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Most of the controversies need only apply common sense, but year after year, the sense appears to be diminishing. Here are some examples that have thankfully made a difference [names changed]: they may offend some, they may entertain others …

1/ Judy – wearing flip flops with a mini dress to a high end executive firm is inappropriate. Open-back rubber-soled thongs are more suitable for the beach. If comfort is your concern, look into Easy Spirit or Clarks. In addition, the hemline on your dress is far too short for a professional workplace. Hemlines need to hit within 2 inches of your kneecap. (However, if your kneecaps aren’t your ‘best feature’ – choose a longer hemline!)

Ladies, if your thighs are not your ‘best feature’, wearing a short hem shows a lack of good judgment [-that would be a ‘bad feature’].

Heed this advice: Focus on highlighting your best features.

2/ Charlie – your breath is not favorable. I realize that there could be many factors as to why you may have a problem. Stress, from my research, is often a huge factor…otherwise known as ‘sour stomach’. It could be that you need to floss more, brush your tongue, see your dentist, avoid onions –whatever it is! People cannot concentrate on what you are communicating. invest in Altoids & gargle regularly.

Focus on hygiene. Greasy hair is perplexing and makes people think you are unclean. Ditto body odor – if your regular deodorant is not capable of shielding odor, consider an alternative. [ie, Certain Dri]

3/Paul – while I appreciate that you “Love your Sexy girl”, having it tattooed on your forearm is more of a personal form of communication. In this office, individuals need to focus less on the personal and more on the professional form of communication. Your tattoos need to be covered. Just like low cleavage, and short shorts, tattoos signify nothing short of ‘individual style’ – uncover them after working hours! The focus from 9 to 5 should be on work, not personal forms of communication.

This absolutely includes facial piercings of any sort. The policy is not intended to offend anyone’s personal preferences; it’s intended to focus on the tasks at hand in a non-distracting atmosphere.

Many tattoos, piercings, neon colored spiked hair dos, excessive jewelry, overpowering scents, 4” fingernails, excessive make up, ‘nudity’ etc… are all examples of diverting attention away from the professional environment. The workplace is not a runway for crazy fashion statements.

4/Shandra –You have obviously worked very hard to build your abdominal muscles. Your cropped tops are not appropriate for the office. The more bare skin you show, the less professional/authoritative you appear…therefore, cropped tops, spaghetti straps, deep plunging tops, bare-legged and micro mini skirts will no longer be permitted in the office.

Under NO circumstance should an inflated jelly-belly be visible under a shirt of any kind ever. [this would be construed as a cropped top.] Yikes.

PLEASE NOTE: LADIES. There is a difference between a top and a camisole. Camisoles are designed for use under another top. They are skintight, sometimes have built-in bras, and have NO PLACE in the professional environment unless worn under another shirt, or blouse. These undergarments are also suitable for pajama tops. Make no mistake, if a top is suitable for sleeping, it does not belong at work.

5/Thomas. Every person struggles with something – most of us gain a few pounds here and there – it’s perfectly normal. The thing is, these same people have different sized clothing for when weight fluctuates. In other words, your clothes are being worn too tight. [The buttons are missing on your shirt because the threads are not bungee cords.] You would feel so much more comfortable if you could put on a trouser that did not hold you hostage…Together, let’s find you some temporary clothing that is more comfortable and hence more professional.

The conclusion: Dress to represent the image of your company.

Your personal style choices should stay in your social life because in your professional life – it’s not about ‘you’. It isn’t about ‘you’ until you leave the office, or… get your own company!

As Don Corleone would say – “It’s not personal; it’s just business.”

The HLN company is an image management firm for men, women, and kids. The office is located in Deerfield Beach, Florida. Visit www.theHLNcompany.com for more info.

Have you been invited to an event and had no clue as to what is actually appropriate to wear?

How a stylist breaks it down…

One of the first and most obvious is the small print on the lower right or left corner of the invite indicating the dress code – cocktail, formal, casual chic, business casual, business formal, festive…etc… [I especially adore the ‘Martini Chic’, ‘White Tie Smart’, ‘Miami Swank’ etc. these types of requested dress codes make me want to go even more!] The web offers images and definitions, but after that, you must decide -within those parameters- the brands and styles that work best for your physique and personal style.

