What is my purpose in life?

Deepak Chopra says: “An important part of our purpose in this life is to discover our purpose, and Lissa Coffey shows us how to do that in her beautiful new book “What’s Your Dharma?”

Something within each of us yearns to find meaning in our lives, and to discover the reason we are here in this time and place. The search for purpose is age-old, and it compels us to move forward, to learn and to grow. Lissa Coffey, well known for her inspiring blend of ancient wisdom and modern style, brings us Vedanta’s Four Yogas, and explores how each one can help us to define our unique purpose. What’s Your Dharma? guides us on a journey of self-discovery, and shows us how to create a lifestyle where we can express ourselves creatively and feel fulfilled.

To help celebrate the launch of her new book, Lissa has lots of fabulous gifts for you with your purchase today. In addition, you can be entered into drawings to win some amazing prizes. All the info is here: http://www.whatsyourdharma.com/promo/index.php

Rose heard something; she stopped rinsing Joseph’s overalls. A frightening horror was coming toward her. She determined at that second she was going to die.

A large brown bear stopped and stood up on his back feet and then opened his large mouth. This was the largest, most vicious-looking creature she had ever read about. She had read that brown bears love to chase, and so she knew that she could not run.

Quickly but quietly, she moved into the water. Rose had been a tiny little girl when she first learned to swim. In the water, she was never afraid.

She could hear the bear coming fast. Rose submerged to the bottom and swam underwater as long as she could hold her breath. She came to the surface without splashing because she did not know where the bear was. He was nowhere in sight. Rose looked around and did not see it.

The first noise Rose heard was a heavy breathing sound, followed by a mean growl. Her clothes were dripping and felt heavy. Her first instinct was to hide, but when she turned her head the bear was already coming. The barn and corral were the closest buildings, but then the horses, cow, and chickens would be his spoil. Rose knew she could notget to the cabin before the bear overtook her. The only building she could possibly reach was the outhouse.

As she stepped in, her hand grabbed the door and pulled it upright. The door was sagging with the one hinge. She held onto it while bracing herself. Within two minutes, the bear was there. He sounded out of breath. He was making all sorts of cruel noises. This savage beast was not going to give up. Rose had read many stories about bears. She knew he would not eat her, but could tear her body apart.

The bear stood up on his back legs and put his weight against the outhouse. His claws were pushing and scratching on the boards over her head. The building began to squeak and vibrate with his weight. If he tipped it over, she had no chance at all to survive. 

Her body was frozen with fear. Her hands felt numb and they were red from holding the door closed. Suddenly Rose heard the terrible sound of wood cracking and the bear’s paw broke a board. His paw, with large long black claws, was within inches of her arm.

He pulled his paw back. She heard a different sound coming from him. It was as if he were moaning. Rose looked toward the opening that the bear had made with his paw. On a board sticking up was blood. He had cut his paw open on the petrified boards. 

Rose remained in the outhouse for some time, peeking out of the opening.

When she calmed down and worked up enough nerve, she opened the door slowly.

One foot at a time, she stepped out. The first thing she noticed was a small trail of blood leading away from Joseph’s homestead.

 After Rose told Joseph about the brown bear, he was adamant that she learn to use a gun. Rose wanted to tell him that she knew already, but couldn’t. Joseph explained, The bear could have wandered out of the Colorodo mountains and probably was trying to find his way back.” Joseph hoped that they would never see it again. Rose knew she would carry the memory of the bear for the rest of her life.
Phyllis A. Collmann is a retired nurse from Northwest Iowa.  She and her husband, Colin, have four children with grandchildren and great grandchildren galore.  Phyllis and Colin have been married for nearly 60 years and they continue to live on their farm.  She has created a series of pioneer stories and there are now eight books in the series.

…and Grilled Lime Chicken with Tropical Salsa By Susan Nelson

Airlines are so far out of hand with their rules and hidden, or blatantly exhibited fees, that I’d rather ride by yak to New York than go through the hassle involved in boarding a plane. A couple of days ago I read that Malaysia Airlines has decreed that no infants can ride in first class. I get the basic premise because I’ve been on long flights with screaming children and understand that it’s about as pleasant as having an ingrown toenail, and worse if it’s your child doing the screaming, but what are we to do if we have to go from Point A to Point B and have chosen to reproduce? Maybe that commercial that aired recently with the little kid dressed in a dog costume and packed in a pet carrier isn’t too far of the mark. Someone suggested to me that they have airplanes that are “child friendly” and those for adults only. Really? The yak is just looking better and better.

In my misspent youth I applied to one of the larger domestic carriers for a position as a flight attendant. Job requirements for the position were a little stricter back in the day. If your weight wasn’t in proportion to your height you got fined, and if it got out of line with the corporate parameters you got grounded or worse. Uniforms were a little more “Judy Carne-ish” from Laugh In, for those of you that remember her and I was surprised to learn during the interview process that each employee was responsible for buying all their own uniforms, special luggage, etc., required for the job. In particular, I was interested in getting involved in their mainland to Hawaii flights, but it was explained that when you’re a newbie you are more likely to find yourself on a red-eye to Des Moines than sipping Mai Tai’s on Waikiki. Still, I would have liked to have given it a go, but my husband did not share my enthusiasm and so I bid a fond farewell to my short-lived but much coveted career in the clouds.

