Ten Tips to Help Parents Plant the Philanthropy Seed

This Thanksgiving, help your children to follow in the footsteps of the holiday’s original Pilgrim and Native American celebrants by giving generously to others. Todd Patkin offers actionable ideas to help your whole family get started.

On Thanksgiving, many Americans are preoccupied with turkeys, parades, football games, and even Black Friday sales. It seems that over time, this holiday has become more about getting things—whether that’s food, entertainment, or bargains—than about giving thanks for what we already have. (And really, that’s just a reflection of our society’s general gimme-gimme-gimme attitude.) If you’re like most parents, you don’t want your kids to grow up focused solely on themselves, concerned only with the latest video game or with how they can get their way. You want them to feel genuine gratitude for the blessings they have and to demonstrate thought and concern for others.

According to Todd Patkin, there’s no better time than the Thanksgiving holiday to help your kids become less me-focused and more thoughtful.

“In general, I don’t believe that kids act selfishly because they genuinely don’t care about others—it’s more that they aren’t really sure how to help others and give back, because they aren’t being taught,” asserts Patkin, author of Finding Happiness: One Man’s Quest to Beat Depression and Anxiety and—Finally—Let the Sunshine In (StepWise Press, 2011, ISBN: 978-0-9658261-9-8, $19.95, www.findinghappinessthebook.com). “It’s crucial for adults—especially those of us who are parents—to start early when it comes to raising our kids with a passion for philanthropy, and Thanksgiving provides the perfect opportunity.”

Patkin speaks from experience—giving back to others, whether it’s in his own Boston “backyard”—near the site of the first Thanksgiving, incidentally—or in a foreign country, has become an integral part of his life. Many of the organizations with which he’s involved reach out to young people, and he says he’s amazed by how readily these children and teenagers embrace the principles behind selfless service.

“I’m convinced that the ‘me’ generation isn’t as egocentric at heart as it’s made out to be,” he confirms. “However, kids do need to be guided in a positive direction, and often, that starts in the home. Parents are the greatest influencers when it comes to developing their kids’ habits and behaviors—including cultivating a desire to give and to help others. If they see you giving back as a part of your regular life, they’ll learn that behavior and carry it with them into adulthood.”

Ready to help your child take the first steps from selfishness to selflessness? Then read on for ten ways that parents can get their children geared up for giving back:

Explain philanthropy to your kids. Before you and your kids get into the proverbial trenches, it’s important to first help them realize that giving back doesn’t just mean donating money, and that generosity is not limited to giving away things you no longer want. It’s important, especially when kids are young, to start with the very basics of why it’s important to give. For example, you might ask them, “If you did not have enough food to eat or warm clothes to wear on a cold day, wouldn’t you want someone (even if you did not know them) to help you so you got the food and warmth you needed?”

“Kids will usually do what you say they should while they’re under your roof, but they won’t continue to pursue philanthropy throughout their lives unless they understand the ‘why’ behind it,” Patkin confirms. “Explain the charity work you do to your child. Tell her why you do it and who it helps, and keep an open dialogue going in your household to help her understand what’s going on. The more questions your child has (and you answer), the better grasp she’ll have on the concept.”

It’s never too early to start (don’t wait until your kids are “old enough”). Empathy is a concept that children can learn from a very early age, so look for and take advantage of teachable moments. You can start with something as basic as encouraging small children to share with one another. Ask them to consider how they’d feel if they didn’t have a toy, and how their feelings would change if a friend gave them one, for example.

“You can find ways for children to volunteer their time at any age, all year round,” says Patkin. “Smaller children can help to sort recycling or contribute to decorating posters for a bake sale or other event. Once your kids get a little older, they can donate a portion of their holiday or birthday money to a charity, or they can choose a toy to donate to needy children. You can also involve your children in philanthropy through family-wide activities like sponsoring an underprivileged child during the holidays and helping to buy his back-to-school supplies, or going as a group to visit nursing home residents. This year, you might even volunteer to work at a soup kitchen before or after your own Thanksgiving meal.”

Make it a part of everyday life. As most parents know, you’ll probably never have as much time or money as you’d like, so waiting for “just a little more” of either is futile. When it comes to giving back, there is no better time to start than now, using what you already have! You don’t need to possess unlimited time or money to get involved—you can find smaller, simpler ways to make helping others a part of your everyday routine.

“When many people think of philanthropy, they picture big-money donations and orphanages founded in third-world countries—and those things certainly qualify,” Patkin acknowledges. “However, the everyday efforts of ‘ordinary’ people can also have an incredible impact. Just remember that since parents need to model good behaviors, you’ll need to walk the talk that you’re giving to your kids. The next time you’re grocery shopping with your children, for example, buy some extra canned goods and drop them off at a food bank on the way home in preparation for the Thanksgiving rush. Then encourage your kids to be giving during their own everyday tasks, whether that means sharing art supplies or helping clean up.”

Get kids involved in the process. The more you let your children become involved in the philanthropy process, the more they’ll be invested in what you’re doing. Bring your kids in from the beginning by allowing them to help choose which organizations the family volunteers for or donates to. They’ll feel more connected to the cause, and even the youngest members can be involved, even if it just means tagging along.

