. This should go without saying, but maybe not. Nothing can ruin a romantic mood quicker than ring-around-the tub. To create a romantic atmosphere, light candles and play soft music in the background.

Add essential oils or a scented bubble bath to your running bath water. Lavender oil is especially relaxing. As you relax in the bath together, talk, touch, bathe each other and just enjoy the time you’re sharing. Wine can greatly enhance your relaxation quotient–choose something light and refreshing to sip on as you enjoy your romantic bath.

Choose large, soft towels for you and your spouse to use after your bath. Pre-heat them in the clothes dryer for a few minutes before your bath for an added touch.

Think holistically and show some initiative by changing the sheets on your bed. Nothing feels better after a hot, relaxing bath than cool satin sheets. If you want to follow your romantic bath with an evening of passionate lovemaking satin sheets will help you close the deal. You might even wake up to a Winter Wonderland.

“America’s Marriage Doctor” Jacqueline Del Rosario is President and CEO of Recapturing the Vision International, an organization dedicated to promoting healthy marriages and family strengthening. Also a published author, speaker and nationally regarded media personality, Dr. Del Rosario has been a certified pre and post-marital counselor for more than 20 years. Her cutting-edge series, Marriage Solutions and The Marital Constitution™, help couples successfully work through problems and find healthy solutions. She has two children and currently resides in Miami, Fl with her husband of over 20 years. Dr. Del Rosario may be reached online at www.doctordelrosario.com

This article is excerpted from the Holiday Gift Guide for 2011. Be sure and check it out and read other articles about the holidays. It’s also great to add to your online shopping experience! While you are at it check out EdenFlorist.com – delivering flowers anywhere this holiday season!

By Simone Kelly

There’s a war going on ladies and gentlemen! Oh no, I’m not taking about in Iraq,  Afghanistan, or Korea either.  There is the war of self-sabotage that many of us face on a daily basis. Many times its become so much apart of our make-up that we don’t even realize we are doing it. Getting closer to your inner-being will help you uncover when you do the things you do, so you can stop yourself from sinking in the quicksand even further. That’s why I’m such a big advocate of ME TIME so, that we can start to wake up.

I caught myself getting in a funk the other day and had to snap out of it and thankfully because of the self-development tools I have access too, I’m able to catch myself. One of the tools is something you can all get is A  JOURNAL!

Hey, we’re all human and it’s normal to go through ‘it’ sometimes, but if we don’t pay attention to US… the war inside of us can explode in all areas of our lives. So, WAKE UP  to what’s going on with you…

Here’s a little peek at what happens on both sides of the game.

Some of us:

• Have poor habits that are detrimental to our health and well-being (alcohol, drug addiction, over-eating, etc.)
• Are surrounded by toxic energy and don’t work on ways to improve the situations.
• Continue to host lavish pity parties and drown ourselves in sorrow and pull others in.
• Rather focus on “what ain’t” more than “what could be.” What you focus truly does EXPAND.
• Are in love-less or abusive relationships just to feel worthy because you are in a ‘relationship’.
• Become workaholics to avoid what’s really happening in our lives.
• Are saving everyone else except ourselves and continuously put ourselves LAST!

These people who are living this way are clearly on the path to self-destruction. There are many dealing with just one or two of the things I mentioned or maybe even all of them. This can lead to depression, hopelessness, violence, rage and even a terminal illness.

Then, ah, then there’s Self love—(sweet music starts to play) Yes, self-love the other side of the game called life.

Some of us on this side:

• Value our time alone to work on ourselves.
• Surround ourselves with positive people.
• Are in the process of forgiving ourselves or others.
• Stay in a state of appreciation of a situation even if it seems like a bad situation at first.
• Listen deeply to the messages within and trust our intuition.
• Realize that there are options and we are not victims.
• Actively seek assistance and not try to do it all on our own.
• Dig deep to understand the lessons in life.
• If we fail, we dust ourselves off and get back up again.
• Express love for others.
• Are emotionally open and don’t bottle things up.

Now the question is…which side are you on? Are you somewhere in the middle? Hey, there  is no judgment here, since it’s very rare that you can find someone 100% on either side. No one is perfect!