Since then I’ve flown to Hawaii on four occasions and loved it each time. What’s not to love, really? I read somewhere that those living there are among the happiest citizens in the U.S., and I can’t say I choked on my English muffin when I heard this news. Beautiful beaches, beautiful people, tourists with money to spend coming and going on an hourly basis, abundant vibrantly colored flowers, cattle ranches, amazing surf, paradise in a bag. The cost of living from what I understand is incredibly high, but perhaps the quality of living balances the scales. On pondering it, I suppose I’d rather be eating a Ball Park frank underneath a swaying palm overlooking the clear blue Pacific than dining on escargot watching my neighbor do Pilates in his boxer shorts out my dining room window.

But, I digress, On my third trip there I visited with my second husband. Please refer to your scorecard. It was my first opportunity to fly first class, and coincidentally lined up directly up with my last opportunity to do the same. This was back in the day, the early 1980′s, when airlines still provided food for their passengers and those same passengers were actually treated like customers instead of a herd of unruly Hereford’s. Before we took this trip I never understood why anyone would choose to pay the considerable extra money required for the privilege of flying “up front” with the special people. My husband flew extensively for business so we’d taken an upgrade that cost us nothing but flying miles. On boarding the plane, before I’d even placed my purse under the seat in front of me, we were handed a glass of mimosa and there was a light snack consisting of a huge bowl of macadamia nuts and some breakfast breads. I liked it. In coach you are tossed a small bag with approximately five nuts tucked inside and you dig in your pocket if you want to wet your whistle. I was hooked. Sign me up. Now that I think of it Malaysia Airlines has a point, just tuck the kiddies in coach with their nanny and bring on the mimosa.

That trip was memorable, for several reasons. On the flight over we were told we were in for some “slight turbulence”, or so the voice over the P.A. identifying himself as the pilot, described the situation. Now, I’m a white knuckler kind of flyer, so for me if I’m in a large tube flying high over nothing but a huge expanse of ocean, no turbulence of any kind no matter how “slight”, no rivets that aren’t fastened correctly, and no tears no matter how minute anywhere in the skin of the airplane, are acceptable to my mind. The flight attendants had just handed us our drinks, which incidentally were served in actual glass glasses, when the fasten seat belts sign came on. They announced that all in-flight services would curtailed until we passed through the bit of rough weather ahead. Okay. About ten minutes later the plane was shaking like a paint can at Home Depot. After my kidneys had relocated to my chest cavity and I thought it couldn’t get worse, the plane took a sudden deep dip causing the liquid in my husband’s drink to suspend in midair while the glass remained in his hand. The tray table closed and then opened without assistance, and a stewardess trying to belt herself into her seatbelt rose in the air as though weightless, knees still bent as if she remained seated. Mommy.

Several overhead bins popped open spewing pillows and coats on the floor and passenger’s laps, and just when I started atoning for my past sins we found ourselves in smooth air once again leaving the passengers and crew shaken but not stirred. Once order was restored, and nerves calmed, they served us a delicious prime rib dinner on real dishes and thankfully we landed uneventfully some time later in the airport on Oahu. I believe I kissed the tarmac when I stepped off the bottom step. After having our picture taken with a complimentary lei around our necks we were shuttled to the Hilton Hawaiian Village to enjoy the first leg of our trip. This only marred by the fact that our luggage, it appeared, had decided at the last-minute to catch a flight to Seattle so other than the shorts and tops we were wearing we didn’t have so much as a toothbrush. Thankfully, everything showed up in the morning and from that point on our trip was nearly perfect.

This recipe brings me to mind of balmy summer days and white sandy beaches. Aloha.

Grilled Lime Chicken with Tropical salsa

4 boneless, skinless, chicken breasts
2 tsp. lime zest
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
1 clove garlic, minced
1 Tbsp. olive oil
1/2 cup freshly squeezed lime juice
1/3 cup honey
2 kiwi fruit, peeled and diced
1/2 small papaya, peeled, seeded and diced
1/2 small mango, peeled, seeded and diced
1/3 cup red onion, diced
1 Tbsp. cilantro, coarsely chopped
1 jalapeno, seeded and chopped fine

In shallow dish mix together lime zest, salt, pepper, oil and garlic. In medium bowl whisk together lime juice and honey until well blended. Whisk half of this mixture into oil mixture in shallow dish. Reserve other half of lime juice/honey mixture for salsa.

Add chicken breasts to mixture in shallow dish.

Add fruit, onion, cilantro and jalapeno to reserved lime juice/honey mixture for salsa. Stir to mix well. Refrigerate for 1 hour.

Grill chicken over medium heat for 15-20 minutes or until juices run clear and internal temperature registers 170 degrees. Spoon salsa over top of each breast. Serve with a spinach salad with fresh strawberries and mandarin oranges for a nice touch. Serves 4.

If you’ve been afraid to act on your great business idea, Michael Feuer says now—yes, NOW—is the time to make your move. To help you get started, he offers a few of the lessons he learned building his own well-known, successful businesses.

Be your own boss. It’s a version of the American Dream that most people have fantasized about. Unfortunately, to many would-be entrepreneurs, getting past the dreaming phase and into the doing phase seems insurmountable—especially in a shaky economy where quitting your day job seems foolhardy and funding seems scarcer than, well, pay raises and affordable health insurance.

But according to Michael Feuer, cofounder and former CEO of OfficeMax, the iron is not just hot; it’s smoking. And if you don’t strike now, someone else just might beat you to it.