“It’s a good idea to sit down with your kids and ask them to identify a problem that they want to fix,” suggests Patkin. “If they’re very young, you might give them a few options to choose from, such as feeding people who are hungry or getting winter coats for people who don’t have them. Then you can all work on finding a corresponding organization. You might also think about volunteering to organize a charity project for your child’s classroom in order to kick off a ‘giving gang’—a group of peers doing charity work together. This will encourage the type of positive peer pressure the world needs more of!”

Reinforce the value of a random act of kindness. Giving back is not always about a charity organization, a monetary donation, or volunteering—in other words, things you schedule. Kids need to understand that having a heart for others, at its core, is a way of life, not a series of appointments on your calendar. Show them that helping someone else and not expecting anything in return can happen anytime, anywhere. (You might even use the original Thanksgiving story to illustrate the value of reaching out to others, especially those who are different from us.) In fact, it’s often the small everyday acts that give us the biggest returns in terms of fulfillment and happiness, and they are things that are easy for kids to recognize and take action on.

“Guide your kids by pointing out opportunities for them to take the initiative in engaging in random acts of kindness,” instructs Patkin. “When you’re out shopping, encourage them to help an elderly lady load her groceries into her car, and then offer to return her cart to the corral. Likewise, prompt your child to hold the door for a woman pushing a baby stroller, or whisper that he might offer the last piece of pizza to his younger brother. Soon, your kids will hopefully be taking the initiative all on their own!”

Understand (and explain) that philanthropy is not one-size-fits-all. Kids naturally have more aptitude for some activities than others. The child who’s a natural artist may be stymied and bored by the intricacies of baseball—and the same principle is true when it comes to giving back. It’s important to tailor philanthropic work to a child’s personality and interests. For example, you wouldn’t take your daughter to the animal shelter if she were afraid of dogs larger than a throw pillow!

“Just as the projects individuals take on aren’t one-size-fits-all, neither are the needs of the people these projects work to benefit,” Patkin points out. “It’s important to explain this state of affairs to your child, especially if she is younger. Talk with her about how different people and situations have different needs. Some might want a hot meal, for example, while others may want someone to listen to their problems. Some places need clothes while others benefit more from monetary donations, and so on. Help her to understand why it’s important for her to match her talents, passions, and beliefs to these needs.”

There’s no substitute for real-world experience. Encouraging your kids to earmark a percentage of their allowances or to donate some of their lesser-used toys to charity is a good start—but don’t stop there. If your children can see where their donations are going and how they’re actually helping others, the giving experience will be much more real. Consider taking a family trip to visit recipient organizations so that your children can see where the money goes.

“Visiting charitable organizations in person tends to take giving to the next level,” Patkin shares. “Whether you’re seven or seventy, you’re much more likely to stay involved in philanthropy if you can see how your efforts are actually making the world a better place. In order to keep the memories fresh, make a scrapbook of your child’s volunteering experiences. Also, you can look for real-world philanthropic opportunities that connect to your child’s interests and activities. If he has a school reading list, for example, you might tie projects into the books he’s reading. If one of them is about dogs, volunteer at the animal shelter!”

Make it a family affair. When you give back as a family, your kids will see Mom and Dad as role models. Bonus: You’ll all grow closer to each other because of this shared experience. Commit as a family to spend two days per month working with a charity or doing something to help others—even if that just means helping out elderly neighbors or volunteering at the church yard sale. You might also work together to raise money for a walk, fundraiser, or other project, then walk together on race day, or go together as a family to present the money you’ve raised.

“As with any change, start small and take baby steps,” encourages Patkin. “While you may not be ready to give up your family vacation for a volunteer trip, you can eat in one night and use the money you saved on eating out to help feed the homeless. After projects or events, always be sure to have a family meeting where you sit down with your kids to talk about what you’ve done, how it made them feel, and how it helped others. Helping your kids to acknowledge the accomplishment and the good feelings associated with philanthropy will encourage them to continue their involvement. Again, I encourage you to kick off this initiative during the Thanksgiving holiday. There are plenty of organizations that would welcome a family’s worth of helping hands.”

Help your kids to focus on how good it feels to give back. Everyone likes to feel good, and kids are certainly no exception! When they feel good about something, they—like you—will want to do it again. In fact, that good feeling will be the impetus that keeps your kids motivated to continue helping others even after you’ve relinquished oversight of their daily schedules. Help them to focus on how fulfilled they are when they are doing something to help others.

“Zero in on the warm fuzzies by talking about the excitement your kids are feeling on the way to donate that box of toys, or how happy they were when they were thanked for serving food at the local soup kitchen,” Patkin suggests. “Even more importantly, talk about those experiences fairly often to remind your children of how wonderful they were. Helping kids to acknowledge their philanthropic accomplishments and the good feelings associated with them will really encourage them to get hooked on helping!”

Make sure that your expectations are realistic. At the end of the day, kids are still kids. You can’t expect them to always want to donate their toys or to be able to sit still and pay attention through every single event or presentation. (Be honest with yourself—sometimes your own attention wanders, too!) Be conscious of your children’s ages and capabilities, and (without being too quick to exclude them from an activity or event that might not be “fun” from start to finish) keep in mind that your budding philanthropists are still kids.