Next, consider the appropriate fabrics and colors of the season, and, of course, the weather for what is appropriate to wear. Extra lightweight fabrics like linen/linen blends cotton, silk and lighter weight wool gabardine in summer… more gutsy fabrics like velvet in winter [and yes, velvet is only late November through first weeks of March]. Seasonal hues of color are usually obvious. When in doubt, rich jewel tones are timeless. The time of day for the event usually calls for different looks…morning affairs are more conservative than cocktail parties.. Florals tend to be more daytime than night, for instance.

The venue. Special affairs at country clubs typically hold more formal affairs than, say, banquet halls. A ceremony in a religious institution calls for more conservatively dressed-up looks than at a residence or courthouse. Think through the venue before you decide what to wear. Of course, the longitude and latitude dictates cultural details for the event …nowhere in the state of Kentucky would a female guest at a wedding wear head to toe black, yet in New York, just three states away, this is quite common. Just as Miami attire differs greatly from that of Boston. Scrutinize what NOT to wear. Especially when the affair is religious, be respectful. Choose conservative over your most fabulous…don the head covering if that is what is observed during this type of event.

The invitation itself: what is the weight of the card stock? The heavier the stock, the more dollars invested in the party – in general. What is the font of the print? A cursive font is more formal than block print. The all white with silver or gold colors on an invite typically reveal the formality of the affair. Invitations with lots of color tend to be more on the casual and or festive side.

Lastly, ask yourself what would you like to see your guests wear if you were hosting this celebration?? People who dress up show the host that they are adding ‘flair’ to the event…and, of course, well-dressed guests are perfect subjects for photographs showing a great time! One consideration is to visualize your entire look: your hair, outfit, accessories, and shoes – the whole photograph. Now pair that vision alongside this invitation: do they pair well together?

Hopefully, you know the person who invited you…determine from there the feel of their personality. The process above should alleviate most apprehension. However, it is not inappropriate to ask if you remain in doubt. All in all, anticipate those photographs!!

Questions pertaining to DRESSING APPROPRIATELY may be sent to tashia@theHLNcompany.com. (It’s better to know than not to know ~)

Tashia Rahl is the owner of The Hottest Latest Newest Company, inc [aka HLN] – the foremost dependable wardrobe management firm in SOUTH Florida. Providing styling advice across three continents to men, women, and kids since the mid 1980’s, HLN brings a life-long learning experience of ‘dressing to succeed’ in whatever your heart desires.

My parents were English Jewish hippies from North London in the 60′s who immigrated to Canada at the end of the flower-power decade to start a new life and try something different. Hence, a few years after they came to Canada and married, I was born. While I realized early on that my parents ‘talked funny’- their strong London accents are still with them today- otherwise, I adapted easily to being a Canadian. However, I was always aware of my British roots because so much of my family continued to live in England and starting at the age of 2, I began to visit England almost every summer during my childhood and teen years.

In fact, I cannot even count how many times I have come to this land! Since the age of 19, I’ve averaged one visit every second year, and more recently, once a year since my only surviving grandparent is here and I want to spend as much time with her as I can. In my teens, all four of my grandparents lived in London, as well as an aunt, cousin, uncle, and too many great aunts/uncles and second cousins to count- all of whom I am lucky enough to be close to thanks to so much time spent here while I was growing up.

Sadly, many of the elders have passed away, but I still have a number of relatives living here that I feel the need to visit yearly. It’s kind of weird when I’m in Canada and I meet someone with an English accent and get all excited and tell them about my Englishness because I have a Canadian accent (although I use a lot of ‘Englishisms’ in my speech) and also weird being in England, feeling like it’s my second home, and being seen purely as a Canadian, or ‘foreigner’. Sometimes I wish that I had been born and raised in England so that my accent matched that of my family and I felt as though I fit in a bit better, but then I wouldn’t have the wonderful life and opportunities living in Canada has afforded me (which are many).

It’s an odd feeling to feel homesick for two different countries, which are so unique and separate. While living in Canada, I comfort myself by watching BBC television and renting countless British films and reading as many English novels as I can get my hands on. I also like to bring back little trinkets for use in my home, which remind me of England (wanted to bring back matches but realized that these would most likely be confiscated at security on my journey back to Canada).