“The perfect time to make your move is when everyone else is afraid to,” says Feuer, author of the new book The Benevolent Dictator: Empower Your Employees, Build Your Business, and Outwit the Competition. “It’s a lot like investing in the stock market—once everyone else starts jumping on the bandwagon, you’ve missed the window.”

The truth is, says Feuer (pronounced “Foyer”), entrepreneurial success isn’t rocket science. It requires a great idea, the chutzpah to pull the trigger, and the determination and discipline to create and stack the building blocks needed to get from point A to point B—and from point B all the way to Z.

If anyone knows what it takes to be a successful entrepreneur, it’s Feuer. He started OfficeMax with almost no money and built a $5 billion company in a relatively short period of time. Now he’s working to build that same success as founder and CEO of his new venture, Max-Wellness, a health and wellness retail chain.

His new book, The Benevolent Dictator, tells you how he’s reached such great heights. Through scores of specific leadership lessons, this non-traditional, gung-ho guide lays out the leadership methods that can effectively launch a new business and navigate it through the fast-track growth phases that produce tangible success.

Once you’ve made the decision to take your stalled start-up idea off the shelf, blow away the dust, and move it into the marketplace, you’ll need to know what to do (and, just as important, what not to do). Feuer’s book can help. But in the meantime, here are nine of his tested & true tips and insights for getting the job done right:

You’ll need to rule your startup like a benevolent dictator. It’s not as scary as it sounds, Feuer assures readers. The “benevolent” part means always putting the entity, the employees, and, most importantly, the customer, first. In other words, you’re focused foremost on doing the right thing for the right reasons, for all stakeholders. The “dictator” piece simply means that somebody in a new venture (i.e., you) has to recognize when debate, conversation, and analysis can’t take you any farther. At that time you have to decide, “We’re taking this fork in the road, for better or worse, and it’s on my head.”

“With both OfficeMax and Max-Wellness, being the benevolent dictator provided the critical leadership necessary to take an idea and transform it into reality as fast as possible,” says Feuer. “Remember, beating the competition is never easy. Someone has to be willing to make the important decisions when it counts.”

If you don’t ask, you won’t get. Whether you’re asking an employee to go the extra mile, asking a vendor for a discounted price, or pitching a business concept to an investor, you have to be willing to put yourself out there. Though most entrepreneurs don’t like asking others for help, they must learn to live with the process, because it’s a stark reality of growing a company.

“Asking is certainly much more difficult than getting; however, it becomes much easier if you can learn how to make a strong presentation and tell your story,” notes Feuer. “Attention, interest, desire, and action are the key elements of selling—you can ask for or tell just about anything as long as you do so honestly and spell out the good, the bad, and the ugly.”

“No” means “maybe.” The word “no” is just a synonym for “maybe.” Feuer writes that this realization led him to train his teams to comprehend that the “no” you receive the first nine times is merely a disguised “maybe”—because the other guy is looking for a reason why not to proceed, or doesn’t understand what you’re asking. It’s only after the tenth time—when the other person hangs up on you or walks out of the room and slams the door—that “no” really means “no.”

“I’ve seen it over and over: Hearing ‘no’ simply means that you haven’t effectively or passionately explained what you need—or adequately expressed how your success will translate to their success,” says Feuer. “Obviously, you’ll have to be tactful. You certainly don’t want to alienate potential investors, customers, or employees by harassing them for a more favorable answer. But you don’t have to take ‘no’ for an answer either.”

Always look at a new idea through your customers’ eyes. Today customers have the power—and they know it. No longer do they have to accept inferior products and dismal service. In our world of almost instant computer-driven communications, blogs, chat rooms, Tweets, Facebook pages, and apps galore, the consumer has come of age. There is a fast-growing movement afoot, and customers of the 21st century will not be denied.

Feuer explains that at OfficeMax he had an army of customer service reps who were trained to do the right thing for the customer the first time around. Still, periodically, tenacious customers who were outraged by a perceived transgression made it their mission to reach the CEO directly. It was during those phone conversations that Feuer truly learned what listening to the customer really meant.

“I would identify myself when I answered my phone, and the irate caller would, many times, launch into histrionics,” he recalls. “He or she would often suggest I take the angst-causing product and place it where it shouldn’t go and wouldn’t fit. After the ranting and raving stopped, however, I almost always solved the problem by simply saying, ‘I’m very sorry. I apologize. You’re right.’ Listening. That’s all it took.

“Whatever kind of business you’re running—whether it’s a retailer, software development firm, restaurant, accounting firm, or manufacturer—it’s imperative to listen to what your customers are really saying when they tell you what they want from your business,” he adds. “You must learn how to think like your customers and see things through their eyes, not just yours. In essence, you must create an environment, a product offering, and a way of doing business that makes you the company of choice.”

The journey better be as much fun as the destination. Many a great entrepreneur has been derailed by burnout. It’s a disease that can be caused by many factors, but which ultimately boils down to this—too much focus on the final outcome and an inability to enjoy the day-to-day elements of being an entrepreneur. In short, you have to enjoy the journey as much as you enjoy reaching the destination. If you don’t, you might make it there, but you won’t last long once you get there.