“Ultimately, raising children who understand the value of giving back—and whose lives reflect that knowledge—is one of the most philanthropically minded things parents can do, and this holiday provides the perfect opportunity,” Patkin concludes. “Don’t forget that Thanksgiving isn’t just about ‘thanking’—it’s about giving as well. After all, the original celebrants gave their food and friendship to one another, and helping others is an American legacy I’d like to see continue. And from a parental point of view, you’ll be amazed at how rewarding it is to raise philanthropists, and how much stronger giving back makes your relationship with your kids.”

Todd Patkin grew up in Needham, Massachusetts. After graduating from Tufts University, he joined the family business and spent the next eighteen years helping to grow it to new heights. After it was purchased by Advance Auto Parts in 2005, he was free to focus on his main passions: philanthropy and giving back to the community, spending time with family and friends, and helping more people learn how to be happy. Todd lives with his wonderful wife, Yadira, their amazing son, Josh, and two great dogs, Tucker and Hunter.

“A noble person is mindful and thankful of the favors he receives from others”

With Thanksgiving right around the corner in the USA, it seemed only fitting that I thank all the people who have helped to make WE Magazine for Women what it is today; a successful, well-read, and highly visible magazine site for women. First and foremost thank you to the readers who subscribe to our RSS and stop by frequently leaving comments along the way. Of course, there would be no readers without the amazing editorial team we have who contribute to our content on a regular basis. Thank you for all you do to make WE magazine possible. Your dedication has helped us grow in ways beyond what one person alone could do.

Thanksgiving is, by far, my favorite holiday because it is the perfect time for self-reflection. A time to count our blessings and give thanks to all those who have helped make life a little easier, more bearable and worth living. In my home WE have several traditions at our thanksgiving table. They include a Thanksgiving Box which years ago graced our table and has never left. In that box are our wishes, hopes, dreams and gratitude. It’s like a workout for the soul. Everyone writes down at least one thing they are thankful for and puts it in the box and after dinner while we are sitting around waiting for our bellies to make room for desert we share those things we wrote down. It can be a real tear jerker or it can make us grin from ear to ear. I remember one Thanksgiving when my former father in law wrote: “I am thankful for my old car, my old broad and God.” I don’t think we ever laughed so hard – except maybe the old broad who was also sitting at the table .

One year we had rocks with a single word written on it and everyone picked a rock from the box. They then went around the table and told us what that word meant to them. My father drew “life” and he made us all cry with his heartfelt comments about how precious life was (and is).You can read my Father’s Day story ” A Tribute to Dad” to learn more about him.

This year we are doing something a little different. I have put together “conversation starters” in the form questions. Each person around the table will draw a paper from the Thanksgiving Box and read what’s on the paper, the object being to answer the question. For instance, one of the questions might be “Who are you thankful for?” or “What abilities do you have that you are thankful for?” In fact, I came up with 15 such questions. If you would like a copy of these questions, leave a comment below and I will send the list to you!

What I have learned about Thanksgiving is that it isn’t only about being grateful for those people, and things we have. It’s also about being grateful for the challenges in our lives. Those things that make us stronger and mold us into who we are today.

I have so many things to be thankful for, it would take me weeks to compile that list. My family, my friends, my husband, my health, my pets, the amazing women who have mentored me, and those I mentor, the people who serve in our Armed forces, the people who serve me at restaurants and department stores … so very many people to be thankful for. For now, I will say Thank YOU to everyone in print and over the coming days my goal is to connect with everyone individually and say thank you to each of you.

Giving thanks is the perfect way to begin a day and even better way to end it with.

A quote by Margaret Meade pretty much sums it up: “Never underestimate the power of a small group of committed people to change the world. In fact, it is the only thing that ever has.” Thank you for being those women (and a few good men) who continue to contribute to WE Magazine for Women. You have changed my world for the better.

Happy Thanksgiving…

With Warm regards,

Heidi

ps: If you’d like a little extra inspiration this Thanksgiving, check out the beautiful song THANKFUL by Michael Farr. You can find it below in our video post below and on YouTube here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bf1akDYakw

By Laura Yeh

The holidays provide a wonderful and natural opportunity for parents to introduce their children to music and the joy it can bring all their lives.

Christmas carols and other seasonal songs are meant to be sung and generally have a narrow range of notes, making them easy to play on simple instruments that young kids can learn. Families can listen to music together as they cook, decorate and wrap gifts. Babies and toddlers enjoy listening to all kinds of happy holiday tunes as a beginning to their music education. For tots, this can be the start of a stimulating new world.

Kids who learn to play a musical instrument use their brains in ways that boost their ability to learn in school. Music lessons and practice require them to use problem-solving skills as they break down complex passages into smaller parts, identify difficult parts and come up with solutions.

Music lessons and practice also help boost kids’ confidence, patience and persistence — character traits that help them in all areas of life, but not all families can invest the time and money required for lessons. For these families, the ocarina is a great first instrument.

The ocarina is a pocket-sized wind instrument that dates back thousands of years in cultures around the globe. Kids can generally pick out simple carols and folk tunes on the ocarina without the formal lessons required to learn to play more complicated instruments.