During my regular visits to England, I like to Skype people in Canada and read novels by Canadian authors and excitedly chat with random strangers in the street who are displaying a Canadian flag- I think I nearly caused a woman to faint with shock yesterday when I did this in a local supermarket- she wasn’t expecting such enthusiasm from a fellow Canadian…

It also causes much confusion to fellow Canadians that I am Jewish as well as partly British- for some reason they can’t understand how you could be both. It’s not strange to me as I know that Jews live all over the world, in many different countries and take on the accents/languages of that place and often move around a lot even once they’ve settled somewhere. We are, after all, a nomadic tribe.

I’m working on an exciting project regarding eating disorder activism in Canada and the UK and am hoping to bridge the two countries I have come to know and love so well together. We’ll see how that goes. For now, I’m going back to my granny’s for dinner, then hopping on a plane tomorrow morning back to Canada where I will jump into the arms of my dear hubby and relax once again on the small, laidback Canadian island we call home.

Esther Kane, MSW, Registered Clinical Counsellor, is the author of the book and audio program, “It’s Not About the Food: A Woman’s Guide To Making Peace with Food and Our Bodies” (www.endyoureatingdisorder.com) and “Dump That Chump”(www.dumpthatchump.com), and “What Your Mama Can’t or Won’t Teach You” (www.guidebooktowomanhood.com). Sign up for her free monthly e-zine, Women’s Community Counsellor, to uplift and inspire women at: http://www.estherkane.com.

In this article, I want to cover a topic that I’ve wanted to speak to for a long time- plastic surgery. I must confess that this is an area I gave little attention to in the past as I have been in my ‘prime’ for a good number of years being young with good skin and a curvaceous body. However, I have just turned 38 and with the increase of years have also come some things I hate to admit have shocked me to the core. These include:

*Weight gain that appears to take place just by LOOKING at fattening foods (I swear it’s true!)

*Gray hairs- at first manageable- all I had to do was use my trusty eyebrow tweezers and problem solved. Now, however, I risk going bald if I were to continue this practise.

*Breasts that have started to mimic the shape of pancakes and have definitely taken a downward turn (you know what I mean)

*Lines around my eyes and the skin surrounding my eyes staying in one place once I apply make-up for longer than I would like. It’s like watching a snail slowly migrate back into its shell once the cover-up is blended in.

*And horror of horrors-chin hairs!  No, I’m not kidding…and not the blond wispy things no one notices-these little buggers are thick and black and have the amazing ability to grow roughly half an inch overnight!

Add to this the countless stories I hear from clients and girlfriends about “getting work done” on their bodies. These range from groups of women, whom upon the dawn of their 50th birthday, get a face-lift, Botox injections in the face to reduce wrinkles, breast implants, to tummy tucks. I sit there trying to wipe the look of horror off of my face as I do my best to impart an attitude of empowerment and acceptance regardless of what choices women make in their lives.

I was at my local library recently and glanced along the shelves and found a new book out by Joan Rivers, the Queen of plastic surgery, which is a “guidebook” to getting plastic surgery. It was titled, “Men are Stupid and they Like Big Boobs”. She is 75 years old and has had so much plastic surgery that she looks somewhat cartoon-like and anything but natural. She doesn’t even look like a younger version of herself- she looks strange and almost doll-like and scarily unreal. Anyway, the book was co-written with some top cosmetic surgeons and boasts all of the “wonderful” advances available to women who want to change the way they look through plastic surgery. I particularly loved the part where she’s talking about one procedure and under “risks” she casually writes, “death”. Then without missing a beat, she’s onto describing the next “wonderful” procedure!

I don’t know about you, but I think DEATH is a pretty big risk!  It reminds me of the author who died a few years ago from liposuction- yikes. I don’t want to come off as being all fanatical and judgmental, because I truly believe that women are in charge of their bodies and it’s not my place to tell someone what to do with her body.

However, I do believe that the current obsession we have with looking younger (one writer calls the times we are living in, “age deceleration”- i.e., “forty is the new thirty” and so on) is a recent and ultimately, dangerous focus. Never before in human history have people been so terrified of getting old. It’s also true that we have never had such a long lifespan so perhaps this is a contributing factor as well.

My grandparents never considered plastic surgery and my 86-year-old grandmother is completely perplexed with this newfound obsession younger generations have with looking young for as long as they possibly can. I think that there are many factors at play here; most notably, the fear of death.