The key now is to realize that you definitely do have a choice of which side you want to be on. Think of the things you can do each day…you know? The  little baby steps towards self-love to honor and respect yourself. As I always say, it’s okay to be selfish. Me time spent working yourself has abundant rewards!

With that said, grab a journal and try answering the following questions.

1. Take a few moments to review that last three years of your life.

2. Write down three major indicants that lead you to where you are now.

3. What did it mean to you? Take a deeper look at the results of a death in family, break up, move, birth, illness, accident, new job, etc..  How did it effect you?

Incident 1:

Incident 2:

Incident 3:

4. Review each incident and write next to  them…What really happened? (Sometimes we make up stories and change the situation just to justify things. Take a step back and be honest with what REALLY happened here.)

5. What’s next for you? What are your options to move forward and move towards self-love in each  area. Realize that we have a choice, what choices will you make?

Please post your comments on where you are and what helps you move toward self-improvement each day! The more me time tips we can share the better 

Own Your Power!

Simone Kelly

P.S. Remember you don’t have to fight this battle alone. There are tools, people, coaches, and resources available to you. As a member of the Own Your Power Community you’ll get a complimentary session. Join us and let’s help you get 100% focused on what living the life that you deserve! www.ownyourpower.ning.com

Certified Law of Attraction Master Life Coach & Holistic Business Coach, Simone Kelly is the passionate visionary behind Own Your Power Communications. She encourages you to own your business and pursue a holistic lifestyle. Check out the Own Your Power community out and connect with like-minds here: ownyourpowerlifestyle.com

AND REV UP THE ROMANCE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

In a long term relationship and feeling celebratory as the holiday season approaches? But are you discovering that while the notion of intimacy is top of mind, you have lost that loving feeling, even though you are happily together with your long term partner? You are not alone. Close to half of all women complain of similar concerns. What can you do to ignite new sparks and have the sexiest holiday season ever?

More than anything else this holiday season, your dream is to have a more satisfying relationship with your partner, but the passion seems to have dwindled. Worse yet, while the holiday spirit is high, the dark, dank days may be more of a match for your dulled desire. Why? Underlying causes may be prescription medcations including oral contraceptives, anti depressants, anti hypertension meds, and others, all unknowingly undermining your sexual desire, arousal and satisfaction, and real chance of holiday pleasure.

Avoidance of getting closer may be caused by new feeling of sexual discomfort due to vaginal dryness, interfering with intimacy and satisfaction.

Holiday rush and everyday stress may make sleep a luxury. And, being overtired can undercut the romance in any relationship. Time to make your bedroom a haven for restful slumber by removing any and all electronic distractions. Create an ambiance, and help restore divine connection and sexual pleasure in your relationship.

Fall in love with him all over again. Use the season to be more attentive. Hold his hand..and whisper in his ear. Put holiday shopping on hold and plan a getaway intimacy weekend. to a romantic but festive location. Doing something new, different and unexpected may help increase those “feel good” brain chemicals (dopamine,norepinephrine, and oxytocin) and make you feel more romantically interested.

Give yourself a “romance to the rescue” gift to heat up holidays under the sheets…for an all new you for holidays into the new year.

This little trio is guaranteed to give your romance a real boost. Best of all, it’s a great little stocking stuffer or Hanukah gift for your favorite girlfriend who may be suffering in silence…but needs more fulfillment and satisfaction in her life, too. (Men, it’s a great sexy little surprise for the woman in your life)

GO AHEAD. MAKE HER SEE STARS UP ABOVE WITH THIS ROMANCE REVVING TRIO

Get a head start and make the loving last longer, and feel more satisfying. No prescription required.

Check out the number one topically applied essential arousal oil leading doctors and health professionals are recommending for great sex effortlessly.

Zestra, backed by two clinical studies, is a patented blend of botanical oils and natural extracts…and it’s hormone-free, too.. Clinically proven to boost dulled desire, arousal and satisfaction in 70 percent of women who use it. Now, women can repair mismatched libidos with a safe, proven and effective product. Uniquely formuated with such natural ingredents as PA free borage seed oil, evening primrose oil, angelica Extract, coleus forskholii extract, theobromine, and enriched with Vitamins C and E. Within minutes, women feel the Zesta Rush.