Feuer explains that he always incorporated this mindset into his business plans, right down to his daily activities. He’d start the day by handling his most difficult or unpleasant tasks first. With those out of the way, he’d take a management walkabout checking with staff members at all levels. Then he’d move on to thinking time, meeting with colleagues, or sometimes just schmoozing, bonding, or focusing on new and better ways to get things done.

“I always tried to teach through my own example that the journey for everyone should be as much fun as the destination,” says Feuer. “It’s important to shape your day-to-day work in a way that allows you to have some fun. By getting the hard stuff out of the way early, you don’t have to work with a sense of dread and you’re freed up to enjoy the rest of the day. Build some fun into every day, and you’ll stay refreshed and focused on making your business the best it can be.”

Let “Mother” do the hiring. Bad hires are not only disruptive to businesses—they’re also expensive. According to a variety of studies, the cost of firing senior- or middle-management personnel can be as high as 300 percent of that person’s annual salary, and in some cases even higher. This includes the cost of finding a replacement, training, and the ancillary emotional and unsettling peripheral and disruptive effects. How can you stack the deck in your favor when making a new hire? Listen to your mother.

“If there is a voice in your head that sounds like your mother and it’s advising you not to hire a certain candidate, the voice is probably just your entrepreneurial instinct telling you to proceed with caution,” says Feuer. “But beyond what I call the Mother Rule, there are ways to get job candidates to reveal their own crucial character traits.

“One way I vet candidates is to ask them to provide a letter of interest outlining why they think they can get the job done, and what it would take to get them to join the organization,” he adds. “This shows me how the candidate thinks and articulates ideas and concepts—and also lets me know if he or she is thorough and has a sense of urgency by getting back to me in a timely fashion.”

Don’t drink your own bathwater. When success is reached, history tends to be rewritten about who did what and why, and how victory was snatched from the jaws of defeat. At a certain level, this is all well and good. The problem arises when the true story gets filtered down, and the lessons from the experience lose their meaning because they’re not accurate or they’re too vague. This makes it increasingly difficult to apply what you learned to similar future efforts. If something didn’t work and no one remembers why, you’re usually destined to repeat past mistakes.

Know when it’s time to pull the plug. One of the biggest dilemmas for any entrepreneur, CEO, or business owner is to know when enough is enough. There are peaks and valleys in virtually every company and industry. The trick for an owner is to understand these vacillations and know when it’s time for you to sell—to the highest bidder, of course.

“The key to fulfillment and continued success is knowing how and when to reinvent one’s business and even personal life,” says Feuer. “It’s all about looking for that new twist or turn that might ignite a new burning in the belly.

“That time arrived for me when I decided to sell OfficeMax,” he adds. “The company had been—in my mind anyway—something I did for almost 16 years but not who I was. I was thrilled that what I did employed 50,000 people and did business in every state but Vermont, with international operations in China, Japan, Brazil, and Mexico. At the end of the day, I knew that my team and I had built OfficeMax to fulfill its promise of ‘serving its customers, creating opportunities for its employees, and building value for our shareholders.’ With this realization, I knew it was time for me to move on.”

Know how to put lightning back in the bottle again and again. It is absolutely possible to be a repeat entrepreneurial success. Most successful second-act players have honed their instincts and skills and created a series of methodical steps that they follow. They understand how to get from A to Z while minimizing pain and wasted motions and maximizing available capital. Experience has taught them where to spend the most time and effort to ensure that they meet or beat both others’ and their own expectations.

“Like many successful entrepreneurs and operators at this stage, I live to work rather than work to live,” says Feuer. “I love the challenge, thrive on naysayers telling me it can’t be done, and get great satisfaction in proving the pessimists wrong. I won’t presume to understand the psychological reason why anybody does anything, but the simple answer for me is that I put lightning back in the bottle because I know I can. There’s nothing more gratifying to me than starting from scratch and building a meaningful and relevant business, and if it’s a giant, so much the better.”

“If that sounds like an exhilarating life to you—and if you’re prepared to lead and to put the interests of your customers and employees ahead of your own—why not go for it?” he concludes. “Take a chance. Pull the trigger. Start building something great. It doesn’t matter what’s going on in the economy. If you’re feeling that burning in the belly, there will never be a better time than now.”

About the Authors: Michael Feuer cofounded OfficeMax in 1988 starting with one store and $20,000 of his own money, a partner, and a small group of investors. As CEO, he grew it to more than 1,000 stores worldwide with annual sales topping $5 billion. He is also CEO of Max-Ventures, a venture capital and retail consulting firm, and cofounder and CEO of Max-Wellness, a comprehensive health and wellness retail chain that launched in 2010. After opening initial laboratory test stores in Florida and Ohio, a national roll-out is now underway.

Dustin S. Klein, contributor and editor of The Benevolent Dictator, is the publisher and executive editor of Smart Business Network, publishers of Smart Business, the nation’s second-largest chain of regional business publications. He has interviewed thousands of senior executives and civic leaders across America. He is a regular presenter on business-related issues for public and private business audiences and is a frequent guest on television, radio, and Internet programs.

Why Now Is the Natural Time to Learn the “ABCs” of Spiritual Healing by Susan Apollon

Spring is in the air and with it comes an innate need to clean and declutter your emotional and spiritual world. Intuitive psychologist and author Susan Apollon shows you how to find inner peace and let the sun shine in.