I know I’m terrified of dying and getting old. But I’m working through it. I want to be courageous enough to face getting older head-on without going under the knife or injecting poisonous substances in my body to appear younger. Honestly, I’m not looking forward to more gray hair, my body shape changing, and those lovely hairs on my chinny-chin-chin, but I’m going to do my best to ‘go natural’ and grow old gracefully. I am more than my body and so are you. Let’s all remember that.

Esther Kane, MSW, Registered Clinical Counsellor, is the author the book and audio program, “It’s Not About the Food: A  Woman’s Guide To Making Peace with Food and Our Bodies” (www.endyoureatingdisorder.com) and “Dump That Chump”(www.dumpthatchump.com), and “What Your Mama Can’t or Won’t Teach You”(www.guidebooktowomanhood.com).  Sign up for her free monthly e-zine, Women’s Community Counsellor, to uplift and inspire women at: http://www.estherkane.com.

This article is excerpted from the Fall 2009 Issue of WE Magazine for Women. To read the current issue (PDF) visit: http://wemagazineforwomen.com/pdfs/fall2009.pdf or http://www.rsszine.com/samples/Fall2009/ (Turning Page)

       Paul and Marie Gaglioti

As owner of Dieci Lifestyle Spa and Dieci Colori cosmetics and skincare, Marie Gaglioti is a formidable entrepreneur in the beauty industry.  Marie, along with her husband Paul, opened Dieci Lifestyle Spa in 1995 with over 20 years of experience in the beauty industry. Being a makeup artist herself, Marie wanted to share her wealth of knowledge by creating a make-up line, Dieci Colori, in 2003.  Marie and Paul established Dieci Lifestyle Spa and continue to work together to manage the spa while being mentors to the staff.

When Marie’s clients brought her makeup and were unsure how to use it, she knew she had an obligation to help them. After being pushed by her number one supporter Paul Gaglioti, she created a cosmetics and skincare line of her own that could be used at home without a full makeup lesson. Marie drew on her love of the Italian culture as inspiration and made the Dieci Colori line with her clients in mind. She created products that are rich in mineral pigment, hypoallergenic and formulated for a variety of skin types and age groups from the young to the young at heart.

Marie is in charge of a full staff comprised of makeup artists, hair stylists, and spa specialists all of whom Marie has personally specially trained and educated with Dieci Colori and Dieci Lifestyle Spa methods and techniques.  In addition to successfully running a full service salon and spa, Marie frequently gives back to the community through various charities.  As a ‘thank you’ to the nurses at a local medical center, Marie gave the group a complimentary makeup lesson and even provided one lucky nurse with a complete beauty makeover!  Most recently, Marie has donated her services and merchandise at a shopping expo, to help raise funds for Jersey Battered Women’s Service.

Dieci Lifestyle Spa creates profit through the many services available at the salon and spa, as well as through online sales on the Dieci Colori website.  Dieci Lifestyle Spa has a menu that offers 14 facial treatments, 11 massages, 8 body treatments, and 3 hydrotherapy tub therapies. The salon and spa has 40 hair and colour specialists, 4 manicurists, 4 massage therapists, 3 waxers, 3 estheticians, and 3 highly skilled makeup artists on staff.

Marie says one of the goals of Dieci Lifestyle Spa and Dieci Colori is for all of their clients to achieve that sense of personal satisfaction with their image through their treatments and services.  Marie believes the combination of a custom makeup line and the experts who will show you how to use it, is what sets Dieci Lifestyle Spa apart from other spas.

“Amore e baci” a Dieci Colori – in English, ‘With love and kisses from Dieci Colori.’

For more information visit www.diecicolori.com and  www.diecispa.com

Decisions, decisions…I am in my closet trying to decide what shoes I should wear for the activities that I will be doing today.  My footwear collection looks vastly different than it did as a child.  Like most other children growing up in the 1950’s, I owned only two pair.  One pair was for school and the other for church.  The shoes were purchased in September and had to last until Easter.  By summer, it was flip-flops or bare feet, except for that pair of patent leather, Sunday ones, which were beginning to get tight on my growing feet. 