The ocarina also has a soothing sound that is great for small children and parents! It is different and unique in a way that kids are inclined to find it calming, whether they are playing or listening. It can also be very upbeat if kids want to play songs like Jingle Bells or Frosty the Snowman. Younger kids in particular love peppy music, singing and dancing with parents and having fun.

Parents and kids can also practice and learn together. This is one of the great opportunities of music whether families are singing, playing or even just listening: a time for families to be together in an unhurried, relaxed way. This is especially welcome during the busy holidays — a time to slow down and be together instead of running to the next activity.

Some kids will go on to become accomplished musicians, making music and performance a first love in their lives. Others will enjoy a more casual experience, picking up their instrument and playing just for the joy, relaxation and creativity of it. Either way, parents who share their love of music with their children give them a lifelong gift.

Here are some tips for parents who want to introduce their child to a musical instrument:

See which instrument excites your child. Taking your child to a concert is a great way to introduce a number of instruments at once. If they like a particular one, take them to a music store or someplace they can touch and try it. If they are not enthralled with a particular instrument, show them others until you find one that sparks their interest.

Find your child’s favorite style. Don’t be disappointed if classical violin or piano is not your child’s favorite. They can get the same benefits from learning various different styles of music. The idea is not to be too narrow or limiting but to let your child explore.

Make music part of your home life. Kids that have come to me from homes where families don’t sing often learn a lot slower than those from more musical families.

If mom has been singing to a child since infancy, the child will have a more developed sense of pitch and timing. Music is like a language. If you are really immersed in it, constantly listening to it, you are going to pick up the language much more quickly than by studying it as a separate part of your life.

Make the timing right. When a child can begin learning an instrument depends on the instrument and the child. For violin I recommend most students start between 3 and 5 before they have school and other activities vying for their attention. Depending on methodology, 4 or 5 is a good time to start learning piano or guitar. Students need to be a bit older for most wind instruments — about 7 for flute, about 9 for clarinet. The exception is the ocarina, which can be started as young as 3. Of course children can sing starting as babies.

Be involved with your child. It’s important for parents to be involved with their child’s music practice. Younger children especially won’t know how to practice without some parental guidance. Kids often want to play through a song – if they get stuck at a certain spot, their inclination is to go back to the beginning. Parents can help by encouraging them to work on the difficult parts separately, and then put them back into the song.

Laura Yeh is a performer and music educator trained in the Suzuki method of instruction who teaches violin and ocarina at the St. Louis School of Music to children as young as 3 and adults. Laura and her husband Dennis have collaborated with ocarina makers around the world to produce new models of the ocarina. They have designed and produced many unique and innovative ocarinas sold by STL Ocarina (http://www.stlocarina.com).

It is a question, rather, of where we think our happiness comes from. In these decades of ever-increasing wealth and ever-increasing consumption, our very definition of happiness has become hopelessly entangled with buying and owning material things.

In this time of economic uncertainty, shall we be dragged kicking and screaming away from our materialistic habits, or shall we embrace — at least with courage, better still, with enthusiasm — a new possibility?

1. Embrace the idea of God. The word “God” in English is unfortunate in that it has no specific meaning. God is not anybody’s dogma or creed. God is an experience of our own bliss nature. Let that be the holiness we strive for this Holy Day Season.

2. Give God a chance to speak to you.  Allow quiet to enter your life and the life of your family. We’ve become addicted to the constant stimulation of sound and images. Make it a Holy Day experiment. If you can’t simply be alone with your thoughts, use the time to read uplifting books, or to read aloud with your family.

3. Spend time outside, every day. Day or night, look at the sky, and take your children with you. Examine the stars (if you can see them) and notice the phases of the moon. Find some large or small patch of nature — a forest, an ocean, a park, a lawn, a tree, a rosebush, a potted palm. Feel the earth, stare at the sky, and watch your breath. In and out. The rhythm of the seasons and the stars are all reflected in the in and out of your own breath. Experience the holiness.

4. Create uplifting family experiences. Let at least some part of each of the Holy Days be a conscious celebration of higher realities. Go to a religious service together, if there is one that inspires you. Or create your own. Tell all those who are coming that you are going to make an altar together. Ask each one, including children, to bring something of beauty or inspiration to put on that altar. Ask each one to explain what he or she has brought and why it is meaningful.

5. Let there be Light. All the Holy Days at this time of year relate to Light. Christmas has the Star of Bethlehem, both Jewish Hanukah and Hindu Diwali are called the Festival of Light. The Winter Solstice marks the passing of the darkest day and the return of Light. It isn’t about what you call the Holy Day, it is how you experience it. Keep Light uppermost in your decorations, celebrations, and consciousness.

About the Author: Asha Praver is a wellness expert trained in yoga and meditation and is author of Swami Kriyananda as We Have Known Him.  Visit: www.AshaPraver.com.

More great holiday gift-giving articles and ideas can be found in  our new Holiday Gift-giving Guide at http://bit.ly/1Z6LSF

If you plan to visit ANYONE’S Home during the holidays, bring more than a suitcase!