It happens every spring. As sunlight reawakens tiny buds and fresh breezes dust the fields with lilacs, a strange compulsion kicks us out of our winter stupor. We actually want to clean. Floors suddenly seem grimy and corners cobwebby. The cluttered basement starts to really bug us. Even that previously insurmountable task—window washing—sounds like a good way to spend a Saturday. Intuitive psychologist Susan Apollon says our annual spring cleaning frenzy is more than mere tradition: It’s the manifestation of a primal urge for renewal on a deeper level.

“We have a deep need to mimic the earth’s own rebirthing cycle by cleaning floors, decluttering closets, and airing out rooms,” says Apollon, author of Touched by the Extraordinary, Book Two: Healing Stories of Love, Loss & Hope . “And while a pristine, life-affirming home is a nice by-product of this urge, you shouldn’t stop there. No matter how organized and spotless your physical world may be, it won’t matter if your soul is cluttered with emotional debris.”

In other words, it’s time to embrace “spring cleaning” for your spirit. Apollon says spiritual cleansing and healing can and should be done all year long. But when you’re in a “decluttering” sort of mood already, it just feels easier and more natural to focus on trashing those spiritual bad habits and on making room for new ones that will lead to healing and joy on every level.

What exactly is spiritual healing? Apollon says it’s about balancing our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and actions. It’s about becoming whole. Healing takes place when we reclaim our power, wisdom, or spirit, which we often bury during the process of life, and when we reconnect with our soul or higher self, as well as with the Universe or God.

On a more practical level, it means learning to live in such a way that you don’t spend all your time fretting about the future, worrying about your kids, or obsessing over health issues. And it means coming to a place where you refuse to settle for a job, a relationship, a lifestyle—a life—that doesn’t fulfill you.

Understanding the Law of Attraction

Spiritual healing happens when we work with the Law of Attraction, which is basically an understanding that energy attracts like energy. Apollon explains it this way: Given that everything is energy and vibrates, and given the Law of Attraction, wherever we are vibrationally, we attract to us experiences of a similar level of vibration. What we choose to focus on (thoughts, images, beliefs) causes us to vibrate at a particular level, resulting in either good or not good feelings. Focusing on thoughts or images that cause us to feel relatively good or better will enable us to be at a higher level energetically and, consequently, will draw to us a higher level of vibrational experience.

In other words, when you worry about your job, your grades, your children, your health—and that is what you do most of the time—your dominant energetic level is quite low. Being in this state causes you to experience events and situations which are of equally low vibrations.

The trick, of course, is to become conscious and aware of how we are feeling in order to allow ourselves to do the work of cleaning up (or out) our spiritual closets and bringing in what feels energetically better. This allows us to attract to us wonderful things and experiences that we want—our hopes and dreams—rather than those things and experiences we don’t want.

To do this we need to be really clear about our intentions, says Apollon. We need to decide what it is that we intend to do or make happen in our lives that will make us feel good or better (happy, satisfied, joyful, peaceful). Once we have our intentions in mind, we can give them power and help to create them by giving ourselves permission to really focus on them.

In part two we will talk about the ABC’s of Spring Cleaning for the Spirit.

As a psychologist and an author, Susan Apollon empowers and heals the body, mind, and soul; as an educator, she informs; as a speaker, she inspires and touches the heart.

For more than twenty-five years, Susan has been in private practice in Yardley, PA, evaluating and counseling adults, families, and children who are dealing with difficult life situations similar to what she has personally experienced, researched, and written about, including cancer, other health issues, trauma, and grief.

She is an avid researcher of Mind, Consciousness, Intuition, Energy, Prayer, and Healing and brings this expertise to her three published books—Touched by the Extraordinary, Book Two:Touched by the Extraordinary, Book Two: Healing Stories of Love, Loss & Hope: An Intuitive Psychologist Shares Insights, Lessons, and True Stories of Spirit and Love to Transform and Heal the Soul; and Intuition Is Easy and Fun: The Art and Practice of Developing Your Natural-Born Gift of Intuition (co-authored with Yanni Maniates)—as well as to her audio books, online course, CDs, and MP3s. Susan’s work is scientifically based and enhanced by her ability to trust her own intuitive wisdom.

Who would guess that my ambitions were stuck deep inside an old filing cabinet?

While cleaning out files not long ago, I found a copy of my new years resolutions from 1988. Imagine my horror to discover many of those “old” goals looked exactly like the same goals on my current list: save money, lose weight, eat healthy, etc. Had I no new ambitions? And could it be that 20+ years later, I still had not accomplished what I’d desired? How depressing!

It made me realize that many times we go through the routine of setting new resolutions for the year without really being mindful of what we want to accomplish or achieve. That’s why in 2011, I am following 5 strategies to make sure I stay on the path to success.

These are taken from a new book, Upside: How to Zig when Life Zags, coauthored with a wonderful friend, Bonnie Michaels. In 2011, resolve to…

1. Accept that the “not-known” is the new normal. Thanks to technology, our world is changing faster than ever before. While this change means the end of many things familiar, it also brings maximum opportunities. Rather than focus on what isn’t working any more, look for new events or prospects and redesign your goals and resolutions accordingly.

2. Eliminate expectation and entitlement. Almost everyone has hidden expectations that can lead to entitlement, i.e., go to college and get a good job, etc. or “I deserve this because…” When these expectations don’t pan out, it can cause anger, disappointment and even depression. Learn to detach yourself from expectations and approach goals with hope and fortitude instead. Then celebrate small successes as you move toward your achievement to reinforce a positive outlook.