It’s funny how history repeats itself.   Flip-flops have reinvented themselves and returned in an array of colors and styles and have once again found their way into my closet.  Only this time, they are on sassy platforms.  As I continue to survey the situation I notice that I have a certain proclivity for high heels. I feel a little guilty that a fitness specialist would treat her feet so badly, but I quickly ease the Eve syndrome by turning my attention toward my sneakers.  I justify the urge to purchase a new pair or two of sneakers by telling myself that “I exercise a lot”.  It’s time for some (as my friend Amy says), RETAIL THERAPY!

The problem is that it is getting harder and harder to find just the right sneakers for a specific activity.  Yup, I said for a specific activity.  Do you remember when Keds and P.F. Flyers were the only choices?  Well, things are different now.  Gym shoes are now called athletic shoes and the styles and selections can be mind boggling for the novice shopper.  If one doesn’t know a little bit about what they are shopping for, they might make a wrong choice and end up with aching feet and throbbing knees. 

Most athletic shoes are sport specific.  This means that if you are a runner, you need to buy running shoes that are designed specifically for flexion of the ankle.  To participate in an aerobic dance or step class wearing running shoes could do some serious damage to your knees.  To safely participate in those activities you would need to buy a studio shoe or a cross trainer, which are made for both lateral and forward/backward movements.  However, if you were playing basketball, volleyball, tennis or any other court sport, you would want to purchase a shoe to maximize speed and agility.  On another hand, take these same shoes to the soccer or baseball field and you could be in for a major fall.  And, can you imagine wearing those clunky aerobic shoes to go for a spin on your bike?  The handlebars are better left on the front of the bike as opposed to wrapped around your head!

When buying athletic shoes don’t be shy about asking the salesperson what type of shoe it is.  In sporting goods stores, most sales people are knowledgeable about the shoes the store sells.  The shoes should feel great on your feet the minute you get them laced up.  You should never have to break in a new pair of shoes before you actually wear them for the activity.  The exception to the rule is that you wouldn’t want to wear a brand new pair of shoes to run a marathon or another endurance activity or the result could be blisters.

Something else to consider is the brand name.  Just because a shoe is endorsed by a major league star doesn’t mean that it is the right one for your foot.  Try on different brands and see which one feels best to you.  A sneaker shouldn’t be quite so roomy as a dress shoe, because you don’t want your foot to slide around in it as you move through your workout or activity, putting you at risk for injury.

Orthopedic issues are a concern as well.  Some people have high arches, others flat feet.  Some are pigeon toed, others knock-kneed, while some are supinators or pronators.  Selecting a shoe that fits well and wears well is a great investment!  It pays to spend a little more for a shoe that performs.  Generally, a shoe will endure about 3-4 months of regular exercise.  I find that by rotating among two to three pairs of sneakers extends the life of each.  An athletic shoe will lose cushioning and support long before it looks worn.  If your knees begin to hurt check your shoes first and if that doesn’t remedy the problem, see a physician.

If you will excuse me, I think I will put on my high heels and go shopping for some snazzy new flip-flops.  I will probably grab a new pair of aerobic shoes while I’m at it.  See you at the mall!

Pam Archer is an accomplished public speaker, and a frequent radio and television guest.  She is an avid blogger and a newspaper columnist.

In addition to her event planning business, Pam has twenty years experience in the fitness industry.  Archer Fitness Consultants, Inc. umbrellas her videos, speaking appearances, personal training, and everything else she does in the fitness industry. She is also a contributing editor to WE Magazine for Women. To learn more about Pam visit http://www.pamelaseventdesign.com and http://www.idoweddings.wordpress.com

Do you have at least one garment in your closet that you never wear because it makes you look fat?  Maybe you take it out and try it on every now and then but it still doesn’t flatter. It doesn’t matter what you weigh you can easily make yourself look fat with the wrong clothes.

Learn these basic camouflage rules and you’ll never make the same mistake again.

1. Avoid anything stiff. A stiff garment forms a square box around you. It doesn’t fall into flattering loose folds but stands out on its own making even skinny people look large. Having a shape is important whatever your size.
 
2. The same goes for the large tents that we try to camouflage ourselves in. It doesn’t work we just look larger. Shape is needed. 

3. Other than in your accessories don’t wear anything shiny. Shiny is great for jewelry, bags, decorative motifs, scarves, but not for a whole garment. Shine reflects the light making you look bigger and showing every curve and bump.

To read the other Nine Ways, check out this month’s issue of WE Magazine for Women.