Bringing a gift is more than a thoughtful gesture when visiting someone’s home, it is proper etiquette.  Especially if you plan an extended stay (beyond a dinner or party invitation).

Even if you are just going to someone’s for dinner, bringing a gift for the host/hostess is considered good manners, especially if you want to be invited back.

That’s not to say that the host/hostess expects a gift. On the contrary.  Many times I have visited friends and families homes bearing gifts and the first thing they say is “you shouldn’t have.”

Well, actually you should! In addition to displaying good manners, it expresses your gratitude for the invitation and ingratiates you in their mind. 

And by the way, it doesn’t have to be an expensive gift. It could be a simple as a bag of Starbucks holiday coffee blend, or a teacup and saucer with some choice tea blends. This “rule” applies if you are visiting an acquaintance, good friends and even family. 

So what if you are travelling far and don’t want to pack a lot of trinkets?  The next best thing would be to treat your host/hostess to a meal outside the home.  Or even a gift-certificate in a nice card upon your arrival.

And even if you are helping to prepare the holiday fare, it is still appropriate to bring a
small gift to the home where everyone will gather for the meal.

Other gift-giving suggestions include: Bagels, a box of donuts or other breakfast treat, a music CD, candles, notecards, candy, cocktail napkins or even a tea cozy.

I threw my husband a surprise party recently and several people brought gifts for him AND for me. TWO in particular that stand out; one  from a good friend visiting from Brazil. She found this beautiful silverware cozy made of fine linen from her native land and gifted that to me. It is something she knew I would love and treasure.  Her daughter brought me a pair of lovely earrings from the same region.  If you know your host well enough, you can personalize the gift.

Remember, you don’t have to spend a fortune, just be sure the gift is thoughtful, appropriate and in good taste.  Flowers also go a long way to say thank you for having me in your home. Be sure that if you do bring flowers either have them already arranged or offer to arrange them for the host. It is not a good idea to add extra work to a host who is already busy entertaining. Books, a bottle of wine and even a basket of fruit are also in good taste, especially if you know the host/hostess well and are in tune to what they like.

If you would like a refresher on proper etiquette or just need some more ideas, here’s a great book on the subject: The Everything Etiquette Book: A Modern-Day Guide to Good Manners by Leah Ingram.
 
©Heidi Richards Mooney – is a Motivator, Social Media Consultant and the Author of 7 books including: “Quirky Marketing – 365 Ways to Grow Your Business Using Zany and Non-Traditional Holidays.”  She is also the Publisher of WE Magazine for Women. Stop by http://www.speakingwithspirit.com to get a FREE copy of YOUR Marketing Calendar today!
 
More great holiday gift-giving articles and ideas can be found in  our new Holiday Gift-giving Guide at http://bit.ly/1Z6LSF

Here’s the details:

If you can’t elevate the painful thoughts about your past, you stay stuck where you are … or even slip backwards.

You can elevate your consciousness to remove self-doubt, get rid of money fears and attract people you love to be with in personal and professional relationships.

Imagine being able to attract personal and professional relationships you love, rather than settling for painful relationships because your parents had an unhealthy relationship.

http://www.heart-based-service.com/expo/Mooney < == FREE real help

Do you know you have the power to eliminate obstacles and struggles?

Whether you are facing financial challenges, family problems, illness, addictions, bad work situation or painful relationship – solutions are only a thought away.

How is this possible?

Find out in the all-new Heart Based Service Expo.

Joining me at the no – cost, live, online Heart Based Service Expo with an amazing lineup of 20 handpicked speakers.

Check them out here: http://www.heart-based-service.com/expo/Mooney

Each of these experts are opening their hearts and sharing their wisdom – sharing the steps to success, revealing how to overcome obstacles and solve problems to achieve your dreams.

This is a complimentary event that is online, so you don’t have to travel.Money is not an excuse. You can do this.

Plus the recordings of the presentations are available for 48-hours after each presentation … again at no charge.

This expo is truly heart-based service in the highest good for all.

See for yourself at http://www.heart-based-service.com/expo/Mooney

Hope to share this special event with you!
 
Heidi Richards Mooney, Publisher
WE magazine for Women

P.S. Even though the Heart Based Service Expo is free to listen to and ask questions of the experts and you even get replay lines of the presentations at no charge, like all expos, there are great offers made during the event.

So in the spirit of providing you with all the details, when you click on the link above, depending on whatever extras you might choose, I might or might not receive some form of compensation.

Whether or not that happens, I’m just thrilled to be a part of and to invite you to such an incredible event.

So check it out today at http://www.heart-based-service.com/expo/Mooney

The Heart-Based Service Expo and other great holiday gift-giving ideas can be found in  our new Holiday Gift-giving Guide at http://bit.ly/1Z6LSF

When it comes to holiday greeting cards, to send or not to send is often the question. Once you have decided in the affirmative, you then have to determine who to include on your list, what kind of card to choose and how to address the envelope.

There are lots of reasons for sending those holiday cards. You might want to enhance your current business relationships, attract new customers, remind old clients that you exist or show appreciation to those who have faithfully supported you during the year. What is obviously a well-meaning gesture can actually offend the people you want to impress when it is not done properly.