3. Make passion your true power. Many of our goals are “shoulds” or expectations from others and not a passion individually. The fastest way to sabotage yourself is to allow external influences determine your priorities. Instead, try clarifying your personal core values and reworking your version of the “American Dream” to align with what you are passionate about. Then, create a strategic plan to incorporate this passion into your daily life in small doses while you move toward your overall goal or resolution.

4. Master mindfulness. In a crazy-busy world of texting, 24/7 accessibility and one-up competition, taking time out to reflect on how you want to work and live is critical. Becoming more mindful, or aware, of what’s going on around you brings clarity and allows your focus to stay on track. Constantly thinking about the past or future robs you of the present and can sabotage your goals.

5. Develop a community of support. Achieving goals and meeting resolutions are accelerated when we surround ourselves with people of like minds and energy. Sometimes we are unwittingly derailed by our friends and families who are comfortable with our present selves or lifestyles. Changing this focus usually means reaching out to professional groups, mentors or networks like WECAI.

For more ideas on creating sustainable success or mastering life’s unexpected challenges, visit

www.UpsideTheBook.com for articles, blogs, videos and a free downloadable book club discussion outline. Upside: How to Zig When Life Zags is available through Barnes & Noble bookstores, online at www.Barnesand Noble.com or directly through the publisher at www.CollageBooks.com.

Allison Blankenship is an author, speaker, Life Diva™ and communications strategist. You can reach her through Allison@UpsideTheBook.com.

Once I was asked just that question by a reporter and she was taken aback by my immediate response of “Nonsense!” There appears to be an assumption that there is no longer a need for hand-written and personalized thank-you notes, and I wanted to assure you, there are always occasions, events, and other times when gracious words and thoughts are sincerely appreciated.

My own sons, when they were little, got stuck when it came time to write their notes. They experienced the same frustration of basically knowing what they wanted to say, but didn’t know how to say it or where to start. And, just like almost everyone else who has stared at blank page, they were intimidated by the dreaded writer’s block.

However, when you approach a thank-you note as a mini-adventure in creative writing, a whole new attitude begins to evolve. All that’s needed is three to five sentences, and make it more FUN; I encouraged them to use generous doses of imagination and good humor.

Later, as I volunteered at their elementary school, and others throughout Broward and Miami-Dade Counties, both the students and the teachers applauded my philosophy, easy tips, and techniques to turn their “Oh, do I have to” complaints into surprising “I can do that” enthusiasm.

Just think about it. As with any art or profession, there are certain necessary tools. Where would Georgia O’Keefe be without her paints and canvases? Or Josiah Wedgwood, without his clay and sculpting tools? Or Jim Henson, without his furry materials and a performance studio?

Gathering Your Writing Tools BEFORE You Need Them

Now is time to get your:

Scratch paper for your first drafts (or you can use your computer).

Stationery or note cards with a favorite design or you can create your own using a computer program with photographs or graphic elements.

Stamps. (The US Postal Service has a great selection of commemorative stamps available through http://www.usps.com/all/ (under “Buy Stamps” click through to “Panes” to see the sheets of stamps). Or do a search online using “Create Your Own Postage Stamps” for companies that will help you design your own stamps.)

A pen of a pleasing and contrasting color suitable for your stationery.

Address file.

A calendar (for planning and deadline commitments).

A dictionary (don’t depend on your computer’s spelling program).

A thesaurus (there is more than one way to say “gift”).

But My Handwriting is Terrible

How many times have you read a thank-you note and noticed how the handwriting changes throughout? I describe this fluctuation as a battle between the left brain and right brain. Once you become aware of your first thoughts, as you take out your good stationery with every intention of “dashing off” a note, you may find that they are not the beautiful, creative musings of gratitude. They are, in reality, “Oops, if I make a mistake, I’ve ruined a perfectly good piece of stationery,” followed by a visualization of crumbled paper frustrations.

That good piece of stationery is a left brain object of perfection, which doesn’t allow for easy stream of consciousness creativity. The first draft is perfect for the right brain’s creative dance of thoughts and ideas. Here you can make changes, correct your spelling and grammar, and find those words to capture your sentiment perfectly.

But I Don’t Know What to Say

I believe we are all natural storytellers, and by that extension, writers with stories to tell.

As a writer you need to work with a foundation

of facts, so answer these basic questions:

Who gave you the gift?

What is the gift?

Why did you receive the gift?

When did you receive the gift?

How will you use the gift?

Then, use your five senses to add adjectives to the mix. Draw on your relationship to the person who gave you the gift. Now, you have more than enough information to write a fantastic note. Once the draft is done to your satisfaction, you can RELAX; because all that is left to do is copy what you’ve written onto your good stationery.

By being prepared to write your thank-you notes, and by following the confidence-building ideas above, you will find that with each note it gets easier to express your gratitude to others.

One Last Thought About Penmanship

Your handwriting is an extension of your personality and what you have written, an extension of your voice ― together they are a magical connection that is within your power to create and share.

Note: This article also contains copyrighted material from Cat Wagman’s book, Why … THANK YOU! ― How to Have FUN Writing Fantastic Notes and More. http://www.thankyouthankyou.com/

Cat Wagman is President of Working Words, Inc., a Florida based company, that takes the work out of writing by providing copywriting, editing, and consulting services. She is also available for speaking engagements and creative writing workshops. Contact: WorkingWordsFL@yahoo.com or 984-629-8772.