Pair it with all new Glide, a topical lubricating lotion to naturally replace lost lubrication down under without any vaginal irritation or burning.

Set the mood with a delicately scented, beautifully romantic Zestra purple candle…and feel the sparks of romance return and the holiday loving begin.

Find out more about what you can do to sustain the loving and help your relationship continue to evolve for the sexiest season ever.

Click here to visit Zestra at www.zestra.com.

This article is excerpted from the Holiday Gift Guide for 2011. Be sure and check it out and read other articles about the holidays. It’s also great to add to your online shopping experience!

while you are at it check out these two incredible stocking stuffers in this year’s gift guide:

Lipsense by SenceGen – the Long-lasting Liquid Lip Color at www.RockYourLips.com

Women in Jazz South Florida – 10 songs, 10 women artists at www.WIJSF.org

Kim Kardashian (source: Photobucket)

…  about Relationship Mistakes to Avoid

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT

Sadly, celebrity divorces make all the headlines for all the wrong reasons. They showcase the most unconscious behavior, especially when it comes to relationships. Kim Kardashian’s marriage gone off tracks after such a short time is just one more example.

It appears Kim spent more time working out her wedding details than on determining whether this was a good match from the start. Unfortunately, celebrities are not alone in making this common mistake. Too many couples think no further than the honeymoon plans when contemplating marriage. They have no idea about the complexity behind real relationship issues and the maturity it takes to create a successful long-term outcome.

Divorced couples do. They learn through hindsight about the challenges two people face when living together week after week, month after month in today’s stress-filled world. It takes awareness, flexibility, great communication skills and the ability to understand your partner’s perspective to make a relationship work – and that’s just for routine life experiences. Throw in accidents, sickness, job loss and other major stressors, not to mention the complexities that come with having children, and it’s easy to understand why so many marriages fail and too often end in divorce.

If you’re divorced and looking to find a healthier, happier relationship ahead, or marrying for the first time and want to avoid relationship disasters, here are some tips that are worth serious consideration:

Know your partner well — during the good times and the bad. It’s after you face disagreements, nursing your partner through an illness and other life challenges that you find out who you are really contemplating spending the rest of your life with. If what you discover makes you uncomfortable, have some serious conversations – or move on before making any further commitments.

Don’t expect to be “completed,” “saved,” or “fixed.” No one can fill the void in your inner self. You’re setting your partner up for failure if you expect them to fix your problems and love you through your unresolved issues. Do the inner work on yourself first, perhaps with the support of a therapist. Heal your wounds and neediness. Then seek out another soul who has done the same to partner with you.

Be hooked on more than just romance. Happily married couples will tell you that you have to be more than great bed-mates to make a real relationship work. Look for common values, goals, beliefs and interests. Opposites may attract in the short-term, but you want a marriage based on respect and sharing a future together. If your core values and interests are not in alignment, you’re facing a tougher road ahead.

Be your authentic self – and don’t change for a partner’s approval. You can’t fake your way through a marriage. If you hate sports, the internet or pets, state it up front and find a mate who loves you knowing this reality. It’s unfair to hide your true self from your partner and it’s a disservice to yourself pretending to be who you are not. Honor who you are and look for a partner with high self-esteem who loves themselves as they are. That’s a formula for lasting relationship success!

As Kim Kardashian discovered, money won’t buy you a happy marriage. You can’t use sensuality as a substitute for good sense. Relationships don’t have storybook endings. They require constant attention, the ability to sacrifice and compromise at times, and a heavy dose of respect for the person you brought into your life.

Before setting out in the relationship world, work on your inner demons, let go of the baggage from previous relationships, and take your time in getting to know the special partner you are choosing. There’s no magic wand that will make your relationship succeed, but these guidelines will set you on a course that will circumvent a lot of pot holes along the road to happily ever after.