The first place to start is with a good quality card to show that you value your clients and colleagues. Skimping on your selection can be interpreted in a number of ways. Your recipients might take it as a sign that business has not been good or that they aren’t worth a little extra investment on your part.

Make sure your list is up-to-date with correct names and current addresses. If you do this on a regular basis, it does not become a dreaded holiday chore. As you gain new clients and contacts throughout the year, take a few minutes to add them to your database and mark them for your greeting card group. This way you won’t overlook anyone or embarrass yourself by sending the card to the old address.

Sign each card personally. Even if you have preprinted information on the card such as your name – which is an impressive detail – you need to add your handwritten signature. The most elegant cards should still have your personal signature and a short handwritten message or greeting. Sound like a lot of trouble? If the business or the relationship is worth it, so is the extra effort. This is your chance to connect on a personal level with your clients and colleagues.

Take the time to handwrite the address as well. If you are ready to throw up your hands at this point and forget the whole project, then have someone else address the envelopes for you. Whatever you do, don’t use computer-generated labels. They are impersonal and make your holiday wishes look like a mass mailing. You may save time and even money, but lose a client or a business associate in the process.

You may mail your greeting to the home if you know the business person socially. Be sure to include the spouse’s name in this instance. The card is not sent to both husband and wife at the business address unless they both work there.

Whether you are addressing the envelope to an individual or a couple, titles should always be used. It’s “Mr. John Doe,” not “John Doe,” or “Mr. and Mrs. John Doe, rather that “John and Mary Doe.”

Be sensitive to the religious and cultural traditions of the people to whom you are sending your cards. Find out whether they observe Christmas, Hanukah or Kwanzaa and make sure your message is appropriate for each individual. If you decide to go with one card and a single message for all, choose a generic one that will not offend. “Season’s Greetings” and “Happy Holidays” are both safe bets.

Mail your greetings in time to arrive for the designated holiday. If you find yourself addressing the envelopes on Super Bowl Sunday, keep the cards until next year and send out a high- quality note thanking people for their business during the previous year instead. The best way to avoid the last minute greeting rush is to have all your envelopes addressed before Thanksgiving.

Then during December you can leisurely write a short message – one or two lines are all that is necessary on each card, sign your name and have them in the mail with a minimum of hassle.

You now have all the time in the world for the shopping, baking, decorating and celebrating that accompany the holiday season.

Additional Tips for Addressing Envelopes

If you are about to address your holiday greeting cards or the invitations to the company party and you are confused about the correct way to do it, you are not alone. There are situations that we have not had to consider before. There are more women with professional titles, increased numbers of women who retain their maiden name after marriage, and couples choosing alternative living arrangements. The simple act of addressing an envelope has become quite complicated. Here are a few tips to cover the majority of those demanding dilemmas.

Always write titles on the envelope. The card or invitation goes to “Mr. John Smith,” not “John Smith.” It is addressed to “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith,” instead of “John and Mary Smith.”

When you address a couple, use titles, rather than professional initials. It’s “Dr. and Mrs. John Smith,” not “John Smith, M.D. and Mrs. Smith.”

If both the husband and the wife are doctors, you write, “The Doctors Smith.” However, if they use different last names, you address the envelope to “Dr. John Smith and Dr. Mary Brown.” The husband’s name is placed first.

If the wife is a doctor and the husband is not, you send your invitation to “Mr. John Smith and Dr. Mary Smith.”
Try to get it all on one line. When the husband has an unusually long name, the wife’s title and name are indented and written on the second line:

The Honorable Jonathon Richardson Staniskowsky and
    Mrs. Staniskowsky

When a couple is not married and share a mutual address, their names are written on separate lines alphabetically and not connected by the word “and.”
Ms. Mary Brown
Mr. John Smith

When the woman outranks her husband, her name is written first. It’s “Major Mary Smith and Lieutenant John Smith.”
Note: The man’s name is always written first unless the wife outranks him or if the couple is unmarried and her last name precedes his alphabetically. So much for “Ladies first.”

Lydia Ramsey is a business etiquette expert, professional speaker, corporate trainer and author of “Manner That Sell – Adding The Polish That Builds Profits”. She has been quoted or featured in The New York Times, Investors’ Business Daily, Entrepreneur, Inc., Real Simple and Woman’s Day. For more information about her programs, products and services, e-mail Lydia or visit her web site www.manners thatsell.com.

HOLIDAY SHOPPING IDEAS:

NewspaperARCHIVE, the largest historical newspaper database online, contains nearly 100 million newspaper pages from 1759 to present. Every newspaper in the archive is fully searchable by keyword and date, making it easy to quickly explore historical content, discover family roots, and share with friends.

Personal Creations Personalized gifts for all of Life’s Specials Occasions. Select from over 3,000 gifts for weddings, new baby, graduation, communion, confirmation, birthdays and all holidays.

For more great holiday shopping ideas, check out the Premier Issue of the Women’s Holiday Gift-Giving Guide here: http://bit.ly/1Z6LSF

Note: When you purchase products from some of the holiday gift suggestions,
WE Magazine may make a small commission or referral fee.