I had a chance to interview David Drum, the good-humored author of Introducing the Richest Family in America, in his home in Los Angeles.

Here is David’s story:

Why did you write this funny little book about rich people?

Well, frankly, I think a lot of rich people are completely ridiculous. As a society, we make over our wealthiest citizens, shower them with publicity, their pictures are everywhere, all to convince ourselves they’re special and exalted beings, much like the gods on Olympus were for the ancient Greeks. Yet, frankly, most of our rich heroes and heroines have feet of clay. Since when does having money make you talented or interesting? Poor Paris Hilton, look at her, her every move analyzed and photographed and what has she ever done in the world besides being born rich?

Your female characters seem to be mercenary. Are you one of those men who hate women?

I love women, to tell you the truth. They’re almost always better conversationalists than men and much more pleasant to look at. And in my own defense I should say, too, not all my female characters are mercenary. Long Drive Loo, the Chinese pro golfer, is certainly motivated to move her family’s factories to China and I guess it’s fair to call her mercenary although the way it plays out is humorous. Petunia, the wealthy family’s oldest daughter, who has a large collection of miniature pot-bellied pigs, is not motivated by love for her animals and not by money. Clementine, the rich industrialist’s beautiful younger daughter, is much more concerned about appearances than with money — that’s why she’s had so much plastic surgery. Actually, it’s the men who are the real “gold diggers” in this story.

That’s true. You do have two men marrying women for their money. Isn’t this the reverse of the cliché about gold-digging women?

Of course it is, that’s exactly the idea. These characters are gold-digging men, but it’s in a comically over-the-top way since one of my gold-diggers is a lawyer and the other is a doctor. This type of thinking is new to my book, but I think we’ll see more of this as women become more successful and often make more money than their spouses. Look at the proliferating pre-nupital agreements! This does a number on the male ego, let me tell you. In my book, it’s merely amusing, I think, although the idea does have a little bit of bite.

What inspired you to write Introducing the Richest Family in America?

My favorite character, Long Drive Loo, the sexy Chinese pro golfer, was inspired by a female Chinese medical doctor I met a few years ago who pursued me very vigorously with phone calls and so forth for quite some time. She thought we’d make a good match, and she just assumed I’d agree. I was just knocked over by the exuberant straightforward way she pursued me, so different than an American woman who might never have even called me at all. When I started writing Introducing the Richest Family in America, for some reason I immediately thought of her.

Have you always been a writer?

I’ve been working for most of the last 20 years as a journalist and a writer. I’m the author of several non-fiction books, but I’ve done a lot of other things. I’ve been a craps dealer, a mortician, a foreman on a turkey ranch, an inner-city teacher, and even an encyclopedia salesman. I’d hope some of this various experience filters into the book and makes it a bit richer.

Was it difficult to imagine a world, like you did in Introducing the Richest Family in America, where everyone had so very much money?

It was such great fun! It’s not as good as having lots of money myself, of course, but to imagine women driving around in fabulous cars, and living in fabulous houses, was I guess the second best thing to actually living that life. Sort of like window-shopping in a very wealthy community like Montecito, I guess, except that I went a little deeper into the sex lives and thinking of my characters than that.

What do you hope other people will gain from reading your book, Introducing the Richest Family in America?

I’d hope for one thing that people can take a look at the concept of moving manufacturing plants to China, which is costing our country a lot of jobs although of course it increases corporate profits. I’d also hope to produce some significant laughter in my readers, and perhaps to restore a little sanity to our celebrity and money-worshipping culture.

David Drum, the good-humored author of Introducing the Richest Family in America is the author of several nonfiction books, artist’s books, and one book of poetry. David’s diverse background includes work as a sports editor, a craps dealer, a ranch foreman, a construction worker, an encyclopedia salesman, an inner city schoolteacher, a funeral director, and an advertising copywriter. He has been the president of the Independent Writers of Southern California, and a county chairman for two political campaigns. And so much more! For more information about the book and the author visit: http://www.introducingtherichest.com/

For busy working mothers, finding a healthy, happy, balance between work and life is a constant struggle.  As any spouse or child can tell you, when mom’s not happy, no one is happy.  Dr. Cathy Greenberg – speaker, business adviser, radio host, and coauthor of WHAT HAPPY WORKING MOTHERS KNOW – reveals that the key to being your best is choosing happiness.  Recent studies and scientific research have shown that happiness is directly linked to success and accomplishments in life.  “By taking care of your own happiness, you will be better at everything you do, as a mother, worker, and partner,” explains Greenberg.

WHAT HAPPY WORKING MOTHERS KNOW gives women practical advice and effective strategies they can use to adjust their mindset and begin the journey to lasting happiness.  Greenberg and her coauthor Barrett Avigdor surveyed hundreds of women, and in the book, share poignant stories from around the world that will inspire readers to transform their own lives.

Some of the women whom readers will meet in WHAT HAPPY WORKING MOTHERS KNOW are:

Sue, a longtime working mother who survived deadly gastric bypass surgery.  She credits her happiness to always looking for the silver lining and managing to take time for herself every week, despite her hectic schedule caring for her elderly parents and having custody of her granddaughter.

Claudia, a lawyer and mother of two, who found happiness when she learned to ask for help from her husband, started paying attention to her personal values, and accepted that there’s no such thing as superwoman.