* * *

Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a divorce and relationship coach. She is founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network for parents and author of the internationally acclaimed ebook: How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love! She is also co-author of the new book: 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50 & Yes, 60! Her free divorce and parenting tip sheet and coaching programs are available at www.childcentereddivorce.com. Rosalind’s free dating tip sheet and relationships courses can be found at www.womendatingafter40.com.

This special online event, a week of unique blog posts, is brought to you by Biba Pedron from Your Business in Style

Today I introduce you to Patricia Weber, Business Coach for Introverts and Shy from www.patricia-weber.com

“My first hint didn’t happen until we were having dinner the evening before,” says Patricia. “Marty was out on the balcony talking with friends in Turkey when she over heard him say under his breath, “She doesn’t have a clue.”

On the way out of the cabin she asked him what she didn’t know about. He told some kind of story about a gift was in the works for them upon meeting up with his Rotarian friends in port. It seemed logical to her (an introvert quite often uses logic) and the evening went on just normally.

They were picked up at the docks in Kusadasi, about a 30-minute drive from Ephesus, by two of Marty’s Rotarian connections. Marty was in his extrovert element with excitement.

“What I was thinking, since we visited Ephesus a couple of times already, is this was to be a private guide who would take us to parts we likely hadn’t visited before.” She was really looking forward to a private tour she told the three men. Marty continued to play along reminding her how when they had visited Egypt the private guide was the highlight of their visit there.

The ride was uneventful and upon arrival in Ephesus the parking was wide open. As their host paid their entrance fee, they went through the entry gates and more Rotarians joined the four of them. Further up the path a couple of more joined in including a couple, Mark and Michelle, who claimed they just joined Rotary.

“It was odd how Michelle dodged my question about how they got to Turkey in the first place!” Patricia comments laughingly.

It seemed like many people were joining the private guide walk and they were all Rotarians.

Marty talks about the next stop laughingly. “When we got in front of the amphitheatre, we stopped so I could get a picture of the exchange of Rotary club flags. It really wasn’t as important as just getting Pat to stop and be sure I kept her attention on the walk and off of any possibility of guessing what was going to happen. She doesn’t really like surprises and this was going to be big.” (introverts usually like a plan)

The larger group now, about 12 of them, walked just a little further. Marty then asked Pat to sit on one of the larger stones so he could focus the camera. She insisted it wasn’t necessary to sit to do this and refused. They both bandied back and forth for several times with “Sit,” then “no,” then “sit,” then “no,” and back and forth. Finally Marty had to make his move.

“The next thing I know is that Marty is down on one of his knees!” She was laughing yet confused. He pulled her down to sit on the rock. She looked at Marty, then the group and then back to Marty.” Then he spoke.

It turns out that while Patricia was planning the cruise over the course of the year, Marty was planning his surprise! With emails back and forth to his Turkish Rotarian friends, he knew the exact place to deliver his surprise with the most memorable meaning.

“Pat, would you marry me for another 40 years?”

She was practically hysterical and almost knocked her hat off of her head as her hands covered her face.

“What? Are you crazy!” she cried.

“No, really, would you marry me again?” repeated Marty.

Now she was bent over with laughter and not believing it she said, “Oh stop it!”

Then she heard Michelle call her name. “Pat, please say yes. If you say yes, then, well, Mark and I are not really Rotarians. We’re ministers here doing missionary work. And if you say yes, we’re all going to walk down to the Church of St. Mary and marry you again.”

It was Marty’s last chance. He asked her again, “Pat, would you marry me?”

By then Patricia was laughing with tears. Looking Marty straight in his eyes she said, “If it will get you back into church then yes, I will!”

Laughter, clapping and cameras snapped to capture the moment. It was a renewal of vows, at a most unexpected place in the world – the Church of Mary is the first known Christian church. And, with another 40 years ahead it was a most romantic gesture that any woman, or man, would always remember. Ask them in another 40 years!

If you want to continue to get ideas and tips to master yourself in any relationship as an introvert, or even shy, follow http://www.patricia-weber.com Patricia Weber helps introverts in particular, who are motivated for change, to discover their personal breakthrough to help reach their ultimate success.