 Harmonious Holidays – Reality, not a Dream! Do your family gatherings result in more stress than harmony? We are never more aware of these facts than at holiday season, when all of the family is together. Nonetheless, there are ways you can prepare your home so the holidays proceed more smoothly and happily. Feng Shui has some uncomplicated, practical solutions for creating harmony for your home this holiday season.

Eliminate clutter. As holiday decorations come out, some everyday items may have to be stored to prevent overloading your environment, creating disharmony and preventing the flow of positive energy. The holidays can bring with it an entirely new opportunity for clutter to enter your home.  It comes in disguised as gift wrap, Christmas cards, party invitations, decorations, unwanted gifts and the list is endless.  Try to manage what enters your home so that you avoid feeling totally overwhelmed by the experience.  For Feng Shui harmony in the home, the goal is a clutter free environment – a welcome sanctuary from the hectic outside world.   

Holiday Decorating Your choice and placement of decorations is vital to the ambiance of your home and to the harmony of those who enter. Too many bright colors can create an overly stimulating environment and increase the risk of tension. While you may love the bright reds, greens and golds of the holiday season, these colors enhance existing energy and should be balanced with more calming colors, such as cream, blues and pale shades.

The Christmas tree is a powerful focal point in your holiday décor. There are three favorable locations to consider for your tree. First, is the center section of the left side of your home, where it will promote family togetherness. The next is the far left corner of your home, where it will encourage abundance and prosperity. Finally, the center portion of the far wall of your home can invite fame. When decorating your tree, consider applying Feng Shui colors for beneficial results. Red is the most popular color for the holidays, but avoid overdoing it.  Red is of the fire element and can bring about unwelcomed stress and anxiety. But, then again green represents the wood element that can help calm your home as well as be nourishing to your health. Blue is a water element color and can also have a very calming and soothing influence. Living plants are providers of fresh, vital chi, and adding Christmas plants to a room is a wonderful Feng Shui cure. Mistletoe is thought to inspire tranquility and a peaceful state of mind, as well, it is believed by some to be a magical, healing plant. Holly is a sign of good wishes towards all. The red Poinsettia represents love and passion.  You might also include wood in your decorations such as a wreath, to help promote harmonious family gatherings.

The Holiday Dinner Table A festive table set with shiny items such as silver serving pieces, sparkling crystal, and china, add excitement to the holiday dinner. Using candles will emanate a natural energy and enhance the soothing effects of dimmed lights. Dress the holiday dinner table by striking the perfect balance between the fire element of red napkins for a festive mood and the calming elements of green and cream colored linens. Round or oval tables are the best for Feng Shui friendly dining. In fact, circular shapes are symbolic of eternal unity and intimacy. If you do have a rectangular dining table, to ensure that everyone gets along, set your table with a cloth table to smooth the hard edges. Make sure your guests are not seated too close to the corners. This can cause a feeling of agitation and if people feel uncomfortably confined, they will be more likely to argue.

Gift Giving Looking for the perfect Christmas or Hanukkah gifts? The gifts you choose may have a great deal of hidden meaning according to Feng Shui. Here are some gifts to avoid giving and options for reversing the hidden message in these gifts if you receive them:

Steer clear of giving an empty wallet, purse, or briefcase as a gift, as it symbolizes the lack of prosperity. Instead, fill it with dollar bills, or coins to send the message that your gift will always be abundant with wealth for the recipient. In the West, timepieces are quite popular gifts. These include: alarm clock, wall clock, pocket watch, and wristwatch. Timepieces measure the passage of time and this subtly suggests a limited lifespan, which is very inauspicious. It is not recommended to give knives, scissors, or letter openers as gifts since they denote cutting a relationship. If you are the recipient of any of these gifts, hand over a coin to the giver to symbolize that you bought the item, and nullifies the negative effects.

Re-gifting is Feng Shui-friendly because it eliminates things that are not valuable to you and could be thoroughly enjoyed by someone else. Just be sure to avoid re-gifting if you have negative feelings about the gift or its original giver, since you might be passing along your negative thoughts to the next recipient.

 What is Christmas?

 ”It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present,

hope for the future. It is a fervent wish

that every cup may overflow

with blessings rich and eternal,

and that every path

may lead to peace.”

 -Agnes M. Pharo

 Michelle Luongo, is a Certified Feng Shui Practitioner, founder of Balanced Living, Inc., and the Director of the East Coast Academy of Feng Shui. She is recognized for blending real-life situations with Feng Shui knowledge while offering her unique combination of skills that create innovative and practical solutions to a multifaceted teachings and consulting.  Visit her online www.balancedlivinginc.com or call 888-272-7094

For more great holiday shopping ideas, check out the Premier Issue of the Women’s Holiday Gift-Giving Guide here: http://bit.ly/1Z6LSF

That’s the theme for the Winter Issue of WE Magazine for Women (over 40).

And these are three things women are REALLY GOOD at!