Anabelle, a single mom of two teenage sons, who figured out what was important to her.  She then made changes to simplify her life such as moving to a house that was within walking distance of her boys’ school and becoming one of the first people in her company to have a computer at home.

Through their research, the authors of WHAT HAPPY WORKING MOTHERS KNOW found that the common denominators for happiness are:  being healthy, adaptable, proud of your family, proud of your work, and feeling young at heart:

Being healthy – Physical health has a huge impact on brain function.  It’s important to eat right, drink lots of water, get enough sleep, and exercise.  “You are the CEO of the corporation that is your body, and it’s up to you to set the tone, direct the operations, and make the right decisions to boost the bottom line, which is your health,” says Greenberg.

Being adaptable – Change is a part of life.  How a person deals with change makes the difference between being stressed and being happy.  Having a clear sense of values, priorities, and purpose helps to make change less stressful and easier to get through.

Being proud of your family – Forgive yourself and others for not being perfect and be proud of your family.  Setting the bar impossibly high only ends in disappointment.  “Happiness requires that we take pride in what we have,” explains Greenberg.

Being proud of your work – Your values should align with your work, and you should feel proud of the contributions you make at any job.  A good job is not always a job done perfectly.

Feeling young at heart – Find joy in the simple things of life and replace negative thoughts with positive ones.  Focus on thoughts of love and appreciation, and take the positive path whenever possible.  When this occurs, the body produces the hormone DHEA, which prevents aging and gives us feelings of youthful vitality.

WHAT HAPPY WORKING MOTHERS KNOW is a handbook for moms that will show how positive psychology can lead to a healthy, happy, balanced life.  As Carolyn Kepcher, CEO of Carolyn & Co. and co-star of NBC’s The Apprentice, says,  “Women everywhere will recognize themselves in this book.  No matter where they are on the career ladder, working mothers can move beyond mere success and achieve true satisfaction:  a happy, balanced life that sets a positive tone for those around them.  Sounds impossible?  Cathy Greenberg and Barrett Avigdor show us how in this splendid work, chock full of wisdom, anecdotes, and real-life action steps and advice.”
About The Authors
Cathy L. Greenberg, Ph.D., is an internationally recognized authority on leadership and applying the new science of happiness.  She is a former managing partner at Accenture and CSC.  Greenberg is a contributor to many articles and bestselling books.  An acclaimed speaker and radio show host, she founded h2c – Happy Companies Healthy People – the first organization to specialize in coaching leaders on the art and science of building happy, high performance companies.  Her motto, “Happiness = Profit,” has become a mainstay for both her personal life and those she serves around the world.

Barrett S. Avigdor, J.D., is an international lawyer, executive coach, and Fulbright Scholar.  An innovator, trainer, and thought leader in talent strategy and management, she has been a member of the leadership team of Accenture’s Legal Group since 1995.  She helped establish Accenture’s strengths-based approach to their global talent and employee engagement initiative as both a facilitator and an author on the subject.  She can be found circling the globe spearheading her passion for excellence in human performance.

The Process

Keep in mind that while the folktales are about real people, real places and real events, you do have “poetic license.” If details are hard to come by, don’t worry. It is not essential that every detail be present.
Make a list of what you do recall. That list can be useful in prompting memory. Use broad pen strokes when writing as these folktales are told from the heart. Both creative and profound, the heart is the true author of our stories.

Tips
1. You do not have to write perfect folktales. For many people, writing is a process. The first step is to get down what you recall. Then you can flesh out that skeleton with details and choice, creative impressions. Once that has been done, you can go in with an editor’s eye and make sure your work is grammatically correct. Not an editor? Don’t worry. Most computer software programs or the grammar pages of a good dictionary can help you with that.

2. Not all folktales pour out onto them page in just one sitting. Most writers usually go through a few drafts before they write the final version. This means you can write as often and as much as time allows.

3. If you start to write a folktale and then stop because you don’t know what to write, that’s okay. Just keep writing. Maybe the first folktale won’t be a keeper. The idea is to write, and practice is a big part of warming up the writing muscles.

4. Do not stop mid-stream during a writing session and read what you have written. Wait until after you have finished writing, then read it aloud. Stopping to review what you are writing can lead to “thinking” about what you are writing.

Chances are that can lead to judgment and criticism about the literary quality of your writing which can destroy any of the enjoyment and pleasure you and those you are writing for may experience.

5. Don’t worry about what form the writing takes. There are many options, including poetry (rhyming and prose), essay and short story. Maybe you’ll want to write a poem or a first-person narrative essay (“I remember when Uncle Jim…”) or third person (He was just seventeen when he joined the Navy…”). Experiment until you find a form that best fits the folktale you want to share. There is no one writing form that is “right.

Book description:
116-page workbook introduces reader to folktale themes that exist in every family. This workbook offers easy to follow writing exercises and pod cast and scrapbooking techniques. Sample folktales are also included.

About the Author: Karen Pierce Gonzalez  is an award winning fiction and non-fiction writer. Author of the Family Folktales: Write Your Own Family Stories workbook and Family Folktales: What Are Yours?, she has been interested in folktales for more than two decades.

She is a member of the Western States Folklore Society and has been a journalist for more than 20 years and has facilitated writing workshops for more than 15 years. Her writing credits include nominations for the Pushcart Prize and awards from Farmhouse Magazine, National Pen Association and California Writers Association.