Communication: We women love to share what we know with others. We want to make the world a better place, make it easier for one another to do things. Think about it.  Women have been sharing since the beginning of time. First sharing husbands (when everyone had multiple wives), sharing the raising of families, sharing recipes and so much more. And we love to TALK!  In fact, studies have shown that on average women speak about three times more than men. In the book The Female Mind, the author Dr Luan Brizendine says women devote more brain cells to talking than men.  It goes on to say women also speak more quickly, devote more brainpower to chit-chat – and actually get a buzz out of hearing their own voices.  That explains why I read my editorial aloud before actually publishing it J.

Collaboration:  We women love to collaborate with others. We love the idea of us joining forces and making the sum of our talents work together to make new and wonderful things we could not make alone.  Especially online. Think about some of the communities you are a part of. I am part of the Women’s eCommerce Association and our members are always finding ways to work together to host events, co-author books, work on projects and more.  We enthusiastically give referrals to benefit our own circles, we like to barter things we have for things we want and need, we mentor one another, share resources and we will even partner with men if it helps us each achieve our goals. When we women collaborate, the sky’s the limit!

Celebration:  We women love to celebrate. We celebrate just about anything.  Holidays, weddings, divorce, birthdays, births, anniversaries, starting a business, selling a business, going to work, Mondays, Fridays, the weekends, our family and friends, citizenship, our countries, elections, each other, the perfect dress (or shoes) garage sales, getting organized, when our plants live, our first sale, our first client,  loosing weight, a good hair day, and more. We celebrate with chocolate, tea parties, martinis, new shoes, jewelry, a massage, a trip … you name it!  If it means something to us, we celebrate it.

This issue is filled with talented women who know how to communicate, collaborate and celebrate. 

To grab your copy go to http://wemagazineforwomen.com/WEMagazineWinter2008.pdf.

As a new year begins, we honor and thank our editorial team, our new contributing authors, our Women on a Mission, our advertisers and most importantly our readers! Thank you for being one of us.

Wishing each of you a wonderful, peaceful and prosperous New Year!

Heidi

Heidi Richards Mooney, Publisher & Editor-in-Chief

In the dark days of December comes the wonderful holidays of the Judeo-Christian faiths. Gathering with family and friends during the holiday season is a very special time of good cheer and holiday festivities.  Everyone seems to make a concerted effort to gather with loved ones…to visit and share stories, support each other, sing carols and to give and receive gifts. Christmas is a time of joy.  Our carols call us to rejoice.  Our Christmas cards are covered with such cheerful words as “Merry Christmas,” “Joy to the World,” and “Happy Holidays.”  Something about the holiday season stirs up joyful emotions; and the reason that we celebrate causes us to overflow in acts of charity, hospitality, and generosity.

For Christians, Christmas has the religious significance of the birth of Christ. It is a holy and peaceful time of the year, with the miracle of His birth representing love and light. Hanukkah is celebrated in Jewish homes. This holiday was originally known as the “Festival of Lights”, and as part of their rededication ceremony the Jewish people began an 8-day purification rite, only to discover there was barely enough sacred oil to keep the temple menorah – a candelabrum with eight branches lit for one day.  Miraculously, the temple lamp burned continuously for eight days.  Ever since that time (165 B.C.) the Jewish people have observed Hanakkah in remembrance of their struggle for religious freedom and the miracle of restoration, symbolized by the abundance of oil.

For all faiths, this is a time to be even more grateful and appreciative of all of the blessings in our lives.  Feeling grateful or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life.

I would like to share some reflections with you for you to ponder over the holiday season:

Scripture Reading:

Give and it will be given to you.  For with the measure you give, it will be measured to you.  Luke 6:38

Christmas Blessing:
 
“God grant you the light in Christmas, which is faith; the warmth of Christmas, which is love; the radiance of Christmas, which is purity; the righteousness of Christmas, which is justice; the belief in Christmas, which is truth; the all of Christmas, which is Christ.”   Wilda English

Christmas Prayer:

A prayer for meditating on the light of love……

“Christmas lights shining bright, remind us of the birth of Christ.
 Opening hearts wide to love, with brightened light shone from up above.
This family and friends time of year, reminds us each of what is dear.
That caring, sharing from our heart, is true love’s action we impart.
With kindness uppermost in mind, contentment and joy we always find.
Lighting up our lives this way, gives Christmas to us every day!”     Susan Kramer
Here is a prayer of thanks that you might share at your table before your holiday feast:

Dear Gracious and Loving God, 

Thank you for the gift of family and friends, may we always be there for one another.
Thank you for this wonderful meal, food to nourish our body for health and strength.
Thank you for all of our gifts and talents, we know that they are gifts from You to be used for others, as we respond in love.
Lord of our heart, give us wisdom to direct us and courage to strengthen us.
Lord, thank you for the many blessings that you have given us…may we always be grateful and remember to show our love and light to each other and to You.    Amen

However you choose to celebrate the holiday season this year, take time to reflect on all of the abundance currently in your life and create a vision for yourself and your loved ones for a peaceful, happy, prosperous, and healthy 2009.

Copyright Karen Zizzo 2008.  All rights reserved.  Karen Zizzo is an Author, Inspirational Speaker and Life Coach.  Karen delivers presentations and writes books to share her knowledge and personal experiences about how to face life’s challenges and obstacles with faith, hope and love.  Karen can be reached at 1-800-538-5194 or karen@karenzizzo.com.